dance moms moms

If there’s one thing that Abby Lee Miller can consistently do, it’s bring the crazy to Dance Moms. Despite her legal woes, she managed to be a part of last night’s episode–although she appeared to be on the verge of a mental breakdown the entire time. However, I don’t think Abby’s as unhinged as she appears…I think it’s all ego. Also, Lifetime, I’m on to you adding nine extra minutes to the episodes this season. Not cool. 

Abby is sporting pajamas and rollers as the ALDC waits to practice. Jill has her nose so far up Abby’s bum in hopes of drawing her out of the insanity. “Your hair is going to look so great when you finally take out of those hot rollers,” and, “You don’t want to go out on the bottom…you need to show the world you’ve still got it!” Abby retorts that she wasn’t put on this earth for the Feds to make her look bad. She’s done working with the ALDC. Holly questions whether they should pursue an opportunity with Debbie Allen. They want to be supportive, but if she doesn’t want them there, they don’t have other options. As Abby melts down, she shuns Melissa and Jill who hope she’ll change her mind. Gia is equally stressed as she works with the girls on their group number. 


The competition is Phoenix and the mothers are worried. Gia shares that Kalani and Brynn will have solos. Maddie was supposed to have a solo, but she’s still shooting for her movie. She’ll be part of the group number, but they can’t risk her not having enough rehearsal time for a solo. Jill interrupts to ask Ashlee about recent drama with Kira. Apparently, they have been exchanging hateful texts that will no doubt come to a head when they reconvene in their hometown of Phoenix. Holly is focused on finding a nurturing place for their girls, so she’s pushing for Debbie Allen’s help. Jill polls the girls to see if they would be okay with switching studios for this competition. JoJo speaks with the wisdom these mothers should have…if they don’t have a teacher that wants them, they need to find one who does. Nia and Kendall second JoJo’s assertion, and Holly hits up Debbie Allen on speed dial. I am just thankful for no pyramid!

dance moms jojo

The following day, Abby still refuses to work with her elite team, and Jill seems confident in their decision to move to Debbie Allen’s studio. The mothers are concerned that the group number will have no costumes, so Kalani calls her mom who can provide costumes from her studio store. With Maddie’s impending return, Brynn is feeling the pressure. She knows she’ll have to beat Kalani to solidify a permanent spot on the team. Over lunch, Ashlee complains Abby’s lack of leadership, but Jessalyn stirs the pot. Jess reminds Ashlee that it’s a good thing that Abby won’t be in attendance to watch Kalani wipe the floor with Brynn. Ashlee is appalled…haven’t the other mothers noticed that Kalani has been off her game recently? Can’t these ladies snark on each other’s God awful make-up and horrific extensions without dragging the girls into their hatefulness?

Debbie Allen is the epitome of class. She is supportive and kind to the girls, and both the dancers and their mothers are awestruck by her presence. Even in the midst of the madness, Debbie can’t muster a negative word against Abby, sharing that she hopes their teacher will be back with them soon. Debbie laughs and inspires, and Jill is over the moon watching the difference in her teaching style compared to Abby’s. Funny…wasn’t Jill opposed to the Debbie Allen option just a few weeks ago? As Kalani practices her solo, Debbie gushes over her talent. When it’s Brynn’s turn to rehearse, Debbie praises her technicality but worries that she lacks emotion. Are you listening, Ashlee

dance moms abby

The day before the competition, the girls (and Maddie) are working together in Phoenix at Kira’s studio. The moms inform Kira of all the drama she’s been missing while at home with her new son. Despite quitting the ALDC a few times over, Abby has traveled to Phoenix to send mean texts to the moms for retreating to Debbie Allen’s studio. Jessalyn is quick to tell Kira that Ashlee thinks Kalani isn’t a good dancer, but Jill corrects her. Ashlee just said Kalani wasn’t as good as she used to be. Kira is obviously peeved, but she admits that Kalani being in LA without her has caused her daughter stress. Before World War III can break out, the moms learn that Abby has arrived. She’s eating fast food in the parking lot. As the mothers rush to greet her, Jill inquires as to why Abby didn’t get her hair done since that’s why she claims she came to Phoenix. Oh Jill. Rookie move for a veteran. With her mouth full, Abby spits that she has gotten her hair done, and she’s planning to get her eyelashes done as well. 

Holly wonders if Abby plans to come in to watch the girls. Abby chomps and rolls her eyes…doesn’t Debbie Allen have everything covered? Jill asserts that they didn’t ask Debbie to come to Phoenix…they just needed some guidance with Abby’s choreography. “Lazy!” screams Abby. Yes, that is one word most would use to describe Debbie Allen, right? #sarcasm The mothers retreat into the studio, and Abby saunters in a few minutes later, complaining of the smell and complaining that the moms need so much coddling. She’s fighting a major battle, and these girls should know how to operate on autopilot by now. On the day of competition, the moms are buzzing about Kira and Kalani’s tardiness. Ashlee is hoping the mothers will see this as Kira’s disloyalty to the team, but when she arrives, Kira chirps about pumping breast milk and not missing the competition. Ashlee makes the attack personal (three baby daddies and a criminal record…you don’t say!), and Kira strikes back that Ashlee is pathetical. I love when reality stars make up words! Even the veteran moms are silenced by that word. Ashlee and Kira trade insults with Kira hoping that Abby will intervene. As Abby ignores everything around her, Kira storms out in a blaze of cussing glory. Jill and Melissa run after her, and Kalani is able to talk some sense into her mother.

dance moms aldc

Kalani’s solo is stunning. She is such a talented girl. Abby even takes time away from her tabloid and meal deal to pay attention. Ashlee is clearly concerned after Kalani’s performance, but she know her daughter is an asset to the ALDC. Sure enough, Brynn’s routine is technically perfect, but, as Debbie Allen said, she’s lacking the emotion that Kalani had. Before the group number, Abby is peeved about the costumes…all the shorts are different lengths. The mothers realizes that Abby is really upset that the mothers took matters into their own hands. Jessalyn screams that Abby is trying to rile up the girls with costume complaints when they look great and don’t need her erratic behavior. As the girls try to ignore the negativity (even Maddie looks like she wants to ream Abby), Abby prevails with her costume overhaul. While it’s not my favorite choreography, the girls nail their group number. At the awards ceremony, Brynn doesn’t place while Kalani wins the overall solo. The ALDC also get first place in the group routine. I’m sure Abby will take credit for the win though. Jessalyn wonders if Abby is setting a good example, and Abby retorts with a sing-song, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Her crazy eyes place Brynn on probation, and Kira threatens to walk if Ashlee returns. 


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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