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On last night’s Dance MomsChrist-y returns! Ashlee wanders into the viewing room to a find a new mother. Christy explains that she’s not exactly “new,” since Abby Lee Miller has been training her daughter Sarah for ages. Ashlee looks a bit deflated and admits that while her daughter has been working hard to make the team, she’s not very popular with the moms. Christy understands…and agrees with Ashlee’s detractors. Abby needs to keep to girls she’s been training since they could walk, and she warns that Brynn’s ALDC jacket can easily be taken away from her. It’s extremely rich when Melissa enters and hugs Christy, thanking her for her support and text messages. Could this be more fake? When Jill and Holly welcome Christ-y with open arms, I know it must be a sign of the apocalypse. They all used to hate this woman. Ashlee is basically Christ-y 2.0! At least Jessalyn remembers how horrible she was. 

At pyramid, Abby praises the girls’ David Bowie routine. The bottom row is comprised of Kalani (she’s absent for her great-grandfather’s funeral), MacKenzie (sloppy feet), and JoJo (good job in the group number, there’s no real reason why she was arbitrarily placed on the lowest rung). Kendall follows on the second tier for making it through a morning without a meltdown, and Maddie is shockingly in the third spot for her silly string aim. Nia is in second for a great performance in the group number, and Brynn takes the top spot for her solo win. 

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Jill notes that Abby has been glowing ever since a rendezvous with a hot guy on their recent trip to Vegas. Abby has nicknamed said fellow “Magic Mike.” The group routine is an homage to Michael Jackson and his love of baseball because that is apparently where his symbolic rhinestone glove came into play…it was a metaphorical catcher’s mitt. I’m going to have to Google that for sure. Sarah and Brynn will be doing a duet, and I apologize in advance as I know I’m going to get them confused. They look like they were separated at birth. Kendall and Maddie are thrilled to have a duet together, and Melissa interrupts to to inform Abby that Maddie will be absent from rehearsal the following day due to a performance at Disney’s sixtieth anniversary. Abby wonders aloud if it’s fair to Kendall to cut down on practice time. When Maddie tells her mother that Abby doesn’t want the duet to be rushed so she may can it, Melissa is peeved. Maddie has missed out on so many opportunities to be loyal to the ALDC, and quite frankly she’s sick of hanging out with a bunch of negative Nancy moms at some budget dance competitions. 

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The following day, Jill and Jessalyn passive aggressively muse about Maddie’s rising star and whether she’ll stay with the ALDC. When Melissa counters that Kendall and Maddie dance like one person, Jill reminds her they still need practice. On cue, Christy chimes in–she, too, has heard the rumors that Maddie is quitting the team. Melissa exits the conversation abruptly, and Jill compares trying to get Melissa to talk about something she’s avoiding is like trying to pry a half-eaten hot dog out of Abby’s hand. It’s not going to happen. When Ashlee tries to question Melissa further, she gets bitterly defensive. Jessalyn tries to diffuse the situation by Googling the story behind Michael Jackson’s glove (thanks for sparing me the task!). She can’t find any baseball references, and the moms tease a blushing Abby as to whether she got this story from Magic Mike

In Maddie’s absence, JoJo is rehearsing the duet with Kendall. Abby hints that she’ll be Maddie’s replacement if she’s unable to attend the competition. Kendall’s face immediately goes sour, and Abby decides that perhaps Kendall could just perform the routine as a solo. Like the pro she is, JoJo steps aside, not letting the change phase her. Kendall half-heartedly goes through the motions until Abby stops to question her sullen attitude. Kendall storms out in tears. She doesn’t want a solo, she wants a duet with her best friend. As Jill and Melissa rush to coddle her, JoJo is given the opportunity to perform the dance as a solo. JoJo is excited for the chance, and she’s not upset that her teammate had a tantrum if it means she may get a solo. After an awesome performance, Abby wants JoJo to do the solo. When Jill returns, Christy is quick to inform her of the turn of events. Jill wants to know if Abby is going to take the duet from Kendall, and Abby starts yelling about how the choreography didn’t lend itself to a duet. Kendall storms out again, only to return to yell at Abby about screaming at her. Jill gathers her daughter and the two peace out of the studio. 

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The next day, Maddie seconds Kendall’s sentiment. She would love another solo with her friend. Inside, Ashlee accuses Jessalyn of throwing Kendall under the bus to get a solo for her daughter. Christy is salivating to join in on the fun. As soon as she can, she kisses up to Jill, reminding her that Jessalyin is trying to deprive Kendall of an opportunity. Jessalyn is confused. Kendall said she didn’t want to do the dance as a solo, and she certainly wasn’t keen on dancing a duet with JoJo. Jill confronts Abby that her daughter is constantly punished. Abby retorts that the only lesson to be learned is that when you’re given the opportunity to dance, you do it all out regardless of what you think about the music or the costume…or your partner. Who knew Abby’s crazy would subside mid-season to make room for Jill’s? 

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At the competition, Christ-y wishes JoJo good luck on her solo but in the next breath tells the child she feels badly that Kendall can’t do it. I have to hand it to JoJo, she’s got a backbone. She looks Christ-y square in the eye and eloquently states that neither she nor her mother had anything to do with Abby’s decision to give her a solo. The timing wasn’t right for a duet. You go, JoJo. I think even Abby is secretly pleased with the display. Christy then changes her tune to start sucking up to Abby, but Abby needs Sarah to prove herself. Backstage, Kendall and Maddie give JoJo a pep talk. They know she had no part in taking away their duet, and they both think she will rock the dance as a solo. They are correct, and Abby is blown away by her performance. Brynn and Sarah’s duet has beautiful lines and is very graceful, but to be honest, it kind of bores me and I can’t tell which girl is which. The judges love it though, although Sarah gets more constructive criticism. Abby believes that the pressure Sarah has put on herself is causing her to suffer from a case of the nerves. She then lavishes JoJo in praise. The moms are in awe of Abby’s mood in the wake of Magic Mike!

The judges gush over the group number, and I have to agree. I thought it was fabulous. Of course, Sarah gets a critique for falling behind at one point. At the awards ceremony, JoJo doesn’t even place. What? Brynn and Sarah’s duet wins first place in their division. Everyone is floored when the group number doesn’t place. Abby notes that Sarah was behind most of the routine, and Christ-y wrestles with back talking Abby or trying to save her daughter’s spot in LA. Melissa wishes everyone could just get along. Ashlee quips that Melissa shouldn’t care what goes on since they all know she’s leaving. Abby asks Melissa if she has anything to say, but Melissa just grins and smiles. She’s so out of there!

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S DANCE MOMS? 

[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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