The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5 Recap: From Malta to Spain

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 7 recap
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

Welcome to our recap for The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5! In this special Tuesday night bonus episode, Joey Graziadei takes his 12 girlfriends to Spain, where one lucky woman gets a private tour of Marbella. 10 women explore their artistic side on the group date, while another gets to experience flamenco dancing in Spain. Meanwhile, the other women wonder how to solve a problem like Maria. Here are some of the highlights from The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5.

The Rose Ceremony continues

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

When last we left The Bachelor, Maria was sobbing, “I just want to go home.” She’s tired of the constant attacks, first from Sydney and now from Lea. Stay in your own lane, ladies! Have you ever seen this show? It never ends well for the woman who worries too much about the other competitors and doesn’t focus on her own journey.

Okay, so here we go. Lea sits down with Joey to tell him that Maria’s not good enough for him. Joey’s not going to like this. She tells him she’s “trying to navigate … with grace … despite Maria still being here.” Privately, she’s really hoping Maria will “just go home,” but she doesn’t tell Joey that.

Elsewhere, Maria sucks up her tears, puts on her big girl panties, and goes to the Rose Ceremony. At least she already has a rose and doesn’t have to suffer through the extra stress of wondering whether she’ll get one.

Finally, Joey gets down to it and hands out the roses. He gives roses to Kelsey A., Katelyn, Daisy, Rachel, Jenn, Autumn, Jess, Madina, and Lea. Ugh. I was hoping he’d let her go after she questioned his decision to keep Maria. Joey, Joey, Joey. She’s a troublemaker.

Goodbye, Edwina and Allison. Allison was Maria’s best friend in the group, so there goes her support. She may not last long after this.

But surprisingly, Maria voiceovers that she’s “here to stay.” She’s just got to keep her “eyes on the prize” and focus on Joey. That’s a good plan.

Joey announces, “It’s time for new horizons.” They’ll be leaving Malta and heading to Andalusia, Spain.

A new day in Spain

In Spain, Maria toasts, “Cheers to a new location, cheers to all you beautiful women.”

But Lea just can’t let it go. “It literally pains me,” she interviews, “that not only has Syd gone home, but Maria stays yet another week. It just sucks.”

Maria has decided to just “do me, ’cause that’s working for me and Joey … That’s all that matters to me.” Good for her. I wasn’t a fan at first, but I don’t like the hate she’s been getting. I don’t think she deserves the way she’s being treated.

Suddenly, Joey rocks up on a red Vespa. After sitting at the outdoor table with the ladies, he finally confesses that he has “a date to get to.” What, no date card?

“So, Kelsey A.,” he continues, “would you like to jump on that Vespa and get out of here?” That’s nice since she just mentioned that her grandmother’s from Andalusia, and this is the first time she’s been here.

Everyone’s feeling a little downhearted watching Joey drive away with another girl when Maria asks a hypothetical question. “If Lea didn’t throw the card in the fire about the one-on-one … would any of you guys have taken it?”

Kelsey T. admits she would have “definitely” kept the card, though she adds, “I don’t know if I would have used it.”

“I think if that was my one chance and I needed to cheat to get it,” Lea self-righteously says, “I’d be patient [and] wait my turn.” Give that woman a halo!

Ironically, Lea wants to be all fair and honest, but she’s not above a little sh*t talking. “If [Maria] was ready to leave over a little conflict, are you really here for Joey?” she says. But not to her face, of course.

Cruising with Kelsey A.

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

Joey and Kelsey cruise through the sunny streets of Spain. After tasting some cured ham and local tomatoes, they do some wine tasting. Someone better take away the keys to that Vespa.

Kelsey and Joey seem to be hitting it off, but as they walk toward dinner, I see that Kelsey is once again wearing those frumpy white slides that look like they came from her grandma’s closet. Somebody needs to take Kelsey shoe shopping. Don’t they make nice shoes in Spain?

They finally end up in a cave-like cellar. It’s beautiful, but I’m so distracted by her ugly shoes that I’m not listening to anything they’re saying. I’ll try to focus.

Joey’s feeling really good about the day they had and wants to learn more about her. That’s good because Kelsey has something to share about her family.

“Family means so much to me,” she begins, “and I did want to let you know a little bit more about my mom.” Kelsey’s mom was an amazing woman, but about 10 years ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, which metastasized to her bones. Sadly, she lost her battle with cancer. I lost my dad to cancer, so I understand how she feels. You may learn to live with it, but you never get over it.

After listening to Kelsey’s story about her mom, Joey picks up the rose and tells her how much he enjoyed today. “I knew coming into this, I needed to find someone who was compassionate, kind, empathetic … and it just oozes out of you. Your mom would be so proud … Kelsey, would you accept this rose?”

“Of course,” she answers. In a confessional, Kelsey admits she’s falling for Joey.

“Our love is a work of art”

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

Back at the hotel, the other women are waiting on the couch, when the knock comes at the door. Date card! Jenn reads the card, “Lexi, Daisy, Jenn, Autumn, Maria, Katelyn, Madina, Lea, Jess, and Kelsey T.: Our love is a work of art. Love, Joey.” Oh, boy. Lea and Maria on a group date together. This should be fun.

Rachel is thrilled to realize that she’ll have the other one-on-one date this week, and the others congratulate her.

Joey takes the ladies to meet an artist named Paula. She shows them a quote that says, “I leave my heart on the page, so you need not wonder of my love for you.” Lovely. The women are encouraged to come up with their own sentences to tell Joey how they feel about him. Then, they will portray their saying on a canvas.

“Whoever conveys their quote most clearly to Joey is going to earn special time with him,” Paula says.

Most of their paintings are very amateur, but Lea has painted what she thinks is the prize-winning work of art. It’s pretty, but she’s way too cocky.

In the end, Jess wins with her painting of diamonds and her slogan, “Our future is as bright as the diamonds I hope to receive because our love is something I truly believe.” Not exactly great prose, but it elicits an “Aww” from Paula.

After announcing Jess as the winner, Paula instructs them to get into their bathing suits, “as you’re going to make your first piece of art as a couple.” Uh oh. I hope they’re not going to be rolling around in paint. Didn’t we already see that on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City? But that’s exactly what they do.

Group date cocktail party

Photo: Disney/Richard Middlesworth

Jess is on Cloud Nine about her special time with Joey earlier in the day. “But selfishly, I still want time with him tonight,” she admits. Of course, she does. And she’s gonna piss some people off, too.

Joey pulls Jenn first for a chat. When he asks her how she’s been feeling, she responds, “It’s been an interesting week for me … With my feelings growing, it’s been a lot to process.” Joey is happy about where they’re going. Surprisingly, she didn’t mention Maria.

Next, Maria gets her time with Joey. She shares that she grew up mostly with her dad and was a big daddy’s girl (me, too). Her mom left when she was young, but before she left, baby Maria and her mom were in a terrible car accident. They were both very badly injured, and Maria was actually pronounced dead before being revived. Her mom had a deep depression following the accident, and she wasn’t able to be the mom she wanted to be. She and Maria are still “a work in progress.” Maria hopes her mom will be able to meet Joey because she’s a fan.

At the end of the evening, Joey offers Maria the rose, and she gladly accepts it. He’s happy that she’s opening up to him. The other ladies aren’t so happy, especially Lea, who said some really mean things I’m not going to repeat. Just more of the same.

Flamenco dancing in Spain

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5 recap
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

Back at the hotel, Kelsey A. and Rachel are waiting for Rachel’s date card to arrive. Rachel has her smart-girl glasses on. They look cute on her. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, and Kelsey goes to get the card. Kelsey reads the card, but my Spanish isn’t that fluent. Thankfully, Rachel translates the message as, “Let’s go dance, my love.” Thank you, Rachel.

The next day, Joey’s looking forward to spending time with Rachel. Rachel’s thrilled they’re going flamenco dancing. Joey and Rachel are provided with flamenco shoes, but Joey questions his decision to wear shorts. Shorts and boots aren’t a great look on a guy.

After learning the dance, they are invited to dance in a show with a group. They gamely agree, even though they’re a little nervous. Somebody found Joey some long, black pants for the show, so he’s a little more comfortable. Rachel has also been provided with a long black skirt and a red blouse, so she looks the part, too. The dance isn’t perfect, but they have a good time with it.

At dinner, they decide they’re very comfortable with each other, but they need to go a little deeper. Rachel shares her experience as a nurse, which is a tough career. I have several friends and a stepson who are nurses. They often share the very worst moments of their patients’ lives. Rachel says it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone in the medical field because of the long hours and the mental/emotional stress.

But Joey says he’s “all in on the slow burn,” so he offers her the rose, which she happily accepts.

The Rose Ceremony

The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 5
Photo: Disney/John Fleenor

While Katelyn is talking to Joey, Maria comes over and asks if she can interrupt. Katelyn says, no problem, of course, and leaves. But when she goes back inside, she tells the other women that Maria “stole” Joey from her. Jess gets upset about this and says, “It’s giving disrespect.” Um, hello? Didn’t you actually “steal” him from somebody else a couple of weeks back when you’d already had your time? How soon they forget.

Things blow up with Maria and Jess, and Jess walks away in tears, but not before throwing the B-word back at Maria. She’s crying in Lea’s arms, when Jesse comes in with his champagne glass (clink, clink) and announces it’s time for the Rose Ceremony. Jess is still having a meltdown. She blames Maria for not getting any time with Joey tonight. She says, “If I don’t get a rose tonight, it’s, like, not even fair!” Fair? Oh, honey, calm yourself down. You sound like a sixth grader.

Before handing out the roses, Joey says, “Tonight is all about me trusting my gut and going with my heart.” He gives roses to Jenn, Kelsey T., Daisy, Lea, Lexi, Katelyn, and Jess. See Jess? Now don’t you feel silly for throwing that giant tantrum? Goodbye, Autumn and Madina.

While sharing the customary glass of post-RC champagne, Joey says they’re going to change it up a bit and head West. They’re going to Montréal, Québec, Canada. Oh, dear. It’ll be cold there this time of year (this show was filmed last fall), especially after being in sunny Spain.

See you next week!

The Bachelor Season 28 airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.