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Reality Tea

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With many Real Housewives shows on the decline with drama (looking at you Orange County and Atlanta), the New Jersey ladies have really come through for the viewers when we needed it most. Season 9 is the show’s best season in years. It’s not even over yet, but I cannot wait for the Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 9 reunion. Then again, I really don’t want it to end. I’m torn.

Who am I kidding? The reunion is going to be a screaming match. I’m so here for that. As of this moment, we don’t know exactly what they argued about discussed, but we did get some sneak peaks at their looks thanks to social media. I just want to know if anyone wore Jovani!  Or is that more of a New York City Housewives move? Spoiler alert: there are A LOT of sequins. Oh And spray tans, of course.

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Teen Mom 2  is back with a brand news season! Last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2 opens with Chelsea Houska who is seven months pregnant. She and her husband Cole DeBoer just bought a house on a large plot of land in a quiet rural area. The couple seems to be having many new beginnings, with a baby on the way and buying a new home. Everything isn’t as sweet for everyone on. Teen Mom 2. One cast member is fighting child abuse allegations the episode!

Chelsea’s ex, Adam Lind, can now only see Aubrey at a visitation center. He has to show up fifteen minutes early so that they don’t run into one another. If he fails to arrive on time, the appointment is cancelled. While on the way to the visitation, Chelsea is very open and honest with her daughter about why she has to meet her father in this manner. Sadly, she receives a call from the center reporting that Adam didn’t show up and therefore the visit is cancelled. He will have to pay a no show fee in order for them to set up another appointment. My heart broke for Aubrey. It was apparent she was disappointed not to get to see her dad.

Vanderpump Rules Recap: Bad Mutha

Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was the collision of past and future as Stassi Schroeder’s mother demonstrated that the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

The morning after her birthday meltdown, Stassi has some amends to make with Beau Clark. Stassi’s hangover face, puffy and red, has aged her 15 years yet she’s still drinking a beer for breakfast! It’s like one of those aging apps that shows what you’ll look like on your 50th birthday.

Apparently Stassi’s telephone harassment of Beau escalated to in-person harassment. She stormed back into the party to demand he come to bed with her immediately. And in response Beau cried. The next morning he whines that when Stassi yelled it felt like getting “dick punched” in the heart. Do dicks punch? I hadn’t known. Oh, maybe Beau means like being punched by an actual dick. Someone like Jax Taylor, perhaps.

Stassi Schroeder & Her Mom

On tonight’s all new Vanderpump Rules the fallout from Stassi Schroeder and Ariana Madix‘s joint birthday proves to have long-term drama in Stassi’s life.

First Stassi has to make amends with Beau Clark after drunkenly calling him, texting him, and screaming at him during her party. Thankfully, Beau loves Stassi but he is not willing to put up with her antics. 

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Who doesn’t love a good comeback? Lindsay Lohan is back in the spotlight, for good reasons this time. She just debuted her new reality show Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club. Set in Mykonos, Greece, the show follows Lindsay’s staff of age 20 something VIP hosts as they work at her new glamorous beach club.

The staffers keep difficult clients, and most of all, Lindsay, happy and satisfied. Unfortunately, there’s trouble in paradise as the staff focuses more on partying than taking their job seriously. This causes unnecessary drama for Lindsay who does not want the reputation of her club, or the Lohan brand, ruined by their actions. 

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Laura Betancourt seemed to be going down a road many third stews on Below Deck have traveled.  Mix together the inability to properly clean a room on a luxury yacht, a generous helping of ego, and a whole lot of attitude and it could have easily ended with a flight ticket home.  Laura seemed very aware of that.  After she was called out by Captain Lee Rosbach, that is.

Perhaps it was a realization that despite being on a reality show, My Seanna is still fully functioning yacht in operation. Captain Lee could really terminate her employment.  Maybe Laura added a bit of introspection to her morning yoga routine.  Whatever the reason, by the end of the week’s episode, Laura finally found common ground with Chief Stew Kate Chastain.

Porsha Williams Insists She Doesn’t Have Trust Issues With Dennis McKinley

Porsha, Porsha, Porsha! The current Real Housewives of Atlanta season is all about Porsha Williams. If Porsha is not in a scene, the other women are talking about her.

It makes sense though. She has a lot going on. She is in a new relationship, she’s pregnant, and she’s still infuriating Kandi Burruss. What’s everyone else doing? Oh, right: nothing. This season needs to end! Or the ladies need to step it up! They need a casting reboot, for sure. At this point, Porsha is carrying the show on her back.

Dorit Kemsley & PK Kemsley

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Dorit Kemsley’s tagline “I may believe in an excess of everything…except moderation”, might hold more truth than we realized.

Dorit, whose faux English accent has the same effect of nails dragging across the chalkboard, and her husband,  PK Kemsley, live a lavish lifestyle in Beverly Hills.  Where Boy George sleeps in your guestroom, and a $3 million car as a possible birthday present is nothing to bat a fake eyelash over.

However, it seems as though their lavish spending might have caught up with them. Not only is it time to pay the piper…their payments are late.