How are we feeling about Elizabeth Lyn Vargas? The other Real Housewives of Orange County ladies showed us last night that they’re sick of her talking about money. Even if she was cast to do just that.
We all know Elizabeth is recently divorced from billionaire, Bernt Bodal. She loves fast cars, bringing out Shannon Beador’s insecurities, and terrible fashion. She also has a longtime boyfriend, Jimmy Juarez, whom she just started having sex with. Elizabeth has claimed many times that she met Jimmy last year and that they waited to sleep together until her divorce was final. Kelly Dodd, Gina Kirschenheiter, and Emily Simpson have questioned this and it looks like they’re on to something.
Welcome back to another week of The Real Housewives of Orange County. One with, frankly, a whole lot of drinking and not a lot happening. Out of everything that’s happened so far this season, this episode felt most like a bunch of filler. Which is especially strange considering all of the women are stuck together. In Palm Springs. For Braunwyn Windham-Burke‘s 20-year vow renewal. You think that equation would equal fireworks. But instead, it was a whole lot of…nothing.
Honestly, the biggest confrontation comes at the very top of the hour, with Shannon Beador continuing to argue with Kelly Dodd over the concept of a tincture. But even that simmering feud isn’t that interesting. Because it really just boils down to the fact that Kelly doesn’t understand what a tincture even is, and was flat-out wrong in accusing Shannon of starting a water line. Shannon never said any such thing. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned this season, it’s this. Never tell Shannon Storms Beador she said something she didn’t say!
Remember Lydia McLaughlin from Real Housewives of Orange County? Don’t worry, barely anyone else does either. Lydia tried, you guys. She tried to be interesting. She tried to be compelling. Hell, she even tried to make a comeback. Unfortunately for Lydia, the only thing vaguely interesting about her was her hair.
In 2018, Lydia quit the show in hopes of building her brand and starting her own reality television vehicle. Now in 2020, we’re still waiting. Glitter Town was to be Lydia’s new gig on Bravo with her glitter-flinging mother. The digital show was created in an effort to display Lydia and her mom “spreading joy”. Unfortunately the show might not take off. See, Lydia believes in God. She believes in spreading happiness. But she apparently also believes in spreading disease.
Early this morning, Vicki Gunvalson announced on Facebook that her daughter Briana Culberson was going to give birth to her first child, which seems like something Briana or her husband Ryan Culberson should be posting, not Vicki. Hopefully, she got permission from the couple to share that news.
Even though we’ve seen bits and pieces of Briana growing up on Real Housewives of Orange County, she is a much more private person than her mom. She has a private Instagram and she’s a nurse, who ditched the OC for North Carolina.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is here and a complete hit so far! Almost every scene in the first episode had fans’ jaws on the floor. The women brought fashion, a variety of cultures and religions, and a marriage to a former relative! Even Whitney Rose’s vow renewal caught fans’ attention. That’s right. A vow renewal to start her career as a Housewife. A choice and a half.
Any professional reality TV watcher knows a vow renewal is the kiss of death to a marriage on TV. There’s Vicki Gunvalson and Donn Gunvalson, Cynthia Bailey and Peter Thomas (barf), and Ramona Singer and Mario Singer. To name just a few.
It’s only Episode 3 of Below Deck and everyone’s ready for it to be over. The first charter, of course, not the entire season! We’ve suffered through two weeks with these horrendously high-maintenance guests and it’s time to get them off the boat. So thankfully, although this week picks up right at the end of the fight over James Hough, it all fizzles quicker than Francesca Rubi letting the air out of a balloon. In fact, the only thing not deflating looks to be James’ chances with Francesca? Because surprisingly, the chief stew doesn’t entirely turn down the junior deckhand’s flirtatious banter. But maybe that’s just a sign that this first, terrible charter has made everyone on board crazy.
The next morning, the charter draws to a blessedly quick close. One that’s made even quicker by the fact that Captain Lee Rosbach opts to pull anchor and head for the dock early on account of the rain. So after a streamlined breakfast of French toast by Rachel Hargrove and a particularly tight docking, it’s time for guest departure. Oh, but one more thing! Because of course there’s one more thing. Primary guest (from hell) Charley can’t help but be a bit condescending in his goodbye, but follows it up with a giant tip — $25,000 to be exact. Which is huge, especially considering the crew was literally expecting no tip at all. But does giving a giant tip truly make up for being a terrible scourge on charter crews everywhere? I guess that’s just the world of yachting…
What can you say about Kelly Dodd? Kelly has proven to be both a lover and a fighter, in that she loves herself and fights with everyone else. Some people find the Real Housewives of Orange County star abrasive and difficult to get along with. Others find her an open chasm of misinformation and delusion that is willingly shared with a wide audience.
Kelly has weathered many storms and personal attacks. She wound up with fan support after fired Vicki Gunvalson accused her of doing blow and Tamra Judge lodged a sex train rumor with Kelly’s name attached. Unfortunately, that support now seems to be… withering. As a result of some sketchy social media posts, Kelly has fallen out of favor. There’s even a whole petition on the streets to get her fired from RHOC. Recently Kelly implied she isn’t welcome on certain Bravo shows, and that has folks wondering if Ms. Dodd is on her 14th minute.
For a filler episode, this week’s Real Housewives of Orange County was quite the roller coaster, wasn’t it? There was a heartwarming high. There were low-budget lows. And then right at the end, was the lowest low of all. Personally, over the course of the episode I went from getting choked up. To being weirded out. To being completely shocked, emotionally triggered and happily surprised at the return of a familiar face. And finally, to feeling physically sick to my stomach by the final scene. For a Housewives season many fans are choosing not to watch, this year in the OC is certainly delivering all kinds of emotions so far. And we haven’t even reached the earth-shattering outbreak of a global pandemic!
Let’s just start with the low-budget low, shall we? The episode kicks off with Emily Simpson FaceTiming Gina Kirschenheiter to rehash last week’s drama. Which would be a totally ordinary thing to do in the world of Housewives if Gina weren’t busy shopping at…Walmart. Now listen. I’m not saying shopping at Walmart is sad and depressing the way some ‘Wives might. But it’s normal. Which is precisely what I don’t want from a Housewives show. Give me luxury! Give me wealth! At the very least, give me Trader Joe’s. I mean. Can you imagine Heather Dubrow deigning to shop at Walmart during her five seasons on the show? I didn’t think so. Gina getting caught shopping at Walmart on camera just goes to show how far this show has fallen from its glory days.