Reality Tea

Teresa Giudice, Ashley Darby & Brandi Glanville Perform The Vagina Monologues

When Real Housewives collide there’s usually trouble, but when Teresa Giudice got together with Brandi Glanville and Ashley Darby for a performance of The Vagina Monologues they all had a wonderful time! Teresa and Brandi getting along is a sign the apocalypse is coming, right?

“That picture says it all. #laughs #goodtimes #girlsjustwanttohavefun #ohio @brandiglanville & @ashleyboalchdarby #aftershow #didmyownmakeup @robinsclosetboutique,” the Real Housewives Of New Jersey mom captioned the above photo. “This is how we spent most of our time. I love these gals. #girlsgirls,” Ashley added.

Jax Taylor and Captain Lee on WWHL

The Vanderpump Rules spin off series with Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright has been tough on their relationship. With a show that’s centered around the couple, it’s inevitable that every single argument and offhand comment is going to make it into the episodes. Plus, they don’t have the 343 Vanderpump Rules cast members to hide behind.

Not only that, but there’s just no way that Jax insisting that Brittany has “lost her spark” so many times is not going to be featured. Jax had to answer a lot of tough questions from Andy Cohen when he appeared on Watch What Happens Live. Well, they weren’t exactly challenging questions to answer, but Andy definitely didn’t go easy on Jax.

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Who would have ever thought that Kelly Dodd would be getting along with all of her Real Housewives of Orange County co-stars except for Meghan Edmonds? Not only was last year a controversial first season for Kelly, but Meghan was the “friend” who brought her into the cast.

At this point the two of them are constantly coming at each other and scrutinizing every word that comes out of the other person’s mouth.

Dance Moms 5

It’s Dance Moms time again, y’all! I apologize for missing last week, but Irma left me without power…a small inconvenience given the magnitude of her damage, and our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to everyone affected by this recent rash of horrific storms. Abby Lee Miller is back (oh yea), the Ianas moms are still incredibly annoying (a feat given the company they keep), and Ashlee has a decision so big that it warranted a two-parter. It’s apparent I didn’t miss much in the hiatus, save for the grand dame’s return!

Chloe is leading her group number, and Christi wants to make sure she arrives early in hopes of allowing her daughter to avoid the ALDC. Little does she know, her friends won’t be competing because Abby has chosen the minis over her veterans. The mini moms are salivating to be in Abby’s spotlight. They remind Abby that she has been abandoned by her disloyal older group, and now she has a new group of bright young talent to mold. As the mothers talk over each other in hopes of garnering Abby’s attention, she barks that the minis just need to hope they make it through this week. Abby can’t focus on a future with these mothers and their girls until she runs through their solos. She screams corrections at the dancers and then calls Kate Gosselin 2.0 Hair over to dispose of her lunch trash. She happily obliges hoping Abby won’t notice her sick daughter isn’t dancing up to par.

Jen Howell Gets drunk

Last night, Below Deck was plagued by more crew issues as one man fell asleep, another fell ill, a stewardess fell into the clutches of Jesus, and a fourth fell into a toilet while wasted. Good times!

Well, where on the yacht is Chris Brown, y’all?! Captain Lee Rosbach sure wants to know! While his fellow-deck hands are busting butt to prepare for charter, Chris Brown is passed out in his bunk after a night of partying too hard. I was hoping we’d see a Captain Lee explosion when he discovered Chris Brown put booze before valor, but unfortunately the first mate fell ill the day before the charter and that superseded any Chris Brown drama. For now.

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Last night on Vanderpump Rules Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky, the show tries to answer the question that has plagued VPR since its conception: will Jax Taylor ever grow up? That would be a big and resounding NO. Because you can’t fix a 37 year old man who has been slinging his own self-absorbed ego around L.A. since he arrived four nose jobs ago. Just like my title suggests, if you put lipstick on a pig it’s still a pig, even if said pig is Mamaw’s adorable new piglet, Bacon Bit. Just like you can’t make Jax do farm chores and expect him to suddenly be all wholesome.

Case in point: after many fishbowls of alcohol, Jax gets belligerent drunk at the bar with Brittany Cartwright and it causes a huge blowup between them. Not only does he try and start a fight with some locals and yells white trash at them, but he also repeately tells his own girlfriend to eff off and antagonizes her best friend. Thankfully, there was no chunky sweater to abandon in a parking lot while challenging someone else to a fist fight this time but clearly, Jax has not come very far since that moment years ago.

Kim Richards

Just because Kim Richards is no longer a Real Housewife, that doesn’t mean that the drama has stopped. Kim was just ordered to pay over $59,000 to a former friend who was viciously attacked by Kim’s dog Kingsley and sent to the hospital in 2014.

This isn’t the first time or the second time (or the third, or fourth, or fifth time) that Kinglsey has done serious damage. Kim and her sister Kyle Richards had a major falling out when the dog attacked Kyle’s daughter Alexia and sent her to the hospital as well.

Kate-Chastain-Nico-Scholly-The-Morning-Breath

Unfortunately for Kate Chastain and Nico Scholly they have to deal with difficult crew members in addition to high maintenance charter guests this season on Below Deck. Aside from Captain Lee Rosbach, everyone on the show this season is new to reality TV and most of them are new to the yachting industry.

As frustrating as that must have been for Kate and Nico, it does give them a lot of interesting things to talk about while they do press to promote Below Deck’s latest season.