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Teddi Mellencamp

Last week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ended with Sutton Stracke cautiously knocking on Crystal Kung Minkoff’s door before opening it and walking in.  Sutton was convinced that bringing an outdoor coat from where it was left in the living room to Crystal’s bedroom would be appreciated.  The gesture of a “good friend.”  Unfortunately, Crystal and Sutton are neither “good” nor friends at this point.

Of course, editing wanted to delay showing Crystal’s reaction until the next episode.  So we only know from the teaser that Sutton walks in on her naked, and she is not too happy about it.  The mishap just adds to a lineup of very awkward behavior from Sutton during the cast trip.

Braunwyn Windham-Burke

Braunwyn Windham-Burke is not a conventional woman.  It’s not a matter of judgement, just a general observation.  First of all, she’s on a show depicting how the top one-percent live. I sure as hell am never going to buy an apartment in Miami for the sole purpose of romantic liaisons.  Her upbringing was lax and unstructured.  Braunwyn has struggled with alcoholism and drug use, even allegedly offering coke to Shannon Beador’s daughter.  Despite all that, the facade of a perfect marriage and family was well maintained.  At least until she joined the Real Housewives of Orange County.

Her love life is also unconventional, not a comment on  her sexual preference, but because of the support she gets from her husband.  By the end of Season 15, Braunwyn admitted to having an open marriage and came out as a lesbian in December.  She started a sobriety journey, and made celebrity news by exploring her sexual preferences openly and being linked to multiple women.  The mother of seven dated a woman named Kris between the new year and early April.  There was speculation that Kris would appear on RHOC, but it looks like neither Braunwyn nor Bravo was ready to commit to Kris.  However, there is someone that could potentially appear on screen as Braunwyn’s new love interest.

Lisa Barlow Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City

Ever since the news broke about Jen Shah’s arrest, anticipation for her return to the small screen sky-rocketed.  It was damn good luck that the Feds came for her while Bravo cameras were rolling for Season Two of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.  Jen has yet to have her day in court to determine if she is guilty of the charges.  The arrest was very much real though, and RHOSLC fans can’t wait to see Jen humbled a little.

Of course, Season One was volatile and entertaining in its own right.  Heather Gay just wanted to party and hook up. Whitney Rose accused Lisa Barlow and Meredith Marks of being afraid of Jen, which caused a lot of strife at Coach Sharrieff Shah’s birthday party.  Lisa and Meredith denied the allegations, despite Jen’s tendency to rage and throw glasses.  Interactions with Jen were so toxic that Meredith wisely “disengaged” from confrontations all season.  And while no one admitted to fearing Jen, the RHOSLC ladies agreed that she is untrustworthy.

Real Housewives Of New York Alum Barbara Kavovit Isn’t Running For Mayor Anymore

Barbara Kavovit’s mayoral run had about as much influence as her tenure on the Real Housewives of New York, full of good intentions but without any impact.  Sure, she’s a highly accomplished business woman who scaled the competition in a male-dominated industry, but that kind of success does not always translate into a political career.

Barbara just kind of faded into the background.  Had she managed to wrangle Ramona Singer into humble self-awareness, that would have been the ultimate indication of political prowess.  It seems that accomplishment belongs to Eboni K. Williams, a.k.a. the Ramona whisperer.  But while Eboni tends to Ramona this season, New York City leadership leaves much to be desired in real time.  Unfortunately, the person to solve the problems of the Big Apple will not be Barbara.

Garcelle Beauvais

Garcelle Beauvais and Lisa Rinna’s unresolved issues faded into obscurity during last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Beverly HillsKathy Hilton’s insomniac habits and practical jokes took the cake.  That was actually really entertaining to watch, an amusing trio of an oscillating fan, a Redbull, and a stack of newspapers.  Not to mention the watered-down martinis.

Maybe Sutton Stracke wasn’t on the group text that this was meant to be a comical and entertaining episode before Erika Jayne’s divorce news breaks the internet.  Sutton’s spiraling descent into a whirlpool of insecurity eclipsed all else.  And it drained the energy of the group, so NO ONE had the initiative to do anything except to take turns pulling Sutton from the precipice and escape to bed.

Below Deck Alli Dore

Below Deck Sailing Yacht viewers were teased with a hookup between Gary King and Alli Dore for most of the season at this point.  They clearly liked each other, but Gary’s hookup with a member of his deck team on the first crew night spelled out the trajectory of his love life for the rest of the season.  At first, Alli thought he and Sydney Zaruba had only made out.  That’s what Sydney told the crew initially.  Maybe it was a way to save face after Gary lost interest so quickly, but after it became clear that Gary and Alli were getting close, Sydney revealed the full extent of what happened in a well timed slip of the tongue.

To her credit, Alli put the breaks on Gary out of respect to Sydney.  So a “relationship” ended before it started.  It was more the potential of a romance than anything.  But considering Gary’s temper tantrums, maybe Alli dodged a bullet.  He couldn’t wait for Alli a week when the charter season ended?  Not only that, he kept trying to break her resolve.  Then he goes back to flirting with Sydney in retaliation.  Yes, Alli truly dodged a bullet.

Crystal Kung Minkoff

Crystal Kung Minkoff is the new addition on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but she is coming into this season more confidently than Sutton Stracke.  Sutton seems to be trying her voice, i.e. am I being controversial enough to secure a spot next season while still maintaining friendships and being relatable to the viewers?  It’s all about authenticity this season, thanks to Garcelle Beauvais.

Sutton’s got an uphill battle ahead of her.  Her demotion from housewife to friend because her kids couldn’t film with her was a hard blow.  So naturally, Sutton is trying to bring it this season.  Kathy Hilton, and Crystal both singled out Sutton as the pot-stirring maven of the group.

Dorit Kemsley

What is it with the Real Housewives and their quest for authenticity?  Reality shows are hardly unscripted and organic so what are we trying to accomplish here?  Sure you can ignore the producers and be your charming, amicable, housewife self, but will you get hired for another season that way?  It will be a bittersweet termination from the job, because at least you will have your self-respect.  But something tells me that self-respect and success in show business don’t necessarily intersect.

Even more so in the hub of it all, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  This show has professional actresses on the cast.  Yet they really expect each other to stop the facade?  Of course everyone is playing a part for the show, actress or not.  Garcelle Beauvais, especially, has been demanding authenticity from her cast mates, specifically Lisa Rinna.  It’s spillover drama from last season when Lisa, according to Garcelle, was not a true friend to Denise Richards.  After Brandi Glanville revealed a sexual relationship with Denise, Lisa pushed Denise to corroborate the story.  Denise continued to deny, and Garcelle still feels Lisa is untrustworthy for not being a more supportive and understanding friend.