Boys, Boys, and more Boys! Finally an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker that was not filled with skanky girls or creepy old men. As Patti Stanger would say, this episode was filled with slip and slides, and I am not talking about the cheap tarp you use to put in your front yard. These slip and slides made this lousy hour of television worth it.

In case Patti did not say it enough times, tonight’s episode was Millionaire Matchmaker history. Two gay millionaires! And both these men seemed pretty great. I actually found out the age old question where are all the guys at? They’re gay! Yes, this episode is proof that all my hope of finding a single decent guy is out the door.

Patti’s D-list celebrity client Madison Hildebrand from Millionaire Dollar Listing finally agrees to let Patti set him up. I sense Bravo did some persuading here. He is apprehensive- do you blame him? Patti sets her millionaires up with scary people – remember the party girl Sheerena.


Our next gay millionaire is Eric Allen who is a stray rescuer (no, not the kind that rescues cute stray puppies, but the kind that rescues guys that have no jobs.) He is sent to Dr. Nicki because whenever Patti does not know what to do with her clients, she passes them on to therapists! Dr. Nicki and Eric have a bizarre therapy session sitting Indian-style on the floor with candles burning around them. It seems like some type of initiation ceremony that girls in sororities participate in.

I for one loved that Patti had all the suitors come out to the pool for selection. I just found it odd only one guy was wearing a bathing suit which happened to be a speedo, and he happened to keep his snack for later in his pants. Banana, anyone? Cue, sexy music! The men are all asked to show off their hairless chests, and of course every single guy has an amazing body. I mean amazing! Hot, hot, hot! This goes back to my theory that all the good guys are gay.

To end the hot guy pool party casting, Destin (thankfully clothed because I do not believe he has a slip and slide) jumps into the pool complaining the casting had too many men. Well, I for one disagree. Also, I want to take this opportunity to say Patti has not complained or yelled really at anyone this episode, and we are already over half way done. Maybe Patti should just be a matchmaker for gays.

Awkward convos are galore at the mixer. Both men have no clue what to say to their dates. Yes, they have a flaw! But in the end Madison picks himself Charlie who looks like he just stuck his finger in a light socket Patti says looks like Brad Pitt. Eric chooses Chris which seems like a good match since both guys seem pretty straight laced.

Madison takes crazy hair Charlie on a paddleboard date. They take the opportunity to not only show off their amazing paddleboard skills but also show off their dance moves. Again, gay men can do everything! They also can wear matching baseball caps without looking silly. I think Madison must have given Charlie the baseball cap as a hint, but Charlie did not get it when he showed up for dinner with his hair crazy.

Eric has a romantic horseback riding adventure with Chris. Dare I say Brokeback Mountain? But the two also have a good time and dinner. They seal it with a kiss. Success for Patti! I repeat what I said earlier Patti should be a gay’s only matchmaker because this week she nailed it for both clients, and she did not lose her cool once.

Photo by: Nicole Wilder/Bravo


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