Sweet relief! A certain network realized this week that two hour long episodes of the Jersey Shore weren't holding our attention. Thank you, MTV! Do you know what I realized? It's fun to watch the intro that features the gang circa season one given the amount of plastic surgery the girls have had. I almost don't recognize Jenni "J-Woww" Farley when she talks about ripping guys' heads off after sex! Of course, DJ Pauly Delvecchio looks exactly the same.
Last night begins at the tail-end of the Bamboo brawl. Andre 3000's twin is dressed as "Where's Waldo" and his entire purpose seems to be holding back an overly aggressive Vinny Guadagnino. Roger is scrapping with bouncers and pushes Jenni aside. She quickly throws a drink in his face in an effort to get him to chill. Ronnie Magro-Ortiz is the voice of reason. We all know that's never a good sign! The gang vacates Bamboo, with Roger storming ahead, not listening to anyone who tries to reason with him.
Jenni is wearing some God awful hot pink platform heels, and she seems to be limping. Roger yells at her about getting involved in the fight while his friend tries to calm him. Jenni tries to placate Roger, telling him she knows he didn't recognize her, and she's not mad at him for throwing her down because he clearly didn't mean to do it. His reply? "I knew it was you, and you deserved it." Oh alcohol, bringing couples together for centuries! Jenni and Deana Cortese head back to the house, and Deena is devastated by Roger's behavior. Back at the house, Jenni is worried that she has a broken ankle. Ronnie calls Roger to make sure he's okay and not sitting in jail, and Roger starts yelling about Jenni controlling him and playing the victim.
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A very well-rested Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi wakes up at her apartment and heads to the shore house. Jenni is the only one awake, and she retells the story of the night's events. Snooki realizes that Jenni is limping and decides to take her to the doctor. Rawn and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola are heading to the gym to work off their aggression left over from the night's fight. The couple bickers over Jenni and Rog's scuffle with Ronnie saying girls should never be involved in a dude fight and Sammi siding with Jenni who was just trying to protect her man.
At the doctor, Snooki is finally glad to be in the caretaker position. Obviously, Snooki wants Jenni to be okay, but she can't help but imagine that Jenni with a broken ankle means that she'll have someone to hang out with when everyone else is out partying. Snooks is also devastated when she asks the nurses to measure her, and she learns that the's shrunk an inch. She's only 4'8! That's not the only bad news…Jenni has a fractured ankle and needs to see a bone specialist to figure out if she needs surgery or a boot. I had the same thing happen to me last year, only I don't have Roger to blame…just Sean T. from P-90-X's Insanity. Jenni leaves the doctor's office on crutches, and she asks the doctor to write her a note so that her roommates won't think she's just being dramatic. Snooki couldn't be more thrilled that she's got another "disabled" person in the house.
The boys are discussing the fight over lunch, and it's our first glimpse of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. Both Pauly and Rawn fault Jenni for getting involved, and Pauly predicts she'll try to milk the situation (the fight, not Mike) by coming back in a cast. The girls can't believe Jenni's misfortune, and the dudes return home and aren't too keen on Jenni's injury. Rawn does have a great one-liner when he says Jenni's name should be "carton" because she's always milking things! Even with the doctor's note, the guys think she's being incredibly dramatic.
The roommates are going to Karma…even Jenni and Snooki. Deena's boyfriend Chris is there, as well as Vinny's family–including Uncle Nino! Vinny describes his uncle as the family member you don't want to leave your kids alone with, and Jenni decides to sit in his lap for a while. She's so wasted that she keeps falling on her crutches. The Situation isn't feeling Jenni. He's being swarmed by girls when she reminds him about Paula. He's also not feeling drunk strangers. I totally get why he's so frustrated. None of his Karma fans seem very supportive when repeatedly turns down offers of shots and free drinks. He is itching for a fight, but he decides it would be a better idea to head home instead. He invites Paula to come over and cuddle.
Back at the house, a wasted Deena pops her giant blue ball. She's all kinds of upset. At 5am, Paula finally arrives. She's Mike's ride or die chick…and cue the night vision cameras. The following morning, a still buzzed Deena can't find anyone awake to join her in her meatball day. Without so much as brushing her hair (or her teeth), she heads to the boardwalk in the clothes she slept in and bellies up to a bar. She's auditioning strangers to be meatballs, but she's not having much luck.
Mike gets a special delivery from Paula. Is wearing a mud mask? Paula was thoughtful enough to send him chocolate covered strawberries and bananas after their "good sex." Mike decides he needs to make things official. Vinny and Pauly D think that hell has indeed frozen over. Back at the boardwalk, Deena is dancing on the bar. Wow. She's totally still wearing her slippers! She goes from dancing to sobbing when she realizes she's a lone meatball. She perks herself up by getting another giant blue ball. She even kisses the guy at the booth. At home, Snooki is upset that, despite her broken ankle, Jenni is still having the time of her life. Why couldn't she act like that when Snooki wasn't pregnant?
Deena is walking her ball down the boardwalk. The duo arrives at the Shore Store, and Danny offers up another co-worker to chaperone a falling down Deena. Sam and Rawn head to breakfast (yes, breakfast) where they find a beyond wasted Deena. She face plants onto the floor. The poor Shore Store employee pretends like he doesn't know her. He helps her up, and he tries to keep her from stumbling into the street. She yells at him for being a dad instead of a meatball. She's dancing in traffic when she gets arrested. The Shore Store employee begs the cops to let him take her back inside. Rawn and Sam get to the street in time to see a sobbing Deena taken away in a police car.
Next week, Deena's parents are not happy with this turn of events. The Situation wants to make things official with Paula, and Roger is still mad at Jenni. Um, shouldn't that be the other way around?
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW DRUNK DEENA WAS?
[Photo Credit: MTV]