Oh, Sean Lowe works out? I almost forgot. While glistening with sweat and annoying homely husbands across America, the Bachelor shares, "One week into it, I find myself really digging a lot of women." Only Sean knows which ones but the possibilities include Sarah, Kacie, Desiree, AshLee, Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Lesley, Selma, Catherine, Kristy, Leslie, Tierra, Taryn, Daniella, and Amanda. One of these women could (but probably won't) be Sean's future wife.
Chris Harrison arrives on the scene of the crazy to deliver the first date card. It's addressed to Lesley and reads, "How long will this love last?" Lesley is excited and goes on and on about dreams coming true and taking her relationship with Sean to the next level.
Sean brings Lesley to the Guinness World Records Museum. Lesley isn't too impressed, saying, "I'm thinking, um, this could be fun, but if I could have picked any place… I really didn't think we'd be coming to the Guinness World Records." Poor Lesley… a waste of a good (albeit way too short) dress is always tragic.
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Apparently, Sean's dad set the world record for driving the 48 contiguous states in the shortest amount of time and Sean wants his own little piece of the Guinness World Record pie. With Lesley, Sean hopes to break the world record (3 minutes and 15 seconds) for longest on-screen kiss. It's three minutes and sixteen seconds of awkward. Sean and Leslie get a certificate for their hard work. All we get is the realization that we'll never get those 3 minutes and beyond back. Somehow, after merely holding his lips to her lips for an uncomfortably long time, Sean comes to the conclusion that Lesley is a great kisser. Leslie gushes, "Today has been the best day of my life. Kissing Sean feels so right."
Later, Lesley and Sean each admit to having strong feelings. Leslie says, "This is the best feeling ever. I'm falling in love with this guy. He's perfect." Sean decides to give Lesley the rose, explaining, "It's not every day that you find someone so sexy, so smart, so funny."
The group date card is addressed to Kacie, Robyn, Leslie, Kristy, Tierra, Catherine, Desiree, Taryn, Amanda, Lindsay, Daniella, and Jackie and reads, "Who's going to win my heart?" Beachy Sean gives me a serious Beverly Hills, 90210 Steve Sanders vibe. Kelly Taylor for the win!?! The beach date is all fun in the sun for Sean and his bachelorettes until Chris Harrison shows up. Chris announces: The game is beach volleyball, the attire is skimpy bikinis, and the prize is "serious and quality alone time" with Sean.
Chris divides the bachelorettes into two teams: the blue team – Lindsay, Jackie, Desiree, Kacie, Robyn, Amanda - and the red team – Taryn, Leslie, Kristy, Tierra, Catherine, Daniella. Nearly every single girl whines about how much she needs to win. Not only does Daniella need to win, this is the most important game of her life! When the blue team wins the game, Kristy and Leslie cry all the way back to the mansion and Daniella mourns what could have been an amazing night. Their overreactions are disturbing. Deeply disturbing.
Sean brings Lindsay, Jackie, Desiree, Kacie, Robyn, and Amanda back to his house. During their one-on-one time, Lindsay tells Sean, "I'm just so amazed by you. I don't need that constant attention, but I want to be able to look at across the room, give you a look, and you totally know what I'm thinking." Sean loves it and "amazing and meaningful" kissing happens with the icky lizard tongue. Sean obviously did not listen to Arie's kissing advice.
Desiree reveals her spiritual side to Sean, saying, "I think differently, I think, than a lot of people. I don't just think, like, on the surface. I have a deeper side. I enjoy life, and I enjoy the beauty of life." Then, Amanda promises, "When you were kind of describing what you're looking for in a woman – well, you're looking at her. If we were to get married, I would bring a light, airy, fun atmosphere."
Kacie doesn't think Sean will tolerate any drama… so she creates drama… and hopes Desiree and Amanda's need to compete works in her favor. Kacie cries to Sean, "I feel like I've been punched in my face." Dramatic much? Kacie goes on to say she can't be herself because she's stuck between Desiree and Amanda. Sean wisely asks, "Why are you involving yourself?" Kacie talks more nonsense, and Sean tells her that she's acting like a crazy person.
To the camera, Kacie mopes, "My plan just doesn't seem to be playing out the way that I thought it would. This is not what I wanted to happen. I could have lost my chance. It's kind of freaking me out." When Sean gives the rose to Lindsay, Kacie adds, "Lindsay gets the rose, and I look like this crazy person who can't handle all of this drama." Does Kacie seem drunk to anyone else? She clearly just bought herself a one-way ticket back home. I know Kacie is a fan favorite but I'm personally not going to miss her.
When the last one-on-one date card arrives, it's addressed to AshLee and reads, "Do you believe in magic?"
AshLee's "nothing will and can go wrong today" sends Tierra tumbling down the mansion stairs. The bachelorettes stand around and gawk at the barely responsive Tierra until Sean arrives and calls for help. Tierra whines "I don't want to do this" about the neck brace, "this is stupid" about the backboard, and "I don't want to go there" about the hospital. Tierra wiggles her way out of it all and insists she's fine. Catherine says, "I don't really know whether she's hurt or not, but she popped up and was like, Oh, Sean's here! Maybe he's her magic potion." AshLee comes to the conclusion that Tierra is simply begging for attention, namely from Sean, and unfairly interrupting her date.
Sean and AshLee eventually go on with the date at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Another wasted dress. Joining them on their date are two chronically ill teen girls, Brianna and Emily, who met online through the Starlight Children's Foundation. The friends are meeting in person for the first time. About including the girls on their date, AshLee says, "It thrills my heart. It says a lot about Sean to me – shows great character, great integrity." After a fun-filled day of roller coasters and a private concert by the Eli Young Band, Emily says this is the happiest day of her life. Which makes those bachelorettes who say kissing Sean makes the best day ever and losing a volleyball game makes the worst day ever seem that much more ridiculous. #perspective
Later, when they're alone, AshLee tells Sean that she would like to adopt an odler child someday and Sean agrees. Happy about Sean's willingness to adopt, AshLee continues, "I was adopted at six. When I was in a foster home, I was abused by a family. But I'm not bitter, I'm not broken. I was never sexually abused. If that's all I walk away with, how lucky am I?" AshLee's story visibly moves Sean.
When Sean gives AshLee the rose, she admits, "So far on this journey, I've already opened up to Sean more than I have to anyone in my life … To completely immerse myself into the possibility of loving this man for the rest of my life – it's scary."
Following the ridiculously catty cocktail party, Sean says, "The dynamic has changed a little bit. The girls are being ruthless." Lesley, Lindsay, and AshLee have roses already. Sean picks up a rose, pauses, sighs, and asks to speak to Kacie in private. Sean says, "I have too much respect for you to make you stand through another rose ceremony
wearing that In Living Color Fly Girls dress and neon yellow hair scrunchie if I know in my heart that we're better off as friends," and Kacie leaves. Sean offers roses to Tierra, Leslie, Catherine, Daniella, Robyn, Selma, Sarah, Jackie, Amanda, and Desiree.
This journey is over for Taryn and Kristy. They both cry about missed opportunities. Actually, Kristy sobs.
TELL US – WERE YOU SAD TO SEE KACIE GO?
Photo credit: ABC