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This week on The Rachel Zoe Project we saw a Godzilla sized billboard of Rachel Zoe, Barack Obama sent Rachel a letter that outshined King Karl Lagerfeld’s letter, Rodger Berman went on more man dates and decorated the office he is never and we learned that Rachel should not be in charge of teaching baby Skyler his geography skills – mainly anything Hong Kong related.

It wouldn’t be a normal episode if it didn’t start with Rachel and Rodger bickering over money. Rodger is annoyed over Rachel’s incessant spending what’s new and today’s hot button spending topic is Skyler’s wardrobe. This kid’s wardrobe collection is no joke. Is it weird that Skyler dresses better than my boyfriend?

Mandana and Rachel are driving to Sunset Boulevard to see a giant billboard of Rachel. Mandana is excited her boss is going to be fifty feet tall. Rachel is nervous her face will be fat. The two begin to discuss New York gate. Mandana doesn’t want Rachel to move because she has no other friends in L.A which doesn’t surprise me with her facial expressions. Rachel adds that their 15,000 square foot office and 30 employees in situated in L.A along with majority of her styling clients might also be a little bit of a kink in her East Coast dream. You think?!

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Back at Zoe headquarters aka shoe heaven, Marisa is freaking out about her work load. Mainly because Rachel has returned from New York so now she actually has to do work instead of laze on fur rugs all day. Speaking of work, Rodger and his assistant are shopping for finishing touches to his office. Two things are wrong with this picture; the first being why does Rodger need to decorate an office he is never in anyway and the second being why in the world does he have an assistant? I suppose someone has to schedule his lunchy-lunch man dates.

Rodger seizes the opportunity to talk whine about Rachel and her desire to buy a New York pad. He reveals that the real reason he doesn’t want a new place is not because of the financial aspect and nor is about uprooting Skyler from the home he knows but a far more rational reason: he is worried two closets will confuse him and what if his Armani tuxedo was in L.A when he needed it New York! The horror!! Dear Rodger, you and Rachel are two peas in a pod. #MadeforEachOther

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Rachel and Mandana arrive at Rachel’s billboard and all I can think it how bizarre it is that Rachel, who is the poster child for skinny, is on a billboard that says ‘Major curves ahead.’ I spent the remainder of this clip trying to work out whether it was a joke or a riddle.

Back at RZ headquarters Rachel finds a note from President Barack Obama thanking her for participating in his Runway to win campaign. Naturally Rachel calls everyone on her speed dial to inform them, heck I would too! She even goes so far to say Mr President’s letter may actually trump his fashion highness Karl Lagerfeld’s letter. Rachel is excited to begin instagramming and tweeting her political triumph when catastrophe strikes and Rachel’s pen is leaking ink, she calls for her doormat husband who is clearly employed as her ink man rescuer, only to realize he is golfing. Well duh, where did Miss Zoe expect to find him? In his office? Now that’s just crazy!

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So Rodger is on yet another man date instead of being at work. Today’s man date is golfing with Mark. Rodger tells his friend that he is so happy he is golfing and not at work, because work is so stressful and chaotic. I’m not even lying, he said it. #Itsatoughlife Mark brings up Rachel’s billboard. Rodger hasn’t seen it. Mark is surprised and suggests he go and take some pictures and show his wife he is proud. Rodger whines that Mark sounds like Rachel and I think Mark sounds like a good husband! Dear Rodger, if you want that second child start taking your pal Mark’s advice!

Rachel and Rodger have a chat about Rachel’s billboard they also bickered about New York but you are as bored with that argument as I am. Rodger compares the billboards stature to that of Godzilla. Rachel agrees and says it’s like that other big gorilla – Hong Kong. Oh dear, Godzilla Rachel I think you meant King Kong. To-may-to, to-mah-to. Rachel reveals that the whole celebrity aspect of her career – like Godzilla sized billboards – is something she isn’t comfortable doing yet. Rodger is surprisingly sweet and builds up his wife by saying how Rachel is so beautiful so why shouldn’t she be on a billboard. Someone’s been taking Mark’s lessons in luuuurve I see!

Rachel is excited to be doing a style shoot for Elle. Rachel says that whenever she jumps back in to styling and goes behind the camera she feels more at home and in her element. Joe Zee – The Elle editor – decides that Rachel should model one of the looks seeing as it’s meant to be her fashion perspective on what the everyday woman wears. Rachel is uncomfortable but agrees. Just after announcing how uncomfortable she is in front of the camera, Rachel evolves into Naomi Campbell in 2.5 seconds flat. Rachel is demanding a re-shoot and swapping clothes with the model because she wants to wear the Chanel dress. Can you say diva in training? Rachel sweetly tells the camera that when it comes to modeling, she is a deer in headlights and finds it uncomfortable. I disagree, because I think it took her approximately a total of 7 seconds for her to agree to the shoot and shimmy into that Chanel number.

And then something AMAZING happened! Rodger admitted that his hair was RIDICULOUS! I was in shock that he had received my letters, but who cares how the epiphany came about because he admitted it! Everyone knows that the first step is admitting you have problem. Trouble is we weren’t on the exact same page about the solution part. I wanted a chop and he wanted braids. And now the viewers of The Rachel Zoe Project are left with a whole new set of problems in regards to Rodger's hair. Rodger is now a lunchy-lunching, man-dating golfer rocking daisy braids.

All the girls are at the Jockey Shapewear shoot and Rachel has a confused driver and is running late. Upon her arrival everybody is stressed about her bangs. Ahh yes, I wondered when bang drama would be back. Rachel is stressed whether to have Marianne Faithful bangs or halfway bangs whatever that is? Dustin Cohn, the Jockey executive looks confused about bang drama… to bang or not to bang? The girls look momentarily shocked by his insensitivity regarding the sisterhood of bangs. Rachel tut tuts him and tells him her bangs were breaking news on twitter and the internet and even Rachel laughed at how stupid it sounded out loud. Thank God, because I was beginning to think she was a whole other level of delusion before witnessing that glimpse of sanity. Mandana however takes her banger sister membership very seriously and truly believes that her bangs are a force field that shield and protect her. Mandana is also concerned without Marianne Faithful bangs Rachel’s face will be very visible. Insult much?! Rachel is just happy her major life problems are classy ones like bangs. I just wish someone would shave both her and Rodger's heads and be done with it. #Prayingforamiracle

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Now it’s time to read the teleprompter and I think it’s clear Rachel should have been worried about reading more than banging! Godzilla Diva is out of her cage and within seconds Rachel says she doesn’t like the sound of saying ‘shape wear tanks’ and even refuses to say the word ‘cheeky’ demanding it be re-written. Dustin is officially dead to Rachel as he wrote the script. Rachel decides that she sucks at reading teleprompters and so far everything in her life works out better when she just wings it anyway. She goes in for the wing it method, and puts a thong over her head. I start thinking deviating from the plan was not such a hot move for her. Although, if anyone could rock a thong on the face it’d probably be Rachel. #MajThong

All jokes aside, the minute RZ stopped reading the teleprompter she loosened up, she genuinely rocked it. Now that teleprompter and thong face madness is over, it’s time for dress ups.  Once again, for a woman who claims she isn’t comfortable being front and center, she certainly appeared to acclimate to the photo-shoot attention and fans blowing her bangs in the wind rather quickly. This Godzilla diva just graduated from novice to advanced in an episode!

Rachel leaves the episode saying that she grew up with a father who told her she could be the best at anything, so she did what she loved and now she’s living her dream. Watch out Rodger, daddy taught his princess well, and if she wants that New York castle, she’ll be getting it! Don’t worry though Rodger, you’ll definitely have a place as the court jester. #Chaseyourdreams

Thanks, as always, to our Fancap Author Gina P.! 

Photo Credit: Bravo TV

 

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