sister wives

Whatever is the story line for Sister Wives going to be now that Robyn, Janelle, and Christine have gotten their homes in their cul-de-sac commune? Can the season survive on Kody Brown's hair and Meri's whining alone?  

It's moving day for Christine, and it's sheer chaos.  Janelle is also moving the remainder of her things out of her rental. Madison is excited to have the whole family back together so that she can escape to another family home on the cul-de-sac in the event that her brothers are annoying the crap out of her.  She also thinks it will be great for her younger siblings to be able to play together more often.

Meri still has no news on her house, and she and Mariah are upset.  Kody's hair and facial tan make him look like a crazed snow boarder, and I'm confused by his vest…in a good way, of course.   The Brown clan has decided to put off celebrating Christmas for a week in hopes that Meri will be in her new digs by then.


Mariah is pouting in the mini-van, seething and shooting eye darts at the home she's yet to move in, and Meri is trying to comfort her daughter.  The other mothers can understand her frustration.

These houses are massive.  I am so confused as to why they need so much room.  Kody laughs about how much it looks like a "polig compound" but Christine takes major offense to the stereotype.  Meri's mother comes to help her pack.  I'm anxious to see if she's a negative Nelly as well!  Since her mom won't be there for actual move in day, Meri arranges a tour, and it's also Mariah's first time seeing the completed home.  I think maybe they should have waited until they had the keys in hand and deed recorded before getting Mariah's hopes up even more.

Kody has a brilliant plan.  He wants his wives to compete in a caramel making competition on Christmas Day.  His mother is unable to attend the festivities this year, and she usually contributes her tasty candies.  Kody has had his mother send all of his wives the recipe.  Janelle is intrigued by the challenge, and she has a secret weapon–her own mom!  Before Janelle married Kody, her mother was concerned that she was getting sucked into a polygamy and she didn't want that for her daughter. However, then Janelle's mom met Kody's dad, and they got hitched, making Kody's mom and Janelle's mom sister wives.  It also makes Kody and Janelle step-siblings, but no one seems to be dwelling on this creepy little gem.  Anyhoo, Janelle's mom often assists Kody's mom in the caramel cooking, so Janelle believes she has a secret weapon.  Kody knows that the audience probably thinks he's a misogynistic pig (and he'd be correct), but it's all about caramel, people!

Christine is all about celebrating some random holidays.  The oldest daughters are given the "privilege" of cooking breakfast for the entire family in an age old Scandinavian tradition.  No one listens to Madison about the importance of putting water under the chafing dishes, and the girls tease Mariah for burning the crepes.  Mariah, who may be a tad oversensitive given the housing situation, storms out of the kitchen.

Meri shares with Kody that she's concerned about Mariah's moodiness, and he explains to Meri that he knows what it's like because Mariah is just like Meri.  Kody is over the drama, and Meri understands that Kody has had a hard time dealing with her insolence in the past now that she sees herself in Mariah.  Kody imparts on Mariah the importance of a chipper disposition, and basically tells her that she'd have more friends if she was easier to be around.  Did I hear that right?  I wouldn't go back to being a teenager for anything.

It's January 2, and the Browns are ready to celebrate Christmas at Janelle's house.  Why are some of the kids sleeping on beds without any sheets?  We learn that each family member gets three gifts per person.  That is a lot of presents with this crew.  Robyn's gift to Kody moves him to tears, and he announces that it's the best present he's ever received.  If you recall, she surprised him by legally changing her last name to Brown.

After the hoopla of Christmas morning, the wives are gearing up for the caramel competition.  Meri and Robyn are teaming up and giggling with each other in the kitchen.  These two get along way better than any of the other ladies.  The pair conspires to go buy caramels.  They don't mind cheating since "cheater pants" Christine has been practicing and perfecting her recipe for days.  They can barely verbalize their plan because they are laughing so hard.  They return home with the store-bought caramels, and they are smushing and melting and re-wrapping their masterpieces.

The blind taste test looks like Kody is snacking on a bunch of little baby turds.  Christine wins because her caramels taste the most like his moms, but everyone thinks that Robyn and Meri's caramels are amazing.  The two ladies can't get through the competition without cackling, and they finally admit their fraudulent behavior.  After the silliness of the candy challenge, Christine wants to rally the family in another mission statement brainstorming session.  Shockingly, the teenagers are bored with this activity.  I know, I couldn't believe it either!

Meri is still playing the waiting game with the mortgage underwriters.  However, at the end of January 3, Meri gets the news that she is clear to close.  Phew!  That was close.  I was really worried Meri wasn't going to get her house.  Not.  Bless that poor realtor's heart–you can tell she is just thrilled to be done with this process!  Kody and Meri decide to surprise Mariah at work with her very own house key.  She is over the moon, and her boss lets her leave early to help with the move.


[Photo Credit: Lifetime]

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