The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

Orange is the new black, and black is the high-pitched, turbaned voice of reason? After a crazy Sunday night with the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami, I may purchase one of Lea Black's grhandma bags to bitch slap my favorite frienemies! After Lisa Hochstein revisited the Audriana de Moura deDrama at Lea's bag launch and Alexia Echevarria insulted her event, what's poor Lea to do (besides play nice with Audriana for the sake of her son)? Why address the episode's events (and her "hate club") in her Bravo blog, of course!

Lisa begins, "I love you Lisa, but a premiere of my handbag line at a couture boutique really isn't the place to re-hash the 'Adriana saga'. I'm starting to feel like the Adriana issue is being shoved down my throat every single time I am around some of the girls. I can't even go to a business engagement without it becoming the topic of conversation. I'm starting to feel like I'm being "water-boarded" to overlook who I have realized she is and who she is not — just so everyone can have a cocktail together!"


Discussing her Lea Black Beauty facial presentation, Lea takes no time in promoting her venture while calling out Alexia.  She's quite the multi-tasker!  Lea writes, "My Lea Black Beauty facial presentation at the Intercontinental Hotel was amazing. Once again Sudden Youth did its magic. This facial has never failed me. I've done it in front of very large crowds in Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, Canada, the Caribbean, Europe, the US, and on television worldwide."

She shares, "Every single person (man and woman) I have applied the facial to on half of their face has seen a difference in just minutes. I demonstrate it on half the face just to prove how well it works," before adding, "And thanks again Alexia, I've been to many of your magazine parties that I didn't call "infomercials." I am still wondering when she will stop getting her digs in. And I'm still looking back to see when I ever put a dig in about her or her business. Can't find one. Getting more points with the hate club anyone?"

When it comes to former bestie Adriana, Lea wants to do what she can to make sure their sons maintain a friendship. She explains, "I was gracious as usual to Adriana. I admit much of it was for the girls, and much of it for my son RJ in hopes of her allowing Alex to come over. I will admit there is a little 'phoniness' in my niceness — she continues to hold her son up as my reward if I brush things aside. And as most moms, I will do most anything for my son. Adriana has done many things that are beyond most people’s level of tolerance. But in the spirit of ending this saga and gossip fest, I think it best we all just move on. Her comment of the 'deep connection and trust'? Trust means trust, it obviously means something different to me than it does to her."

Lea continues, "She says I 'attacked' her — I would like someone to show me when and where I ever "attacked" her. Accepting an apology doesn't mean you pretend things never happened or condone bad behavior. To me it means, I get that you regret what you did (or regret getting caught for what you did) and we can go from there. (Let me set the record straight: Adriana NEVER called just to say, 'I love you.') Once AGAIN — I extended an invitation to my home, in hopes that this time she wouldn't snub me or run out screaming. I was really hoping she would bring her son. My son was holding his breath that he might show up. (I can't recall a time in the past when she and Frederic ever came to our house without him.) But, she comes without him — telling me he's with his father."

You know, silly, spiteful, catty housewives' fights are one thing, but leave your poor kids out of it!  Tsk, tsk!


[Photo Credit: Bravo]

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