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mob wives

So where are the vampires and werewolves? Last night was the premiere of Mob Wives: New Blood. I liked the stylized new opener…after three seasons, it was long overdue. I do take issue with all that wasted wine though!

Renee Graziano hopes that her ex-husband rots in jail. She can't be bothered with his suffering because she's starting a clothing line to compliment her Boss Bitch shoe line. A.J. is still living at home, but thank goodness, he's got a job. Renee shares that her father is about to be released from prison. Life is going well for her…thank goodness. I think we were all terrified of Renee when it wasn't!  After opening her new bar in Miami, Big Ang is thrilled to be back in Staten Island. She calls up Renee to get an earful about Renee's latest fashion endeavor. Renee's friend and newbie co-star Alicia DiMichele Garofalo is throwing a party, and the ladies can't wait to attend. 

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Drita D'avanzo is excited that Lee is back home, and she's filling him in (over the phone) about the shindig. Do you think we'll actually see Lee in the flesh now that he's out of the slammer? The ladies hit the road for Philadelphia to attend Alicia's event decked out in their roaring '20s attire. Alicia's husband has recently been "pinched by the feds" (or, as normal people call it "punished for breaking the law'), and Renee knows she's going to need the support of friends who know how she feels. Alicia uses the word "allegedly" when discussing her husband Eddie's business dealings, and he's blurred out of every picture in the VH1 montage except for his mug shot. Ang is glad that Karen Gravano is in Arizona because there is a ton of bad blood between the Gravanos and Garofalos. Drita is meeting Alicia for the first time and she's enamored by her glamor and her famous crime family. Renee is comforted when she learns that Alicia's husband and her father are in the same jail. Alicia reveals that's she's pled guilty to embezzlement to avoid the embarrassment of a trial (yeah, um), and now both she and her husband nervously await their fate.

The following day the OGs are recapping the flapper party, and they all feel terribly for the situation in which Alicia finds herself. Renee is happy that her friends like Alicia. Ang then shocks the women by announcing that Neal wants a baby. The giant boobed, raspy voice of reason is seriously considering expanding her brood even though she's a grandmother a few times over. Isn't that what surrogates are for? Renee is freaked out (can you blame her?) by the news, and Drita hopes that Ang would give Lee any ideas.

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Renee has enlisted Alicia to help her search for the perfect model to be the face of her brand. As the models parade in and out, Renee is concerned that she's never going to find the younger version of herself. Alicia has just the girl! It's newbie number two from Philly! Across town at her make-up salon, Drita calls Lee to inform her that their oldest daughter is being bullied at school. She's scared of his temper. Lee wants his daughter to break the bullies' faces. Drita tries to explain that times have changed and you can't just f–k a b—h up on school property anymore. People are too quick to call the cops. Oh how we long for the good old days, right? Drita is concerned that Lee may try to take out his anger on the bullies' parents, which won't be good given the fact he's out on parole.

Alicia is coming to New York to visit her husband at a Brooklyn detention center. She stops by Ang's house to share her saga with Ang and Drita. She claims that Eddie has kept her in the dark about his illegal activities. Apparently street guys lead a double life…they are thugs in the neighborhood but family men when they come home at night. Both Ang and Drita can relate. Alicia fills in the ladies about how Eddie has been upset about the anniversary of his father's murder. Drita is floored when she learns that Karen's father is allegedly responsible for the hit on Eddie's dad. Alicia can't believe how cavalier Karen is about her father's horrible deeds, and she never wants to be in the same room with her…so it was probably a wise decision to join the reality show on which she's been starring.

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After meeting Alicia's friend Natalie, Renee is convinced that she's the perfect face for her brand. Her family also owns the go-to funeral home for mobsters. It's a win-win! Alicia arrives to the photo shoot to find out just how close Renee is to Karen. Renee is pursing her lips and averting her eyes…she isn't ready to choose between her friends. Renee explains that it's hard for those outside the prison system who have to constantly come in contact with those who were wronged or who have wronged. Renee has been friends with Eddie since childhood, but she can't cast aside a loyal friend like Karen for her father's sins.

Ang is meeting Natalie for the first time over lunch, and immediately the new girl orders two lemon drop shots and a Grey Goose with cranberry. She'll fit right in, won't she? Drita joins the pair and it's also her initial introduction to Natalie.  Drita and Ang get terribly confused as Natalie gets drunk and rambles on about her exes. You know it's bad when Ang can't even contain her eye rolls! Wait, did Natalie just eat of Ang's plate when they've known each other all of ten minutes.  Oh no she didn't! Drita can't believe the show she's watching. Ang never loses her cool, so I am equally as befuddled. 

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The following night, Renee is launching her Mob Candy line with a fashion show featuring Natalie. It's an event complete with a press line, security (a given with these gals), and some chick named Carla (not Facciolo) who used to date Eddie before he met Alicia. Someone isn't happy. The runway show starts, and Drita finds the dresses to be just like Renee: fun, glamorous, and colorful…and exactly like every other club-dress filled hoochie store at the local mall. Just kidding. Loves it! Natalie seductively takes to the catwalk. Good. Then she almost topples off on her exit. Bad. Renee is so proud of her accomplishment, and she should be. It's quite the scene, and it's far better than most of these ladies' affairs. Ang shares the story of the drunken Natalie lunch with Alicia. Of course, Natalie overhears. And scene. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE MOB WIVES: NEW BLOOD PREMIERE? DO THE NEW GIRLS FIT IN?

[Photo Credit: VH1]

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