Little Women: LA Recap: Hostile Housewarming

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In addition to a season-long theme of babies, Little Women: LA seems to be all about theme parties of late. And this episode, no surprise, serves up a little more of both! When Jasmine Sorge announces plans to throw Briana Renee’s bachelorette party in Mexico, responses are mixed – as expected. But the poop really hits the fan at Christy McGinity Gibel’s housewarming party, where a newcomer joins the group, and the controversial bachelorette announcement is made. 

Last week, we were left at the OBGYN’s office, where Elena Gant and Preston were just about to receive the news they’re having twins. (Kind of a moot point since we’ve known this info for two weeks!) Elena is told she’ll likely need a C-section, that the twins are fraternal, and she will have a high risk pregnancy. Because the twins are fraternal, they may not only differ in gender – they may also differ in all of their genetic makeup: i.e., one average sized baby and one little baby. Too soon to tell any of this, but for now, Elena and Preston are thrilled. Yay, babies! Wishing them the best. 

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Christy is at home stressing about…what else? Weight! Todd’s first, hers second. She’s decided to lead by example, working out on the floor with that sweet ab roller advertised in 1997 on a constant loop (remember that bad boy??) to show Todd just how “fun” losing weight can be. Todd’s not interested in joining her circus right now. Christy shockingly doesn’t launch into WWIII over his reaction, instead suggesting they throw a housewarming party! Okay, then.

Tonya Banks and her daughter Angelique are at the eye surgeon discussing Kerwin, Angelique’s dad and Tonya’s on-again off-again ex. They’re interrupted by the doctor, who Tonya talks to about her deteriorating eyesight. She’s been putting off surgery for one of her eyes that turns in, but can’t let it go any longer. This issue has nothing to do with her height (my daughter has the same condition, in fact, and it can be corrected with glasses if treated early). The surgeon reminds her that he recommended surgery 10 years ago, and he’s urging her again now to consider it. I’m frankly shocked she hasn’t gone blind in that eye yet, given how long she’s neglected it! An eye turning inward means the brain has cut off signals to make it “see,” in basic terms. Tonya pinky-swears she’ll get the surgery.

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At the nail salon, Briana dishes with Jasmine about planning her wedding. Will Briana invite all of the girls? In a word, NO. Jasmine seems shocked to hear this, but Briana explains that Terra Jole didn’t invite her to her wedding, and Terra’s obviously never been supportive of Briana’s relationship with Matt. She’s not sure about Christy either, even though she was Christy’s maid of honor. It’s just going to be “close family and friends,” she says. What family, I wonder? Wedding aside, Jasmine wants to throw Briana a bachelorette party in Mexico. And she wants to invite all of the girls. Briana seems up for it. But we’ll see who else is.

Christy and Elena  are meeting their mutual friend Allie out for lunch, who’s just had hip replacement surgery. Allie is a performer in “The Freakshow” down on the Venice Boardwalk with her husband, Matt, who is sort-of sober. But not really. Christy doesn’t judge him though, and wants Allie and Matt to attend her housewarming party. Elena warns her to watch out for the cray-cray ahead, as this group of women never met a party they didn’t ruin.

Now that she’s apologized, Tonya is welcome back at Terra’s house. The awkwardness isn’t necessarily 100 percent behind them, but they agree to move forward. Baby Penny is doing well after her surgery now, which is all that really matters. Tonya confesses that she’ll be undergoing eye surgery soon, for which Terra promises to be there. They discuss Christy’s housewarming party, and throw a little shade at Christy’s description of it. 3,000 square feet? They’ll be the judge of that.

It’s time for the parents-to-be to deliver the big baby news to Preston’s dad! She just hopes he doesn’t have a heart attack when he learns that not one, but TWO bundles of joy are on the way. When his dad hears the news, he is happy, if a little bit concerned about complications. Elena and Preston are understandably worried too. But Preston’s dad tells them sweetly that they’ll be good parents, which is are exactly the kind of words they need to hear right now.

It’s date night for Briana and Matt, who’s wearing his “Not Basic” shirt, just in case we were wondering. Briana reveals Jasmine’s plans to throw her a bachelorette party in Mexico with ALL of the girls. Matt thinks Mexico is fine. ALL of the girls, not so much. Matt just wants Briana to have a good time. And to send him booty shots from the vaycay. Because he likes those sexy texts, let’s remember! 

Over at Jasmine’s, Christy pays her a visit to invite her to the housewarming party. Jasmine quickly steers the conversation toward the subject of Briana’s bachelorette party. Still wounded from being lied to last year, Christy can’t believe she’s living in a world where Jasmine is the “bestie” throwing Briana’s bachelorette, while Christy barely talks to her anymore. Jasmine encourages Christy to get more involved in Briana’s life, despite her anger, because she really just needs a friend. Then comes Jasmine’s warning: If they keep pushing Briana, she will likely cut them off for good. (Did Briana instruct her to say this?) Whether Christy or any of the ladies heed this warning, though, is anyone’s guess. But if I were to have, say, a trillion dollars, I’d bet it all on: Uh-uh. Nope. Never. 

Terra wants another baby. And Joe is being dragged through the motions of finding a new house for the family Terra plans to force upon have with him. As they sit with a banker discussing their loan potential, they hear how Terra’s bad credit is basically preventing them from getting a home owner’s loan at this juncture in their financial lives. Joe’s like: Bummer! Too Bad! Dang! He has just been let off the proverbial baby hook. Due to Terra’s bad credit, no less. Ah, irony. 

It’s the night of Christy and Todd’s housewarming party, and Terra loves the house, but she’s a little jelly over their good credit and house-buying ways. She’s just glad there’s tequila shots here, and partakes with Jasmine in getting the party started by throwing one back. Jasmine tells Terra about the bachelorette party, but Terra’s not so sure Briana would want all of the girls – especially her – there. And why is Jasmine, not Briana, inviting her anyway? wonders Terra. Despite her concerns, she reluctantly entertains the idea. 

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Elena and Preston show up, determined not to tell the group their pregnancy news tonight. As they nosh on some snacks, Christy tells Terra that their friend Allie will be dropping by tonight. Terra immediately freaks out, asking Christy why she didn’t tell the group ahead of time that she was coming!?!? Does no one recall how hot-messtastic the introduction of Lila went last year!?!? Hmmm. So, what’s the beef with this Allie chick? Not sure yet. But something tells me we’ll see soon enough! And something else tells me Little Boss will have more than a little to do with it. 

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No time for more talk of Allie awkwardness now, for Bonnie and Clyde have arrived! And Bonnie is wearing a fur. To match Jasmine’s? Fur Besties! Furbies! The ladies peacefully mingle for a bit, until Allie and her hubby Matt hit the scene. Matt’s blood alcohol level of .2 also arrives right on time. Or he is just a Wild and Crazeeee Not So Soberish Guy? Either way, Little Boss barely has a time to flash her fightin’ ring at them before Jasmine stands up to announce that they’re all invited to Briana’s bachelorette party in Mexico!  

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Elena is #NotInterested. Her idea of a good time is not watching girls puke up tequila and fight with Briana while she silently reads What to Expect When You’re Expecting in the corner of some Mexican dive bar. Terra asks Briana if it was HER idea to invite everyone. Briana admits, no, it wasn’t. But she’d like everyone “who supports her marriage” to come, despite their past issues. So, only Jasmine will attend then? Because let’s be real here: No One Supports This Marriage. Just because you want something to be so don’t make it so, Briana. I understand her frustration. But it’s not changing these ladies’ minds. 

Terra, being the bulldog she is, pushes her further though, asking if her family is being included in wedding plans? Briana can’t believe Terra is bringing this subject up YET AGAIN in a public forum. (Really!? Raise your hand if you “can’t believe” Terra is bringing this up again. <crickets>) Briana sidesteps by telling Terra that including her family “is not off the table,” but not set in stone yet. 

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Instead of taking this conversation any deeper into the Land of Delusion, Terra escapes into the house to take a moment. Tonya follows, and they dish about the awkwardness out on the lawn. Which includes new girl Allie, who Terra still doesn’t think should have been invited to this soiree because no one knows her. So, that’s the ISSUE? Seriously, Terra needs to go to Mean Girl Reform School. Remember the Girl Scout song: Make new friends, but keep the oooooold? #GetaGripGirl!

Meanwhile, Allie is being perfectly civilized and friendly outside. And Briana’s relieved to talk to someone who doesn’t know Matt, therefore has nothing bad to say about him. (Maybe Allie can be her maid of honor!) 

Christy comes in the kitchen to Terra accosting her right away about Briana’s bachelorette party. Is she going? WTF!? They aren’t even friends with her on that level anymore!! Terra yells. Christy says she’s “all about forgive and forget,” but Terra and Tonya think it’s twisted. Terra wonders if Christy really feels like she’s at the point where she can go to Briana’s event with an open heart? For the sake of their friendship’s history, and in hopes of repairing what’s left, Christy is willing to try. As for Tonya, it’s a definite no. Terra’s not sure yet. “What if nobody goes?” Christy wonders. “I wouldn’t say it’s too far fetched,” Terra snarks.       

TELL US: DO YOU THINK EVERYONE ATTENDING BRIANA’S BACHELORETTE PARTY IS A GOOD IDEA?

Photo Credit: Lifetime

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