After rough waters between First Mate Bryan Kattenburg and misguided gnome of a Deckhand Danny Zureikat, we are being treated to some beach sun and fun with the horny charter guests of the moment on Below Deck Mediterranean. Fellow Deckhand Bobby Giancola and Danny have been invited to join the all-male guests to party on the beach and compete to see who can kiss a bar-dancing girl first. You would think I’m making this up, but I can assure you, I’m not. Bobby makes a sad/valiant attempt but is shot down. Danny scores by jumping on the bar and joining her and is rewarded with an awkward kiss on the cheek, which is all this poor girl could muster.
Back on the Ionian Princess, Chief Stewardess Hannah Ferrier isn’t feeling well but won’t let her pride or a migraine take her away from her duties! DeckhandJen Riservato tries in vain to please an unimpressed Bryan with her window cleaning abilities. Hannah is busy calling Danny but to no avail because Danny is knee deep in women, hopping around them like a coked up elf. He finally calls back to Hannah to let them know they are coming back with the guests for dinner, plus 8 random women.
Well, this is just too strange, dark, and totally shocking to snark about. Apparently, fan favorite Chief Stew Kate Chastain has been busted on a domestic dispute with her girlfriend, whose name has yet to be revealed.
The Below Deck star is out on a $5,000 bond after being arrested for biting and choking her girlfriend, who she was allegedly trying to kick out of the house. She bit her on her arm and leg, then choked her. Her official arrest reads as a “felony domestic violence charge of battery by strangulation.”
I’ve been waiting patiently for Chef Ben Robinson to lose his facade of cool, and it looks like this is the week he most decidedly will. On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier can’t differentiate between and entree and an appetizer (both of which are the same in her European view, as the terms are interchangeable), and Ben decides to stop keeping his enemies close, opting to tattle on Hannah’s poor job performance to Captain Mark Howard instead. Captain Mark, and Captain Mark’s eyebrows, are not pleased.
We pick up from last week in the galley, where Hannah is trying to cover her arse by claiming to be confused about the 2-course menu she and Ben had plainly agreed on earlier. The guests are starving, so there will be emergency kebabs! But Ben is not pleased about the botched service that makes him look unprepared. “Stop using that word!” Ben demands when Hannah refers to one of the courses as an entree. Sure, they may be in Europe. But the guests are American, the crew is largely American, and the show we’re all being subjected to is obviously American. Hannah thinks Ben should give her a “goddamn menu!” if he wants his dishes clearly communicated. “Don’t mess with me!” he warns when Hannah goes off about #MenuGate. “I’m shakin’ in my f*kin boots, mate,” she snarks back.
Dinner is botched! A boat nearby sinks into the Mediterranean Sea! The skies darken, and the Greek Gods rain lightning down upon the Ionian Princess! Is it Danny Zureikat’s fault? Eh, probably. Actually, we get a break from nonstop Danny drama this week to explore the ineptitude of the rest of the cast. Namely Hannah Ferrier, whose communication skills with Ben Robinson (and with everyone else aboard) need some serious work. Welcome to this week’s Below Deck Mediterranean: People Who Suck At Their Jobs Edition!
We pick back up at the bar where Bryan Kattenburg is ripping Danny a new one. He wants Danny to remember he’s a bottom guy. Does that make Bryan a top? Bobby Giancola is trying his best to wear Julia D’Albert-Pusey down, despite her boyfriend back home. Outside, Ben apologizes for not having Hannah Ferrier’s back when it comes to Danny and his many antics. Instead of accepting his apology, Hannah accuses Ben of being “abusive,” which is laughable. Ben’s like, ah, whatever. Friends, then? Great! Buh-bye! He sped the apology session up to escape the emotionally unstable Hannah. Smart move.
After last week’s poetry slam (party of one), lovesick Danny Zureikat is on strike 2 of 3 with Captain Mark Howard, not to mention everyone else. Not ready to “go be a Walmart greeter,” just yet as Captain Mark suggested, Danny figures he’ll stick around and try to screw up his life a little more! Thus begins another week of Below Deck Mediterranean, A Young Man’s Journey Toward A Restraining Order. But first! A possible beat down on the high seas, courtesy of deckhand Bobby Giancola? Yes, please!
Last seen, Tiffany Copeland was getting her drunken hookup on with Bryan Kattenburg. At the same time, Ben Robinson (who secretly likes Tiffany) was trying to squirm out of Hannah Ferrier’s cringe-inducing clutches. Just as Ben made his escape, he was faced with another conundrum when he walked into Bryan’s bunk only to witness the Tiffany/Bryan hookup in full swing! I don’t know about you, but I AM LOVING THIS!
On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, a smitten Danny Zureikat tries his hand at writing poetry for the woman of his dreams – Tilted Kilt waitress and charter guest, Morgan. But CaptainMark Howard sees to it that his love drunk deck hand remembers he’s on this boat to play Gilligan, not Shakespeare. After making out in plain sight with Morgan at the beach, Danny is on even thinner ice with his crew, not to mention with First Mate Bryan Kattenburg. And Danny’s already got one strike against him from Captain Mark for bringing random girls aboard with co-conspirator (and slightly more mature) Bobby Giancola last week.
So, now what’s a horny deckhand to do? Well, for now, he’s got to steer clear of Jen Riservato, who’s stank attitude has put her at the top of Bryan’s sh*t list. But since Danny’s decided to break all rules of charter boundaries, Jen sees an opportunity to shine. She is the MVP in her own mind, lest we forget!
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Last night, it was all too much for resident horn dogDanny Zurelkat, who decided to break rank and get his smooch on with a charter guest. Danny and his trusty sidekick, Bobby Giancola, also though it was a good idea to bring girls on board after their inebriated night out on the town! It’s time for this week’s installment of Below Deck Mediterranean, Jersey Shore style.
Despite the desperate pleas of Julia D’Albert-Pusey to think twice on an idiotic move, the Danny and Bobby manage to drag a few falling down drunk women back to the hot tub of shame for a nightcap. But Captain Mark Howard doesn’t take too kindly to this crew-on-civilian canoodling, laying blame squarely on the shoulders of their superior, First Mate Bryan Kattenburg. Bryan’s in charge of the whole boat, remember? It’s HIS fault!