On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, a smitten Danny Zureikat tries his hand at writing poetry for the woman of his dreams – Tilted Kilt waitress and charter guest, Morgan. But CaptainMark Howard sees to it that his love drunk deck hand remembers he’s on this boat to play Gilligan, not Shakespeare. After making out in plain sight with Morgan at the beach, Danny is on even thinner ice with his crew, not to mention with First Mate Bryan Kattenburg. And Danny’s already got one strike against him from Captain Mark for bringing random girls aboard with co-conspirator (and slightly more mature) Bobby Giancola last week.
So, now what’s a horny deckhand to do? Well, for now, he’s got to steer clear of Jen Riservato, who’s stank attitude has put her at the top of Bryan’s sh*t list. But since Danny’s decided to break all rules of charter boundaries, Jen sees an opportunity to shine. She is the MVP in her own mind, lest we forget!
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Last night, it was all too much for resident horn dogDanny Zurelkat, who decided to break rank and get his smooch on with a charter guest. Danny and his trusty sidekick, Bobby Giancola, also though it was a good idea to bring girls on board after their inebriated night out on the town! It’s time for this week’s installment of Below Deck Mediterranean, Jersey Shore style.
Despite the desperate pleas of Julia D’Albert-Pusey to think twice on an idiotic move, the Danny and Bobby manage to drag a few falling down drunk women back to the hot tub of shame for a nightcap. But Captain Mark Howard doesn’t take too kindly to this crew-on-civilian canoodling, laying blame squarely on the shoulders of their superior, First Mate Bryan Kattenburg. Bryan’s in charge of the whole boat, remember? It’s HIS fault!
All aboard! Last week’s debut of Below Deck Mediterranean introduced us to a brand new cast (with the exception of chef Ben Robinson), and set the stage for semi-rough waters ahead. Last seen, chief stew Hannah Ferrier was schlepping all over the stunning Greek isle of Paros searching in vain for a Pittsburgh Steelers game. No, that is not a Mad Libs sentence – that is the sad, sad truth. Why is she on this fool’s errand? Because the trashy yacht guests demand it!
The question these charter guests may want to ask themselves is: selves, why have we traveled to the Greek Isles in the midst of football season? Especially if we’re swearing that we’ve “never missed a Steelers game” in our itty bitty lives? Alas, these questions aren’t the ones being asked. Instead, the guests turn their wrath on Hannah, who tells them they have no chance of finding a Steelers game on this island. Her last hope lies with Captain Mark Howard, who is still trying to get the game to stream on the ship. (This is literally what the guests/staff/captain are obsessed with? THEY ARE IN PARADISE!!! Pfffffffffftt…Steelers.)
Sound the foghorns, for Below Deck has officially been franchised!
WithBelow Deck: Mediterranean, we’re treated to the stuff we’ve grown to love (crew hookups, obnoxious guests) in a new corner of the world – the Greek Isles! Besides the scenery’s obvious eye candy, Bravo has assembled a hot new international crew, including Captain Mark Howard, to navigate these waters. Returning fan favorite (or maybe I just speak on behalf of my own shameless crush!) Chef Ben Robinson is back to see how far he can take in on-board shenanigans without breaking too many hearts along the way.
Joining Captain Mark and Ben are new cast and crew mates Hannah Ferrier (Chief Stew), Julia D’Albert-Pusey (2nd Stew), Tiffany Copeland (3rd Stew), Bryan Kattenburg (1st Mate), Bobby Giancola, Danny Zurelkat, and Jen Riservato (Deckhands).
With less than a week to until the premiere of Below Deck Mediterranean, Bravo celebrated with a big bash last night in NYC. The cast members partied it up with some of our other favorite Bravolebrities.
Good news – maybe?! – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has already been renewed. Bad news – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast won’t change much for season seven. Why can’t we have nice things?
Earlier today, Bravo announced the six new and fourteen returning shows that will fill its summer and fall schedules. Obviously, RHOBH is on the list for fall. It will be a while before the cast is set in stone and revealed; however, when a fan tweeted @ Andy Cohen that Lisa Rinna, Yolanda Foster, Erika Girardi, and Eileen Davidson must go, he replied, “No way!”
Are y’all still with me? If you haven’t taken a sledgehammer to your phone/tablet/computer because of Andy‘s bad judgementTweet, look below to find out what other questionable choices goodies Bravo has in store for viewers.
I’m not trying to wish away the year, but I am certainly ready for spring and summer. Luckily for me, the high today in Charleston is a sunny 80 degrees, and Bravo’s line-up is heating up as well! Not only is my guiltiest pleasure, Southern Charm (more on that in the coming days!), premiering on April 4th, Chef Ben Robinson is returning with a new crew (and a new locale) for Below Deck Mediterranean which starts on May 3rd.
Keeping with Bravo’s trusted boating formula of mixing hot crazy people and lots of alcohol in confined spaces, the fresh yachties will face hook-ups and high maintenance charter guests against the gorgeous backdrop of the Greek islands, including Santorini and Mykonos. Ben will be the only familiar face, and I’ll certainly miss Captain Lee, the Stud of the Sea, but I can’t wait!
“He’s Captain Lee (Captain Lee, Captain Lee), when you crew for him, you’re working hard as can be. Fool around, you’ll scrub the decks till three. He’s rough. He’s tough. He’s alpha to a tee. Captain Lee…he’s the stud of the sea!” Can I get an “AMEN”?!?
We learned a lot of juicy little secrets on the final installment of the Below Deck reunion, didn’t we? Captain HAROLD Lee Rosbach? Respect! The reunion begins where last week’s left off…galley-gate! Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow is still accusing Kate Chastain of boozing on the clock when the fire started, and Captain Lee reminds her that former chef Leon “Beef Cheeks” Walker said she was and then admitted that she wasn’t. One way or another, he was lying. Amy Johnson skirts Andy Cohen’s direct question as to whether she’s ever seen Kate drinking on charter by responding that she thinks all of the finger pointing is petty. Andy drops the subject and moves onto my favorite Bravo promo in the history of television. Lee jokes that his wife “has gotten a lot of mileage” out of his “alpha to a tee” persona, and the crew reveals he’s a bit of a celebrity…and his first name is actually Harold, which Andy never knew. Lee’s plethora of colorful metaphors is revisited, with “when you get caught with your tit in the ringer” being everyone’s new favorite. Rocky accuses the Captain of showing support to his chief stew and head bosun, but Amy disagrees. She believes he is there for his entire crew, and Lee is quick to respond he’d lay the smack down on anyone–even Eddie Lucas–if he thought it was necessary.