Below Deck

Below Deck Mediterranean Season Finale recap

It’s been quite the charter season for the cast of Below Deck Mediterranean but alas, it had to end somewhere. While I was just as happy as the crew to see Danny Zureikat finally get sent home for his unprofessionalism, I will miss playing the Danny Drinking Game, which is to take one shot of ouzo every time Danny is rubbing elbows with the guests instead of doing work. The good news is, I’m totally sober for this recap so let’s get to it.

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Bobby-Giancola-Hannah-Ferrier-Drinking-Dark-Below-Deck-Mediterranean

If you have been keeping up with Below Deck Mediterranean, you probably know what Bobby Giancola’s most regrettable moment is from the show. Sure, the whole cast has had some pretty embarrassing moments this season – especially when there was alcohol involved, but Bobby really took things to the next level during the latest episode.

Things got out of hand when Bobby disobeyed the captain’s orders by bringing a lady back to the yacht for a hook up.

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Below Deck Mediterranean recap

You know, this charter from hell may have lasted mere days for the crew of Below Deck Mediterranean, but it has lasted nearly A MONTH for viewers. We deserve a night off! As the upright apes and their female companions prepare to depart the Ionian Princess, everyone has been driven to the brink of insanity. Well, everyone except Danny Zureikat, who prefers to drive the insanity bus rather than get hit by it!

Julia D’Albert Pusey is feeling socio-economically oppressed by Ben Robinson (or rather, by everything Ben represents). Hannah Ferrier has plastered on a fake smile to appease the horrific guests. And Bobby Giancola and Bryan Kattenburg are watching A Perfect Murder on repeat, hoping to glean tips. They, along with just about everyone else, are done with Daniel-san.

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Ben-Robinson-Blue-Bandana-Tears-Below-Deck-Mediterranean

The charter from hell continues on Below Deck Mediterranean as Hannah Ferrier tries to bury her rage about the middle aged frat party that has come aboard the Ionian Princess. Last seen, Hannah was being told by Captain Mark Howard that the disgusting guests were extending their charter, and that they didn’t want to see, smell, or hear Hannah for the remainder of the trip! Hannah is disappointed in herself for allowing her emotions to get the better of her, but agrees that shoving Tiffany Copeland and Julia D’Albert-Pusey into the line of fire from here on in is their best survival tactic. They will be put on service, leaving Hannah in the background to ponder what it truly means to be in the “service industry.” 

Somehow, these guests have gotten even more needy and obnoxious since the last episode. Are they taking the same douche-pills Bryan Kattenburg is prescribed? Poor Julia has been relegated to Head Drink Wench, a role that has her literally sprinting up and down stairs frantically balancing trays of vodka and used cocktail straws like she’s in some twisted American Ninja Waitstaff challenge. As she slings drinks and munchies at the ravenous, slobbering guests, they insult her and whine incessantly about how slow the service is, how loooooong they have to wait for their drinks, and (their only accurate point) how much the yacht staff hate their sorry asses. The primary snarks, “They hate us cuz they ain’t us!”

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Below Deck Mediterranean Recap

Thanks to Karen for writing the recaps these past two weeks while I was on vacation! As my family and I enjoyed the sun and sea of the Caribbean, I tried to avoid the incessant forced fun that our resort staff was serving up. I’ll admit though, as I heard the strained shrieks from staff to “shake that booty!” by the pool bar, I wondered if Danny Zureikat was on the microphone? Because he would have been the MVP of that scene, FO SHO.

After catching up on these last weeks’ shows, it looks like Danny has been sent to his room without phone privileges. And he is running a fever. How…fitting. Meanwhile, it looks like Hannah Ferrier is clinging to any port in a storm – namely, Julia D’ Albert-Pusey’s castoff, the eternally goofy Bobby Giancola – after being summarily rejected by Ben Robinson. I also gather that Bryan Kattenburg is still in First Place for Most Obnoxious Human (a close race, with this bunch!). So, for the motley crew of Below Deck Mediterranean, all is as it should be! 

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Danny Zureikat fired

It’s no secret that the cast members on Below Deck Mediterranean cannot stand Danny Zureikat. On one hand, he does seem like a pretty annoying person to spend an extended period of time with. On the other hand, the rest of the staff is super uptight and not at all fun, so I’m sure it has to drive him a little crazy to be around them. 

Plus, I’m sure it kills everyone that the more they hate Danny, the more the charter guests love him. And in all honesty there would be no show if it wasn’t for Danny constantly annoying everyone. For that reason alone the staff should be thankful that he is present, but that is really not how they feel at all.

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Below Deck Mediterranean Recap

Last week on Below Deck Mediterranean, Deckhand Danny Zureikat continued his quest to rub every last crew member the wrong way and this time, it was Chief Stewardess, Hannah Ferrier.

We jump right back into where we left off, with Hannah storming off from dinner and her fight with Danny and Julia d’Albert Pusey running after her.

When she finally catches up, Hannah expresses how upset she is that Chef Ben Robinson never sticks up for her. When everyone gets back to the ship, Hannah requests to speak with Ben outside and wants to define if they are work colleagues or friends. He dances around giving a specific answer and a tearful Hannah has nothing left to do but go to bed.

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Danny Zureikat

After rough waters between First Mate Bryan Kattenburg and misguided gnome of a Deckhand Danny Zureikat, we are being treated to some beach sun and fun with the horny charter guests of the moment on Below Deck Mediterranean. Fellow Deckhand Bobby Giancola and Danny have been invited to join the all-male guests to party on the beach and compete to see who can kiss a bar-dancing girl first. You would think I’m making this up, but I can assure you, I’m not. Bobby makes a sad/valiant attempt but is shot down. Danny scores by jumping on the bar and joining her and is rewarded with an awkward kiss on the cheek, which is all this poor girl could muster.

Back on the Ionian Princess, Chief Stewardess Hannah Ferrier isn’t feeling well but won’t let her pride or a migraine take her away from her duties! Deckhand Jen Riservato tries in vain to please an unimpressed Bryan with her window cleaning abilities. Hannah is busy calling Danny but to no avail because Danny is knee deep in women, hopping around them like a coked up elf. He finally calls back to Hannah to let them know they are coming back with the guests for dinner, plus 8 random women.

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