We rejoin Below Deck Mediterranean and the crew of the Sirocco in the midst of an anchor crisis. It’s been nine hours and they are still toiling away at trying to untangle their hopelessly twisted anchor. But Wesley Wiz Walton isn’t going to give up and poof! he manages to save the day (and the charter season) by setting the anchor free! Captain Sandy Yawn is thrilled and she’s not the only one. This is just one big turn on for the most eligible bachelorette on the Mediterranean: Deckhand Malia White.
Problem solving skills are sexy and Malia can’t help but swoon over Wiz coming to the boat’s rescue. That’s bad news for resident goon Bobby Giancola, who lost major points given his lack of simple math and not being able to stay calm under pressure. Of course he doesn’t know he didn’t really have a chance with Malia to begin with but that goes back to those math skills – if one sexy deckhand has two good looking crew members chasing after her and one giant ball of steroids that drunkenly yells at other women for c*ck blocking him, how many possible suitors does the sexy deckhand have left? Bobby is decidedly out of the equation.
There are so many boating metaphors we can use when it comes to Below Deck Mediterranean but I’m going to skip those for now and draw on an analogy of sorts to describe this episode: above deck on the Sirocco, everything looks perfect and pretty but just below water, trouble is lurking. I’m not just talking about the rising tension (both sexual and otherwise) between the crew, I’m also talking about the yacht itself, which is experiencing problem after problem (after problem). First, the Sirocco was drifting too close to the rocky shoreline, putting to boat in harm’s way, along with everyone on it.This episode, it’s the anchor chain that has twisted to the point of no return.
But before we tackle the anchor problem, we still have to fix the original issue in progress, which is the yacht drifting into the rocks. The wind has picked up and Captain Sandy Yawn can’t deny that they are getting closer and closer to the rocky shoreline, which makes for great scenery, but would be really bad to get too close to (which is kind of how I view Chef Adam Glick).
Bobby Giancola sure has a lot to say about his epic display of immaturity on Below Deck Mediterranean lately! He has taken his fight to twitter to defend his honor – or lack thereof. After facing off with Hannah Ferrieron land and on sea (otherwise known as the Watch What Happens Live clubhouse and a yacht, respectively), Bobby is a wee bit irate with people not knowing “the full story.” Which would make him look less like a horse’s a$$, one presumes? Tell us more about this “full story,” Bob!
After Lauren Cohenwouldn’t come to Bobby’s defense this week in backing up his claims that Hannah “c*ck blocks” him, twitter peeps wondered why Bobby has to be so aggressively sexual with everyone in his path? Bobby fired back online, claiming, “It’s a figure of speech. I chose a poor group of words in the moment. What I meant was that she consistently tells women to back away from me.”
Last week’s episode of Below Deck Mediterranean showed us why a crew of young, good looking people who like to hook up with one another makes for great reality TV. We rejoin the Sirocco mid-blow up, with Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier and Deck Hand Bobby Giancola, continue to go toe-to-toe over what essentially boils down to a really bad case of blue balls for the night. That’s right, Viewers, they are drunkenly fighting over whether or not Hannah ruined Bobby’s chances of possibly hooking up with fellow Deck Hand Malia White.
Ahhh, this reminds me of the good ole days when I was young and carefree, going out and getting wasted with my friends on the Croatian coastline and then coming back to the yacht and arguing about who I get to hook up with. Oh wait, sorry, no that wasn’t me, because that isn’t a real problem or a real lifestyle that anyone can relate to so can these guys please spare me of all the dramatics? I know, I know, I sound bitter and I guess I am but I would like to move on from something so silly at this point. But alas, if we moved on, there wouldn’t be much for Bobby to throw a fit about and BOY, is he ever throwing a fit. My man Bobby really needs to get laid because he is just not letting this issue go and he’s still grumbling about it the next morning.
Whether you love watching Kate Chastain on Below Deck or you can’t stand her, you have to admit that she’s interesting. Kate always has a lot to say on everything…and everyone. She has had her fair share of drama with her fellow cast members, but she actually keeps in touch with most of them- even her former flame Ben Robinson.
Despite all the drama Below Deck Mediterranean was teasing at the end of last week’s premiere, I still expected at least a few more episodes of smooth sailing until we saw anything major happen between the crew. But this week blew that assumption right out of the water as we were treated to Bobby Giancola’s weird game of cat and mouse with pretty much anyone who has a vagina.
Lord help you if Bobby has you in his sights because he will latch on like the overly tattooed python he is and attempt to squeeze every last ounce of refusal out of you and make you his woman. The only lady willing to stand up to this menacing goon is Chief Steward and defender of helpless female deckhands everywhere, Hannah Ferrier. Say what you want about Hannah being stuck up or annoying, when it comes to helping a sister out, she is right there, ready for battle like Wonder Woman (in a yachting outfit).
Below Deck Mediterranean is sailing into its second week with first female leader, Captain Sandy Yawn, at the helm – and she doesn’t plan on taking flack from anyone! That didn’t stop some of her new crew from questioning her right out of the gate, however. Captain Sandy says getting push-back early on is par for the course, though, and plans to lead by example to keep them in line.
Yawn explains her strategy: “Being a female captain in this industry is challenging and inspiring because I thrive on problem solving. Being a woman in the male dominated yachting world is an advantage due to my ability to multi task while managing the emotions of the crew. I choose not to come from a place of power and control and it really, really works.”