Are y’all as glad as I am that the circus we watched in the form of the finale of the Mob Wives reunion is finished? Get it together, Vivica Fox! You’re not part of the cast (although, check her out in that action shot–gotta love Viv!)! After her Twitter war last week where she joined forces with the veteran ladies against Natalie Guercio, I was a tad curious to see what would unfold…until my very exhausted brain realized that the entire reunion was actually filmed before that happened. Oops. Oh well! I was still anxious to see what would unfold after the insanity of part one. At least it opened with a bleeping, bleepity, bleep montage the the dicks and dildos (the things you can now say on television!) that came out of Drita D’avanzo’s mouth throughout the season. It didn’t feel right typing that, I’ll be honest. A blushing Drita is mortified by her mouth, and she admits that “pickles” is her safe word when her oldest daughter catches her cursing like a $%*&$% fool.
Getting into the meat of the series, Renee Graziano’s early season rocky relationships with Big Ang and Drita are highlighted, followed by forgiving Delicious Natalie and her decision to let go and let God. A tearful Renee is upset that she harbored so much hatefulness in her heart, and she apologizes for hurting her friends. Drita admits that she still likes Renee, but she didn’t how she was behaving for the first part of the season. Natalie wishes they had buried their issues earlier but knows they both are too stubborn for that to have happened. Now, Renee is in a good place. One “you go, girl” from Vivica, and we’re treated to an video introduction of Natalie DiDonato, aka, New Natalie, aka Nat D, aka Natalie 2.0, aka Fraudalie (not to be confused with Ratalie, of course!).
Karen Gravano announced on twitter that Natalie is “not on the show anymore” after being caught making racist comments. Giving further credence to the rumor, Natalie D retweeted, “Im surprised nat g hasnt been on here crying abt how she got fired…the way she conducts herself on twitter u wld think she b popping off.”
Holy cleavage! The first installment of last night’s Mob Wives reunion was a giant boob parade. Vivica Fox hosts, and I’m hoping she has a better handle on these broads than she did on Krayonce. Drita D’avanzo is the only one who doesn’t look like she’s hosting Kim Kardashian’s ass on her chest. Natalie Guercio is wearing what can only be described as a chain metal gladiator suit complete with suspenders to cover her nips. She claims it’s her warrior look, but she’s not going to be fighting anyone when she has to constantly fiddle with her hands to keep her girls from warranting their own black bar. Renee Graziano is sporting a boot-cast on her foot, and she jokes that Drita finally came after her. Oh, if only the whole reunion could be this cheery!
Karen Gravano’s return is addressed, and Renee admits that it was nice to have some support after feuding with her other friends. Natalie cites her loyalty to last season’s Alicia as the reason for her social media beef. Karen finds it ridiculous that Alicia is so upset that her father killed the father-in-law she never met. Yeah, that’s fair, right? Karen knows that these mob wannabes are just trying to ride her big Mafia coattails. Renee reminds us that you can be loyal to one friend without trashing another, but the wannabes will never be “about this life,” a phrase which may need its own t-shirt line (if one of the ladies hasn’t already beat me to it). Again, remind why these family ties are worthy of such pride? Renee can’t even. Literally.
On Monday, 1.55 million checked out the season finale of Vanderpump Rules, and a little over 1.3 million stuck around to see the season premiere of Shahs of Sunset. See the numbers below to see how the rest of the shows are doing.
All season, the women of Mob Wives have been gearing up for one final brawl, and last night? Well, clearly VH1’s attorneys have added some air-tight anti-violence clauses to their contracts since mid-season. Was that the finale? I am so confused. There were no previews for next week, but there was also no resolution. I’m exhausted trying to keep up with the Natalies.
Big Ang is hosting Renee Graziano at her home, and both ladies are happy they are in a better place after their knock-down-drag-out regarding Renee’s comment amount Natalie Guercio and the coke laced dollar bill. Ang is happy to see that Renee seems committed to her positive streak. Both women find it strange that Drita D’avanzo didn’t attend Renee’s spiritual rebirth, and Ang admits she hasn’t heard a peep from the friend she usually talks to several times a day. Renee wants to focus on the good and she’s ready to throw a big party. She hopes all of the ladies will come and be on their best behavior…because that always happens with this crew. She’ll remind Karen Gravano to keep it classy. Of course, if original Natalie wants to confront Natalie DiDonato about their beef, Renee will kindly step aside so the Natalies can handle their business like cage fighters.
In reality TV viewing this week, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hillscontinued to decrease, not quite hitting a season low (1.35 million) but landing at only 1.6 million nonetheless. And several other shows also saw a slight drop, as well.
With 70% of the country buried in snow and in a deep freeze, you’d think that more people would be indoors by the fireplace binge watching trash TV!
Check out how your favorites fared this week! And tell us below why you think some aren’t gaining back audiences?
Were you prepared for that little twist on last night’s Mob Wives? Fraudalie? Ratalie? Who to believe? Why do they even care? That’s the biggest mystery! As the episode begins, Natalie Guercio is meeting Drita D’avanzo for lunch. Did Drita borrow that third eye cut-out sweatshirt from Tamra Judge? Big Ang arrives very fashionably late in long white coat that looks like it was stolen from a 70’s pimp or that abominable claymation creature in that Christmas show about the Land of the Misfit Toys. Is that Alpaca? Ang is rehashing the holiday party and how much Natalie DiDonato gets on her nerves. All Nat D. wants to do is bitch about First Natalie. Does she ever ask anything about Ang’s life? No. Ang doesn’t have time for that, and she reveals that New Natalie now has beef with Drita. She wants to talk to Drita about her inability to choice sides. No one likes a fence straddler.
Speaking of sides, the battle lines are clearly drawn as Karen Gravano and Renee Graziano convene at Fraudalie’s house to complain about Ratalie. Of course, everyone wants to discuss why Drita wasn’t in attendance at Natalie 2.0’s party. What’s with her loyalty to Original Natalie? Nat D. believed that Drita was no nonsense, but she’s clearly a flip-flopper. Renee admits that she’s finally in a good place with everyone and her friends can work out their issues on their own time. Finally, Renee is speaking some sense! Karen and New Natalie bond over how tough it can be to have younger boyfriends. Natalie finally had to ditch hers because he was too thirsty with other girls and she tended to get violent when they fought. She’s glad that’s over with, for sure! On cue, her ex-boyfriend bursts into the backyard and accuses her of lying to him. As they scream at each other, New Natalie starts pushing him and threatening him. Renee halfheartedly yells “you shouldn’t be doing this” from across the deck. After seeing Natalie D. go after her boyfriend, Renee is a tad worried about Drita, who is usually considered the fighter of the group. She may have some competition!