Things begin with yet another fight about Melissa Gorga allegedly cheating on Joe Gorga. I was rolling my eyes and guzzling my wine with my Milania Hair Care Hairmuffs on so I really don't know what that man was yammering on about. I was all prepared to throw my wine glass at the TV in my own Incredible Hulk Man-angsty moment when Bravo flashed us back 12 hours earlier.
And I really wish I had been prepared with my blinders on! We are greeted by Poison grinding his junk in Melissa's face. 'Happy Birthday baby – just call me Justin Timberlake cause I got you some d*ck in a box!' Melissa is like 'Where? I don't see it… Oh. Yeah that little guy. Awwww… thanks… Hi TUHREEEZA!" If I got Poison's junk in my face for a birthday gift I would cancel birthdays for the rest of my life. And Melissa had never been so happy to see her sister-in-law.
Danielle Staub stopped by the Watch What Happens Live clubhouse tonight to dish with Andy Cohen and it was almost as good as if Kim Granatell was on! Danielle shared her love for Teresa Giudice, her loathing of the other housewives, including sharing just how Melissa Gorga landed a spot on the show! Danielle also shared that she's shooting a new reality show!
Andy kicked off the show irritating Danielle by mentioning Kim G. Trust us, we know how much she despises Kim G. Danielle blocked us on Twitter for just for saying we wished that Danielle and Kim G would be on a show together. We meant it to be fun but she wasn't having it.
Her thoughts on Teresa's federal indictment charges: "I feel bad for them. They're people, they're family and you know things that are very bad are happening to them, so it would be really wrong of anyone to enjoy that."
In the preview clip, we see Joe Gorga sucking on Melissa's toes as Teresa walks in their room at the Miraval spa in Arizona (yes, we're stillllll there!!). Teresa gifts Melissa with a pair of black lace underwear with a peace sign bedazzled on the crotch for her birthday present. Ya know, because there's peace in Jersey now.
Melissa shared a photo of the moving truck in the driveway. She wrote, "It's been a long 2 days.. 12 hrs yesterday & still going strong. Can't believe it's actually happening." There probably wasn't too much to pack as that house was pretty empty for its massive size! Which I'm not knocking – I'm all about less is more. I hate "stuff", so I'm a minimalist when it comes to that.
The Gorgas hit spent their Labor Day weekend at their Jersey Shore house before heading home to Montville to pack up and finalize things. The couple is now renting a place in a Franklin Lakes and are reportedly planning to build a new mansion. She can furnish it with her new home decor line, right?
There are still some disputes over the selling price of the home and questions about whether or not the Gorgas owned or rented it. We've been checking every day, but so far the closing and sale price haven't been updated on the government site. We'll keep you posted!
The couple was slated to stand trial in Newark, NJ on October 8th, but now will appear in court on February 24, 2014! Joe is already standing trial in October for his fake ID trial, the judge opted to push his other fraud trial back as lawyers for both sides petitioned for a continuance.
NorthJersey.com reports that the charges of assault and terroristic threats have been adjourned and will no longer go before a criminal court judge. Instead the trial will be heard in municipal court on September 26th.
The case against Johnny, filed as a result of charges being pressed by Jacqueline, Chris, and Joe, will also be adjourned and held in municipal court.
Yesterday the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion taped for an EPIC 15 hours! Seriously – is there enough booze in the world for that group to last that long?
We had thought an apocalypse came and claimed Franklin Lakes, NJ since no one was tweeting all day yesterday. Naturally we assumed Jacqueline Laurita had been nabbed by aliens, right? Nope – she was just being quarantined on a sound stage by Bravo. Luckily today she returned, tweeting: "Yesterday was a great day but VERY long!"
Teresa Giudice allegedly brought her attorney to the taping. A girl can never be too prepared! “Teresa wants to clear her name, but she’s extremely limited in what she can talk about,” a source told Wetpaint. “It’s very frustrating to her.”
Sunday and Monday night viewer ratings are in! And unsurprisingly the holiday weekend put a little damper on reality TV guilty pleasures – especially if you happened to be doing a little equine therapy on Real Housewives of New Jersey.
The former ratings powerhouse for Bravo again took a hit with only 1.8 million viewers bothering to tune in – that's down majorly from last week! Listen – we have enough of our own family problems to continually focus on the Gorgadices! Keeping Up With The Kardashians continued to hold strong, although it took a slight hit dropping to 2.3 million viewers this week.