Andy brings up the ignorant comment David Foster made to Lisa followingYolanda Foster‘s explant surgery: “Ken has better tits than her now… bigger.” Lisa defends David, saying, “I think David tries to make light of everything and he was just kind of throwing some levity into what has been a pretty depressing situation.”
On whether or not David and Yolanda‘s split took her by surprise, Lisa says, “I didn’t see it coming. Not at all. I was absolutely blindsided by that. There was a lot of ‘my love’ and I know it’s been challenging for sure but I’m really sad to see it because I love them together as a couple.”
Is it just me, or is Kristen Doute actually sounding more and more…sane lately? Maybe it’s the therapy. Maybe it’s the blessed lack of James Kennedy in her life. But whatever it is, Kristen seems to be making sense these days when it comes to her take on the cast of Vanderpump Rules, and where she hopes to fit within it.
In her blog this week, Kristen reacts to Jax including James on the Hawaii trip after he’d initially banned him from going. “I’ve seen a lot of growth in Jax lately and I attribute a lot of that to him dating Brittany [Cartwright]. Whether or not I could go to Hawaii, I know Jax didn’t want James on his birthday trip. Jax should have been allowed a veto if [Tom] Sandoval was, but Jax also knew throwing a fit about it wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It’s not that he gave in, he just knew it wasn’t worth being an issue and letting it bother him.”
Last night on Vanderpump Rules there were boobs, butts, and bad friends galore. You know, the usual!
It’s official I cannot stand Scheana Marie! Her ‘Nu-Stassi‘ routine is pathetic; she’s a totally disloyal, whiny, shit-stirring, biatch who needs to stop taking makeup tips from My Little Pony. Lord with those false eyelashes – you could practically fly with those things! In fact maybe that’s an idea – fly, fly away, Scheana. Take Kristen Doute with you.
Tom 2 and Katie Maloney are celebrating their engagement, which included burned taquitos sexytimes. Stassi Schroeder sent Katie a phony text congratulating her and whining that she wasn’t a part of it. Poor Stassi – she ditched all her friends but now is sad they don’t like her anymore. Poor Little Bitch Girl Problems!
Andy asks Kristen if she wants to say anything about Lala Kent‘s “less than” comments about James Kennedy‘s penis. “I think Lala would go for anything with a man situation, regardless of shape, size, or color.”
Next topic, Jax Taylor, who poops (this week) and lies (every week) on camera. Andy wonders if he’s passive aggressively trying to getBrittany Cartwright to regret moving in with him. “I know a couple of the episodes have bothered her,” says Scheana. “I do not keep my mouth shut <understatement of the century> so I give her a head’s up on everything.”
“Ariana and I have a big disagreement unfortunately,” admits Scheana – but it’s SOOOO not Scheana’s fault! “You have to keep watching before you get mad at me and call me a horrible best friend” she warns. “It’s frustrating when you don’t get the whole story.” Best friend? I’m not even sure I’d call Scheana a friend at all at this point?
Shannon had some fun making a custom pair of DSW Converse sneakers with a wave print for husband David. She revealed that he has taken up surfing as a new hobby. Scheana Marie went with a feather design for her Converse. Scheana also stopped by the Marc Jacobs Beauty suite for some make-up touch ups. See the pics of the ladies below.
Noting he had to “Schwartzify” his proposal setup, which included a fake proposal before the real deal went down, Tom explains, “Key elements to the proposal were surprise, not just for Katie but for everyone present, the perfect ring, great friends and a little quirk with the decoy proposal. The ring was really my anchor though. My ace in the hole. Even if I would have completely botched the proposal, the ring was so perfect that I couldn’t have failed.”
In cold hard realities, the “A” Tom 1 drunkenly tattooed on his ass stands for Adulting. Tom 1 spent 15 drunken minutes getting inked, but now wants his 15 minutes back. Ariana Madix escorts him to Dat Tat Off, the world’s most professional tattoo removal parlor, which is coincidentally managed by Kristen Doute‘s Machiavellian friend, who happens to be wearing black and white stripes. Tom 1 – forever imprisoned by Kristen somehow! Tom went there in the hopes of getting a ‘friend-ish’ discount.
If they were a movie, it would be called, She’s [He’s] Just Not That Over You (The Tom and Kristen forever dysfunction story). True to form, Kristen’s friend is eager to view the self-inflicted damage Ariana caused Tom to enact.