Vanderpump Rules

kristen doute blue dress ok magazine so sexy party

We can always count Vanderpump Rules for drama. At the center of the crazy is almost always Kristen Doute, but moving into the forefront this season is Katie Maloney. Despite the backlash, Kristen isn’t backing down from admitting the insanity – yeah, it’s real and authentic! 

While home for the holidays, Kristen appeared on a local news show, wearing what can only be explained as dressing drunk, and she talked about how this season has been going and her advice for dealing with difficult work environments (don’t let your ex’s current girlfriend work with you too!). 

Kristen says one thing that makes filming the show so stressful is the the public knows where to find them, because as part of appearing on the show they must actually work at SUR! And that’s not the only thing that’s real – all of the drama is authentic too. 

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kristen doute confronts tom sandoval at SUR

Does denial grow on trees in sunny California? What about psychosis? I mean, it must, right if  Vanderpump Rules is any indication of life in LA. Last night Katie Maloney had an awakening and Tom Sandoval had a’shakening when he realized that Kristen Doute really is stalking him and he is going to end up the subject of a cautionary tale seen on Lifetime. Hey – I’d watch, but only if they cast an actor with better hair. 

Lisa Vanderpump is swanning around Villa Blanca, pruning roses, whistling while she works, conversing with birds when one of her 7 gnomes – Sleazy – arrives. Jax Taylor is just hoping for some free food – and some permission to start “banging” the new hostess Vail. Lisa immediately attempts to put the breaks on that notion by snipping the pruning sheers near Jax’s poker. 

Before Lisa even has the opportunity to take off her transparent unicorn leather gardening gloves (special edition Gucci), gnome 2 – Sniffly – arrives to burst in to tears. Katie blames being allergic to decent human beings and scents other than stale booze for her watery eyes. She tells Lisa that Tom 2 would rather have Jax in his life than Katie, but she doesn’t want to be alone. What if she turns into Kristen?!

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katie maloney benefit cosmetics black dress and boots

Katie Maloney recently did a Reddit Ask Me Anything where she answered questions about Vanderpump Rules, her complicated friendship with Stassi Schroeder, and how she feels about Tom Schwartz remaining friends with Jax Taylor despite his role in their cheating drama. 

First up, Katie tackled the confounding matter of Kristen “Kritter” Doute and the little train of crazy that keeps gaining steam. Katie says contrary to what Kristen believes, she doesn’t hate her over cheating scandals – it’s just everything else about her personality that sucks!

“I’m not holding a grudge or punishing Kristen for sleeping with Jax. Kristen really did make our lives hell at times, it was just not good. Unfortunately you don’t get to see all of that,” Katie explains. “I know that Kristen was hurt at the end of her and Tom [Sandoval]‘s relationship. I don’t think she was taking into consideration her part of the deterioration. I think that Tom is absolutely happy with Ariana and Kristen should try to find that for herself.” 

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lisa-vanderpump-stassi-schroeder

After all Lisa Vanderpump has done for ungrateful little wench Stassi Schroeder, she is furious that the former waitress turned wannabe grownup is insulting both her and SUR!

I don’t know why Lisa is surprised that Stassi is a self-righteous, egotistical, entitled brat – she’s been like that from her first minutes on Vanderpump Rules, but this season as Stassi has no storyline and is basically just roaming around the streets of LA interjecting into matters of SURver’s hearts for camera time, and Stassi is still complaining! Well, in fairness she doesn’t really have much else to do… except for that invisible boyfriend! 

Lisa recently commented on Stassi having a hard time accepting that she’s no longer relevant at SUR. “I think Stassi’s attidue is slightly ridiculous. I mean she comes in here now like Grace Kelly,” she said in her vlog. “Just a year ago, these were her best friends. She was the leader of this pack and suddenly not one of them is good enough for her?”

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Love & Hip Hop

This week’s reality TV viewer numbers are in. Season five of Love & Hip Hop New York premiered to 2.488 million. That’s down from last season’s average of 3.07 million viewers. Will L&HH viewership increase?

Vanderpump Rules and Mob Wives gained viewers this week. 1.232 million couldn’t resist the bunny boilers on Pump Rules and 1.106 million tuned in to see Karen and Natalie face off on Mob Wives.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kourtney & Khloe Take The Hamptons, and Real Housewives of Atlanta lost viewers this week. Yolanda dealing with Bella’s DUI on RHOBH garnered 1.709 million viewers, Kim and Kris bickering over a condo on Kourtney & Khloe attracted 1.465 million fans, and Todd and Kandi visiting NYC on RHOA logged 2.797 million viewers. 

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kristen doute cannot let go of tom sandoval

Last night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules reminded me of two classic movies that perfectly apply: Fatal Attraction and Dazed and Confused. 

Let’s start by examining the ulterior motives of Stassi “Free Ride” Schroeder. Stassi, quit SUR, moved away, started dressing the Jr. League vice president, and thinks that makes her a grownup. Sadly, she’s still loitering outside the gates of SUR, leaning against the bar with a pinot grigio, sighing, “This is what I love about these SUR bitches, I get more mature, but they just stay the same.” You know who I’m referencing!

Stassi needs a job – because she is bored of free riding her friends TV show, spending daddy’s money, and wearing that real live adult facade. Maturity is hard – especially when you really, really, really yearn to be back at SUR, causing drama, and bitchwhipping these pathetic losers into shape like Red Heather (since we’re going with old movie references! There’s pate, and croquet! And Kristen Doute is totally going to bomb the bleachers Ariana’s bar).

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OK! Magazine's pre-Grammy event

Jax Taylor started rumors about his friend Tom Schwartz cheating on his girlfriend, but now he’s annoyed that no one understands he was trying to help. He just wants Tom 2 to be happy, and to be free, and single and he knows that poor Tom 2 gets anxiety and doesn’t have the manly parts to breakup with Katie Maloney on his own! 

But Jax has another reason for spilling rumors – he’s totally tired of being the only person on Vanderpump Rules called out for cheating. You guys, he’s not the only villain on this show and it’s high time we all know the truth. When the word “truth” is used in the same sentence as Jax’s name, does some thing explode out there in the universe that none of us can see? 

“It’s so great that finally other people are cheating. It’s not just me anymore! I’m always this villain — but everything that I’ve done, they’ve all done,” Jax gloats.

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Love & Hip Hop Hollywood reunion

The reality TV viewer numbers are in. Love & Hip Hop Hollywood ended its first season with an average of 2.43 million viewers. 2.638 million watched part one of the reunion and 2.072 million checked out part two of the reunion.

Last week, the season premiere of Mob Wives attracted 1.161 million viewers, but only 835,000 came back for more drama this week. Real Housewives of Atlanta gained back a small amount of viewers this week. 3.062 million tuned in to see Kenya and Phaedra come face to face.

Also, 1.804 million watched Scott and Khloe’s podcast on Kourtney & Khloe Take The Hamptons, 1.138 million viewers sat through Katie grilling her co-workers about Tom on Vanderpump Rules, and 1.849 million tuned in to see Kyle and Yolanda vacation in Spain on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

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