Something curious has happened to Tom 1 over the course of Vanderpump Rules. He's grown from a boy to a man. He has freed himself from the shackles of Kristen Doute's psychotic tyranny and Stassi Schroeder's emotional manipulations and terrible party planning. He has flourished from a sad, aimless emotional wrecking ball to a proud manish metrosexual.
Last night Tom 1 let his anger roar as he took down Stassi, put Kristen in her place, and practically ground Jax Taylor's aging meathead under his boot heel. And never did a hair bend out of shape! Is Ariana Madix responsible for this surge in testosterone - as if releasing himself from Kristen has allowed Tom 1's poor shriveled manliness to blossom Phoenix-style.
Whatever – I was impressed. Take no prisoners Tom. Actually, no, do take Jax prisoner and lock him away from the rest of us because boy deserves to do hard time not these puny 'you can keep your designer sweater' jail stints!
Good gravy, Scheana Marie is quite a piece of work. The Vanderpump Rules waitress and sometimes pop star wannabe has certainly gotten down the rules of Bravolebrity as she dishes on her upcoming wedding. Will it be televised? Scheana hopes so! Someone call Andy Cohen!
Of course, Scheana is smart enough to know (did I just type that?) to scoff at the idea of a wedding spin-off…nice way to beat the network to the punch of NOT asking you to have one! In the wise words of Sweet Brown, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"
Stassi explains her plans for any possible return if there is a season 3 of the show, "I've moved to New York. I've been blogging for other sites and now I've been developing my own. I'm really excited about that. I'm working with different accessory and jewelry brands with styling. And that's where I'm at. I'm not gonna go waitress again. I'm kind of just doing me and doing what makes me happy. "
When she doesn't really answer about returning to the show, Andy says, "I hope we can figure out a way to see you back there somehow".
In other news it's Kristen's birthday today and what better birthday present is there than letting Stassi ruin your birthday by telling the whole world how much you suck on national TV. It's payback, right, for the horrible way Kristen destroyed Stassi's amazing birthday in Cabo!
After leaving her job as a cocktail slinging princess and relocating to NYC and landing a new man, rumor has it Stassi is angling to get a spinoff about trying to make it in fashion. In case you forgot, Stassi fancies herself a fashion writer – or she wants to be.
In her new blogStassi talks her decision to leave LA and SUR behind. "It was just my time to go," Stassi confirms. "Yes, I did disappear for a while, but I was professional and got all my shifts taken care of — and then went in to the office and turned in my uniforms to say I wouldn't be returning."
It's a well-established fact that Brandi Glanville never knows when to shut up – add a few glasses of vino to the mix and it's a really dire situation. This Monday, Brandi appeared on WWHL where she complained to her boss Andy Cohen that Vanderpump Rules is "scripted".
So, were y'all glued to the first half of the Vanderpump Rulesreunion like I was on Monday? Team U.S.A. who? Kidding!(?) I mean, season one, meh, season two, I'm an addict! Here are some things that I now know to be true (besides the obvious "Kristen Doute is totally insane" diatribe): Katie Maloney looks much better as a brunette (welcome back!), she's not featured enough on the show, and she is incredibly well-spoken. I'd also add that's she's a horrible drunk, but she addresses that ever so astutely in her Bravo blog this week. It's kind of long, so I left out her very level and kind words for Scheana Marie'shosting career and her opinions on Jax Taylor's sex addiction. However, I made sure to touch on her thoughts on her friendship with Stassi Schroeder and Kristen and Tom Sandoval's crazy dysfunctional relationship, . Seriously, am I the only one who is surprised by the level of maturity in Katie's blog?
She begins, "After everything that's happened, I don't think the vibe is any better at SUR. It's just different. Obviously with all the time that has past its allowed the dust to settle and lift the tension from the air. Whether or not Stassi was still working at SUR or not, it would still be the same. The dynamic has shifted big time and relationships have changed all for the better. I am thankful that all of us are able to be cordial and still work along side one another."