Vanderpump Rules

Scheana Marie Shay

I used to root for Katie Maloney to come out of Stassi Schroeder‘s shadow on Vanderpump Rules, but now that she has, she’s getting the mean girl edit as the new leader of the clique. Katie, Stassi, and Kristen Doute do not like LaLa Kent and they never have. So obviously they want to ostracize her to the point where it wouldn’t make sense for her to be in the cast and they can get LaLa off of (what they perceive to be) their show. And you know that squad was not going to tolerate Scheana Marie Shay being friendly with LaLa.

I can see why they wouldn’t want their friend to be friends with a woman that they have declared to be an enemy – but come on, LaLa is a SUR hostess and Scheana is a waitress, so they have to communicate every single time they’re at the restaurant. Why wouldn’t they just try to be pleasant when they interact? It doesn’t mean they have to be best friends, or even be friends at all, but having a civil rapport sounds better than being miserable every single shift. But maybe I’m just being too logical about this since Scheana seems to disagree.

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Vanderpump Rules - Season 5

Lala Kent sat down with Jenny McCarthy to dish on all things Vanderpump Rules – from accusing her castmates of trying to sabotage her career, to the rumors that she’s dating a married man, to why she believes Jax Taylor is unfaithful to Brittany Cartwright!

True to form, Lala doesn’t hold back and isn’t trying to win friends. Carry on then…

First Jenny wonders why the girls seem to have it out for Lala. She thinks they’re jealous because Lala is so pretty, and has a more successful career (she just wrapped filming on a movie with John Cusak and Nicholas Cage.)

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Scheana

High school… these problems matter! These people are in high school like the original cast of 90210 were. Meaning the “kids” on Vanderpump Rules are 30 going on 13, and it’s ridiculous.

Last night, Katie Maloney, Bridezilla of West Hollywood (she may actually just be straight up Godzilla at this point because she does seem to think she’s God), demanded Scheana Marie never, ever have an opinion contrary to Katie’s, like, ever again, and if Scheana does like ever, ever, ever deign to think for herself, she will be dumped like room temperature white wine.

Katie is the one who needs to be bumped – by Tom 2 and everyone else. She and Stassi Schroeder deserve each other.

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kristen-doute-wwhl

Vanderpump Rules star Kristen Doute and comedienne Vanessa Bayer were Andy’s guests tonight on WWHL. Kristen showed off her new veneers, talked about James Kennedy and continues to stand her ground on Lala Kent.

On James calling her a ‘special needs kid’ she says that it was offensive because Carter’s mom and sister are both special needs teachers.

Watch What Happens Live

Jax Taylor was a man on a mission – a mission to never get married. Until he met Brittany Cartwright, that is! Now Jax is changing his mind. A little opportunity called a ‘spin-off’ wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would it?

“Before Brittany I was not about marriage. I didn’t believe in marriage,” claims the perpetually cheating Vanderpump Rules star. Now Jax is not only faithful to Brittany (which is apparently more than she can say about herself!), he’s considering settling down for-ev-er.

Didn’t Jax profess his desire to marry Stassi Schroeder more than once? Apparently not, because no amount of love could convince Jax that marriage was for him.

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Tom Schwartz prank

When Tom Schwartz made a steak dinner for Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval on the last episode of Vanderpump Rules, it just seemed like he was doing a sweet gesture to ask them to be groomsmen in his wedding, but it was actually a nasty prank.

After Tom asked the guys to take part in the wedding, he handed them both big envelopes full of photos that revealed that the steak and shrimp they ate had previously been in-between his butt cheeks. As if that wasn’t gross enough Tom also revealed that he ran that day and did not shower. Eeeeww.

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kristen-stassi-katie

Kristen Doute is taking a stance on the important issues of our time and proposing a total ban on Lala Kent. I mean, a girls gotta take a stand for what she believes in.

Kristen feels the Vanderpump Rules cast’s decision to block Lala and James Kennedy is legit because they were never friends with them to begin with, and it’s not like worth their time to get to know them.

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Tom and Jax

Vanderpump Rules is having some sort of quarter life crisis. While Stassi Schroeder is playing the adoring sycophant, Katie Maloney is attempting to reinvent herself as season 1 and 2 Stassi. It’s a piss-poor imitation though because Katie lacks the razor-sharp edge and sheer cunning wit required to pull off Stassi-ness, not to mention Katie lacks the conviction with which Stassi conducted herself as empress of the skirtsteaks. Also Katie doesn’t own a statement necklace which is like the scrunchie of SUR.

Katie is a mere “Fetch,” trying to force herself to happen as the leader of the SUR tribe, except she’s nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing. And she needs to give Stassi back her fur.

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