Reality Tea

Alright, kiddos – sit down, get your Orange County oranges spiked with some champagne, and join us. We’ve got some Real Housewives of Orange County drama to report. Hot on the heels of a massively popular reunion – ratings wise, at least – the girls are still defending themselves in the press.

According to LALate News over 2.5M people tuned in to watch the ladies scream at each other while Andy Cohen got attacked by a bird. How’s that for pecking order?

First up, Slave Smiley took a break from running Grayson Entertainment to give an interview to Wetpaint. I hope he got compensated for it – he has child support to pay. Among the many scintillating details Slave revealed, the in-the-know and very busy working professional disclosed that Bravo is in the midst of making some changes to the cast!

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Say it ain’t so!  If Kris and Bruce Jenner can’t last, than by God, who can?  RadarOnline.com is reporting that the couple, who has been happily married for twenty-one years (not all of them on television, thankfully for us), is on the rocks since Kris has been in contact with former paramour Todd Waterman.  He may be the same dude with which she cheated on past husband Robert Kardashian.  I kid, he’s totes the same guy she seduced during her marriage to her eldest paychecks’ daughters’ father.

Bruce was allegedly devastated when he walked in on E!’s latest scripted scene his wife e-mailing the object of her former affair.  What Bruce doesn’t know, according to the site, is that Kris was planning a romantic meeting with her old flame.

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Former Celebrity Apprentice contestant and foul mouthed comedienne Lisa Lampanelli is reveling in some pretty kick-a$$ weight loss.  While appearing on Bethenny’s talk show, the funny lady explains that her decision to get weight loss surgery came on the heels of her husband’s discussion with RHONJ’s Albert Manzo.  As you all know, his daughter Lauren recently had a lap band procedure to aid in her weight loss.

Lisa reveals that she and her husband decided to get a gastric-sleeve surgery together together to improve their health, and after ten weeks, Lisa has lost an astonishing fifty pounds.  Her husband has lost thirty-six pounds in the two weeks after his surgery.  Of course.  Weight loss is always easier for the dudes, right?

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Those darn interwebs…they are full of spoilers, aren’t they?  Today’s news that you may not want to know?  Four former cast members are returning to Big Brother to play their own version of the game while “coaching” current houseguests.  The fourteenth season of the show premieres tonight!

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Evelyn Lozada just tweeted the first blurry photo of her wedding dress. The Basketball Wives star finally became a wife when she wed Chad Ochocinco on July 4th.

Evelyn had THREE different wedding outfits! Her wedding gown was surprisingly classy and traditional. The wedding was filmed for her upcoming spinoff Ev & Ocho.

THOUGHTS ON THE DRESS? 

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Intent to prove that not only does she throw birthday parties for her children, but her in-laws are always invited – Melissa Gorga went on a Jacqueline Laurita-style Twitter rampage with a barage of photos and tweets in response to our article yesterday.

A source told us Melissa never has lavish birthday parties for her kids – and never has any for the boys. Our source also shared that her in-laws weren’t invited to the party. Well, Melissa got out all her scrapbooks to prove our source wrong.

I feel kinda honored. I’m impressed Melissa reads Reality Tea. Thanks, Melis! I mean it.

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We’re down to the wire on Around the World in 80 Plates.  It was an episode with fewer “chefs” and fewer exotic locales the viewers don’t get to see enough of, in my opinion.  The contestants find themselves in Buenos Aires, Argentina for the next leg of their journey.

Before heading to Argentina, the chefs must break into two teams of two.  Avery Pursell, as the most valuable chef, gets to pick her partner, and she chooses her always ally Nookie Postal.  She knows just how strategic he can be.  That means that John Vermiglio and Liz Garrett will be paired together.  Nookie has an emotional phone call with his wife and kids before leaving Hong Kong.

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Tonight, dear readers, you're in for a treat – it's the motherload of Real Housewives of New Jersey posts! We've got it all, but most of all we've got salacious and gory EXCLUSIVES about whose living a lie on national TV. That would be all of them. Oh, we've also got more Caroline Manzo acting like a bulldog. It wouldn't be RHONJ without that!

First up, last week Melissa Gorga hosted a beautiful birthday party for her daughter Antonia. We all saw Melissa getting beautified for a six-year-old's birthday party and then strapping on her best hoochie heels. Melissa admitted that her daughter's parties are always a "lavish" affair.

Are they lavish enough for Kennedy Caroline Armstrong? Likely not. Watching from home, you know Kennedy was thinking "That bitch can't touch me. I had a mother effing horse."

Anyway, our source tells us EXCLUSIVELY that Melissa only throws parties for her daughter and that her Joe Gorga's parents weren't even invited to the party! Is that because it wasn't anywhere near Antonia's real birthday? 

"Antonia's party was just for the cameras," our source shares. "Melissa never throws her kids big parties. Her boys have never even had a birthday party. The baby had no 1st birthday and no 2nd birthday party! Not even cake at the house," our source assures us.

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