Reality Tea

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I wasn’t even in Dubai with the Housewives, but even I was feeling the tension as I watched the Beverly Hills ladies on their Dubai trip. I don’t know about you, but I was extremely uncomfortable the entire time. And apparently there was even more drama than we got to watch on TV. Kyle Richards shared secrets about the plane ride home from Dubai that did not make the cut for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I figured that the ladies would have been worn out from arguing about the same exact thing over and over again, but I was wrong. Apparently they could not even sit next to each other on the plane ride home without coming to blows, so Kyle decided to to take things into her own hands to try and prevent even more craziness from occurring.

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dance moms mackenzie maddie

Wait, I’m confused…Dance Moms is going to go on without Maddie? Do you hate us that much, Phil Collins? In the wake of Melissa’s announcement, the ALDC team wants to soak up the last few weeks they have with Maddie and MacKenzie. While they’re obviously sad to see them leave (at least the girls are), it’s clear that everyone is excited for what’s to come in Maddie’s skyrocketing career. Jill believes that even though she’s not showing her true feelings, Abby Lee Miller is secretly seething over the news. In other new, Jill is a candidate for MENSA. 

At pyramid, Abby rakes her team over the coals for a second place group number, but it’s a step up from not placing the week before. JoJo is on the bottom, and she jokes that she’s been on the bottom a lot lately. This child’s attitude is everything, but Jessalyn objects to JoJo’s placement–she worked hard and did well last week! Abby rips JoJo’s picture from the pyramid, yelling, “We’ll move her!” before placing her at the top of the pyramid and laughing. JoJo is thrilled. Jessalyn is thankful Abby didn’t throw her daughter’s head shot on the ground and stomp on it. If I were everyone in the studio, I’d be slowly backing away…it’s clearly a sign that Abby’s about to go totally loco. Brynn is now the bottom-most dancer for not dancing, with MacKenzie on her heels for not showing enough emotion in her duet with Nia. When MacKenzie tears up, Abby warns her not to be a crybaby. Emotions are only for the stage! Speaking of, Nia’s dancing was emotional and beautiful, but only third rung of the pyramid awesome. Kendall, Maddie, and Kalani make up the second tier in that order. She praises them all.

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Mohamed Hadid & Lisa Vanderpump

Remember when Yolanda Foster claimed on WWHL that Mohamed Hadid hadn’t spoken to his former bestie Lisa Vanderpump in 8 months? It might have been her Lyme Brain talking, because Mohamed just denied that his friendship with Lisa is over! Although he doesn’t specifically say if they’re “talking.”

Reportedly Mohamed was remaining “cordial” to Lisa while Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills was filming, but after her comments about Yolanda’s Lyme Disease, plus doubting that Bella and Anwar have Lyme Disease, Mohamed considered their friendship ov-ah!

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Reality TV Listings Botched Season 2

If you thought that the first two seasons of Botched were crazy, you haven’t seen anything yet! Everyone’s favorite reality TV doctors Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif will be back for even more corrective surgeries. Get ready because Season 3 of Botched will be back on May 10 at 9PM and E! just released a trailer to tide you over until the premiere. And once again, it looks a super juicy season is on its way.

Just when you thought that the cases could not get any stranger on this show, they definitely do. It seems like there is no surgery that these doctors are afraid to take on. One patient describes the duo as the “ultimate tag team” and she is so right. Not only do these two balance each other out on the operating table, but they really do have such great chemistry to deliver some great television. Plus, it really seems like they are willing to take on almost any challenge when it comes to helping their patients.

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teen-mom-2-javi

We barely saw Corey Simms on last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2 – even Nathan Griffith had more air time than him! – but other than that, last night’s episode was centered on dads, the old, the new, the steps, and the born again.

Chelsea Houska wants to replace Aubree’s old dad, Adam Lind, with new dad, Cole DeBoer. Adam accepts Cole as Aubree’s step-dad, but refuses to be ousted as DAD. Isaac’s step-dad, Javi Marroquin, is about to leave for a six month deployment, and dad, Jo Rivera, is prepared to help Kailyn Lowry. Jenelle Evans considers letting Nathan see his son, while she celebrates her birthday in New York with David Eason, who has a couple of kids of his own. And Leah Messer is getting along especially well with Addie’s dad, Jeremy Calvert. She thinks there may be a new spark with her old flame, which would conveniently spare her from having a fourth kid with a third man.

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Coachella 2016

Coachella. It is where rich kids go and pretend they are hippies… err, um, rich kids… and a few reality stars who want to party like it’s 1969. It’s all very odd to me. I think Bethenny Frankel summed it up perfectly:

“So someone invited me to #douchella & I got overwhelmed,” she tweeted. “Isn’t it for 22 yr old models with suede purses & flower crowns?”

Exactly. But for reasons I’m not hip enough to understand, reality TV stars flock to Coachella, where it is all about the selfies and fashion and the music seems like an afterthought, every year. Rich Kids of Beverly Hills star Dorothy Wang posted the pic above on Instagram, adding, “Coachella family fun!” Look below for more photos from the #RichKids stars, as well as Bella Hadid, Juliet Angus, Mercedes “MJ” Javid, Tom Sandoval, Kyle Richards, and more.

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Real Housewives Of Dallas Mad Hatter's Tea

Real Housewives Of Dallas is sending mixed messages: is this show about poop or charity? I don’t think they go together unless the charity has something to do with colonoscopies. Also, the ladies are so immature! Am I watching Real Housewives Of Kindergarten? If the rest of the season is going to be bathroom humor (teeheehee) with LeeAnne Locken pursing her lips and growling over charity, then someone needs to get their poopin’ potootie back into the editing room! 

The drama between LeeAnne and Brandi Redmond has grown legs – specifically Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader legs. LeeAnne and Brandi’s mutual friend Marie, the woman who hosted the charity event where Brandi and LeeAnne argued, invites Brandi to show her daughter some DCC dance moves. (Has anyone ever watched that Cowboys cheerleader reality show on CMT? GUILTY PLEASURE!).

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Southern Charm recap

I no longer dread Mondays thanks to the dear cast members of Southern Charm. Whether they are unpacking wedding gifts in the eleventh hour to host a dinner party or channeling their inner Knight Rider to escape a polo match, there is something mesmerizing about this crew. That said, while I love the light-hearted friendships and silly situations, the darkness that is starting to overshadow the show is sad. These are real people. Y’all know that…you follow them on social media! Let’s get started with last night’s recap, shall we? 

As the charmers prepare for another day in the Holy City, Craig Conover is channeling his inner Ryan Serhant with his monochromatic shirt and tie combo. He’s hoping to beat JD into the office because HashtagNewCraig is a go-getter. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose is facetiming with his mom and relishing in being a home owner. Not only is he glad to not be bunking at Sullivan’s with Whitney Sudler-Smith, the ladies dig his home ownership. It makes Shep look like he’s got his shiz together…and that’s going to be important if he expects the city’s Board of Architectural Review to green light an above-ground pool and bar on his roof. 

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