Reality Tea

On last nights’s episode of Celebrity Apprentice, upon finding out that Gary Busey would be managing the men’s team, Donald Trump stated we would either find out Gary is a genius or a complete moron. And by the end of the episode, uh well, let’s just say genius he is not!

The challenge was to market the meat by mail company Omaha Steaks. The teams had to create three occasion themed meals from the extensive catalogue of “gourmet” frozen (seriously um… some of that stuff looked a lot like Lean Cuisine, but whatever) and then do a live cooking demo for the executives and a studio audience. They also had to create some sort of signature theme package to feature in an upcoming Omaha Steaks catalog.

The only thing unifying the men’s team was the desire to get Gary fired so they somehow persuaded Gary to become Project Manager so they could make an undeniable example of what a disaster he is, even though John Rich is convinced he is calculating saboteur (yeah – I’m really not buying that logic). On the women’s team Hope Dworaczyk stepped up to prove that babies can lead a team of grown women to victory.

As a project manager, Gary pretty much delegated his own smoking breaks and nothing else. His only act of leadership was to walk in, stare at Meat Loaf ominously and pronounce him chef, as if he was bestowing upon Meatloaf a great honor. He did not assign Lil Jon or John “Ka-boy” Rich anything. So they sat around and talked some trash and didn’t even try to help Meatloaf, even though he was visibly stressed out. There was some drama about a menu Gary signed off on that was printed differently from the menu Meatloaf was given and Little John had to cut up pieces of paper as his only task. And everything went wrong and was Gary’s fault. Because he really did a ridiculous job of planning or as John described it a “catastrophic collapse of time management”. And yeah, what was Gary doing – he is just too nuts. That entire team was a train wreck.

For their meals, the men did some kind of anniversary dinner with a bizarre story about the romance filling your stomach so you can look into the eyes of your loved one, a father’s day meal that involved flying a kite with the Omaha Steak logo on it (?!?), and I don’t even remember what the last thing was I was so distracted by Gary’s crazy. Then they made some sort of package that had about 500 different seasonings, because Gary wanted to convince Omaha Steaks to sell flavored steaks. Meatloaf did look like he did a great job, though.

This is off topic, but I wonder – do you think Gary and Kelly Killoren Bensimon have met? I think they might make a great couple! They are eerily similar. They both ramble nonsensically and leave you wondering what end is up and they seem ok with being on a totally different planet than the rest of us.

On the women’s team La Toya Jackson, our poor spoiled Jackson princess, has never cooked because all her many servants have always lovingly prepared her every meal, so she just pretty much set off fire alarms trying to make a hamburger on the stove. “Whoops” she mused in her twee little voice, blinking her giant crazy cartoon eyes slowly like a Lisa Frank trapper keeper unicorn. Nene Leakes made a snide comment about La Toya trying to turn her into Michael Jackson by… I guess setting her hair on fire– which was actually kinda funny. Star bossed everyone around and then sexually harassed (totally obliviously!) the very sweet chef helping the women. Which ew – nothing makes me feel less like eating an Omaha Steak than the thought of Star Jones touching some poor man’s area – and he was cute too! I am sure he is still crying in the corner at the Culinary Institute while holding his head in his hands.

Then there was a lot of bickering and back stabbing and complaining about each other behind each other’s backs and La Toya and Nene whining, and it looked like nothing was getting done, but then voila! or should I say Omaha! A presentation appeared. The women did hamburgers, a petite sirloin heart-healthy dinner, and a lobster tail. Then they made a “Poker Night” package filled with hamburgers and some other stuff perfect for the rich and spoiled who cannot go to the grocery store and buy a pound of hamburger and make their own patties. I do think their presentation seemed very professional and well put together.

Anyways, they won! I think it was because Nene cooked a lobster – what do you think? In the boardroom, Mr. Trump made a big to-do about Hope’s age and how young she was to lead a troop of tough old broads out for blood. Nene sweated – oh excuse me, glistened in a lady-like manner – through lying about what she thought about Hope’s PM skills, she was apparently just “good” not great. By the way, does anyone else love Hope’s wardrobe?

The men did everything short of begging Mr. Trump to fire Gary by having Meatloaf stutter with anger, and Lil Jon complain about how he had no tasks except advising a grown man about putting tissue paper in a box, and John complaining about being addressed as boy. So some dispute ensued about Gary calling him boy or “Ka-boy” which is a term used for cowboys? Ummmmmmmmmmmm… So Mr. Trump finally accepted that relying on Gary to carry the ratings for this show was wearing thin and fired him, then he let Nene and Star know that they better do something crazy to make up for Gary leaving or else one of them goes home next. And that was that – next week we FINALLY get to see some serious Nene vs. Star dramz! Yay!

TELL US – WHAT WERE YOUR THOUGHTS ON LAST NIGHT’S CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?