"F*** me now, slave – or I'll spend more of your money on Versace china and wigs!"
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was a lesson in living large, but not necessarily in charge. We spent our last day in Casa de Eviction where the Zolciak-Biermann fam was unceremoniously tossed out, left to the mercies of a generic moving company and schlepping 17,000 square feet of wigs back to Big Poppa's condo. Le sigh. My how the delusions of grandeur have fallen.
Elsewhere Kenya Moore continued to rock crazy like it's a pair of Louboutins. I would say she wears it well, but she doesn't. Instead she comes off looking the girl in foolboutins. I think they sell them at Payless. BOGO bitches!
Things begin at Casa de Eviction, where Kim Zolciak, wig askew, is like freaking out. She's got a whole house to move and one day to do it and no one is helping her. So she storms around ranting and blaming the movers for everything. Sweetie is shockingly the voice of reason as she tries to steer Kim in the direction of focusing on the important things – packing her wigs and makeup. Apparently Sweetie wants to spare us a Kim sans her face.
She's brash and loud and skinny and quite the alcohol mogul. Whether you're her biggest fan or she's the reality star you love to hate, everyone seems to have an opinion on Bethenny Frankel.
The former Real Housewives of New York star has made a name for herself with spin-offs, cocktails, and a daytime talk show. She has a cult like following and an equally large number of people who can't stand to hear her voice. However, you can't deny that her sharp wit and acidic tongue can be downright hilarious.
It's good to be Brandi Glanville this week! Not only did the preorder for her new book go live this past week, but she just landed another job!
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star shared over the weekend that she's heading to another Beverly Hills-based TV show: "90210"! Brandi and her RHOBH cohort Camille Grammer will be appearing on the series (which is a reboot of the original 'Beverly Hills, 90210') in the near future. She took to Twitter to share her excitement, naturally.
It seems that Kody Brown has gotten some sort of hairstyle/hairdo/haircut situation since last week's Sister Wives premiere. His bowl-cut/mullet hybrid seems more tame. Is he not watching these old home videos of himself that we're forced to watch? He's actually not bad looking with shorter hair. I don't know if I'll ever get over his mane situation. Kody drones on and on about how many polygamists don't raise their children in such a public manner due to the stigma of the lifestyle. Of course Kody wants to be front and center with each of his bazillion kids so they realize how strong the family bond is.
Kody and his wives are heading to the high school for a parent(s)-teacher conference. Oddly enough, they opt for the mini-van instead of Kody's convertible. Strange. The first meeting is with Mariah's Spanish teacher. Mariah reminds us that she was inducted into the National Honor Society…last episode year. A little editing problem there, TLC? That would explain Kody's haircut. Anyhoo, the Spanish teacher is meeting with three of the kids moms. It's funny watching the wives pretend like they understand Spanish. Christine thinks that Senora Hess is hot. She would totally learn Spanish from her…and there is next season's story line–recruiting Senora Hess as the next wife.
Next, the women meet with the P.E. teacher. While she's only teaching Aspyn this year, she had many of the daughters last year. Aspyn likes to skip P.E. a lot, but she's making up the work to increase her grade. Christine allows Aspyn to skip school a lot because she's such a good student. That's good…it's totally like that in the work force too, so kudos to you Christine for preparing her for real life. Meri admits that Mariah often tries to skip citing Chistine's lax nature with Aspyn, but Meri won't stand for it. However, like Mariah, Aspyn also wants to be in a plural marriage like her parents.
Was she, or wasn't she… fired, that is! It's the eternal question for any Housewife who has since ceased being a Housewife. The latest lady to hang up her wig is Kim Zolciak who recently did the tabloid rounds to insist she quit Real Housewives of Atlanta over negativity and to focus on her own spin-off, slated to air in April.
Well, NeNe Leakes tells a different story and she accuses Kim of some tall, tall tales! “It's so funny how this chick wants people 2 think she quit the show!” NeNe tweeted. “The producers no longer wanted 2 work wit u! Good bye wit the lies."
And just to make sure we all knew who the tweet was intended for, NeNeadded: “None of the girls or producers wanted 2 work wit her! Saving face like all the other ex housewives! U were FIRED! Good bye.”
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
Do you ever wonder what Maci Bookout and Catelynn Lowell dream about? If yes, then today is your lucky day. HuffPost Celebrity has featured the Teen Mom stars in its No Filter column. In the hot lukewarm seat, Maci and Catelynn answer questions about their dreams, guilty pleasures, and Kim Kardashian! Oh, my!
What do Maci and Catelynn dream about? Maci shares that she dreams the same dream over and over again but refuses to tell us about it! My guess – 50 Shades of Ryan. When Maci's not dreaming her secret dream, she says she dreams about being chased, which means she's "running from Ryan lust something." Catelynn dreams about zombies. She shares, "I had a dream that I was fighting zombies and shooting them. I was running around all these rooms and locking myself in. My dog got bit by a zombie, turned into a dog zombie, and bit me."
Next question: What's on your nightstand? Maci's nightstand holds a picture of her and Bentley and a random selection of Bentley's toys. If Catelynn's zombie dreams keep her awake, she has a pictures of her fiance, Tyler Baltierra, and her Doberman on her bedside table to keep her company.