Oh, Bachelor Pad, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways… right after I grab a loofah and scrub off the germs. I swear, just watching this show puts us all at risk of venereal diseases. Bachelor Pad 3 is summer TV at its finest, isn’t it?
As Chris Harrison welcomes us, I realize this puts me at five hours of Chris Harrison for the week. What has my life come to? Perhaps I can find some old reruns of Designer’s Challenge on HGTV just for fun. Thankfully, Chris shifts his focus from true love forever to smutty and disgusting seamlessly, so no time is wasted. Let the train wreck begin!
First,Emily Maynard‘s final four castaway, Chris Bukowski. Chris sits on his leather couch, wearing a jacket and shoes, reflecting on his heartbreak. Are we supposed to believe this is the exact minute Emily kicked him away? Chris “knows” going on the Bachelor Pad will help him move on from Emily. He mentions falling in love, also. He’s funny. Chris is looking forward to meeting Lindzi Cox.
There’s some good news and some bad news for some of the gang from Jersey Shore. Somebody is getting sued and somebody is going to be an uncle!
Bad news first…Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is being sued by a Florida company called Performance Brands for failing to promote its fat-metabolizing cream. The company claims that they fronted the reality television star $75,000 to endorse the product via social media and personal appearances. However, as soon as Sitch got paid, he checked into rehab for his prescription drug addiction.
TMZ reports that the company is none too happy that Mike failed to perform his contractual obligations, especially since he originally lied about where he was going. Performance Brands wants all of its money back since he failed to disclose his drug addiction. Mike, of course, is firing back with his own law suit, alleging the company failed to provide him with the promotional materials necessary to fulfill his duties.
Another season of the Bachelorette ends happily. (for now) Emily Maynard offers her final rose to entrepreneur Jef Holm. Jef proposes to Emily with a $90,000 ring. She accepts the ring – and Jef! Ricki joins her mom and new daddy after the proposal. Leading us right into the Bachelorette After the Final Rose special. Live this year… to bring us the “latest news” and “shocking secrets.” All lies. More likely, the decision to tape it live is to keep the end to Emily’s journey seemingly more secret and dramatic than it really is.
Speaking of drama, Chris Harrison promised us a dramatic finale unlike any other. I must have slept through those parts. Except for the lackluster proposal spot, it felt like most other Bachelor and Bachelorette finales. There have been more exciting and unusual finales. Once again, Chris Harrison lies. “The most dramatic something or other”… whatever, Chris. We’re on to you!
Chris Harrison gets right to it. When Emily comes on stage, Chris suggests she looks like she is in love. “I am!” says Emily.
Buckle up! Last night was yet another crazy episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I am really going to miss these ladies when the season ends.
We start–where else?–with Joseline wearing the most ridiculous “outfit” for a photo shoot. She looks like a mermaid Beyonce in drag. There is a lot going on to say the least. Stevie J. arrives and he’s not feeling her ensemble. Perhaps he wants her to dress more patriotic like himself. He immediately goes off on her for texting his baby mama. She has a name! I mean, how hard is it to say, “Did you text Mimi?” Joseline calls Mimi Faust a b*tch, and Stevie doesn’t like her disrespecting his family. He storms out of the photo shoot. Joseline goes back to her posing.
Momma Dee and Shay meet for lunch. Shay knows she needs to tread lightly and get on Momma Dee’s good side so she can grow her relationship with Lil’ Scrappy. Momma Dee is very happy that her son is with Shay, and she warns Shay that she may have to check Erica Dixon at some point. She says they can either act like ladies or handle it with some gangsta sh**. I have a feeling Momma Dee hopes it’s the latter.
American Idol winner Jordin Sparks has stepped out with a rocking new figure thanks to diet, exercise, and good old fashioned hard work. The star has recently lost fifty pounds! How did she do it? She entirely changed her diet and lifestyle, implementing new strategies to make sure that the pounds just melted away.
Jordin touts cutting out her Starbucks cravings and late night snacks, and swapping out sugary drinks and treats with healthier options. She also swears by portion control and not eating within two hours of going to bed.