Reality Tea

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AaaahhhCouples Therapy. I was promised a trainwreck and a trainwreck we shall have. Oh goody!

Kelsey Nykole saunters out onto the patio where a slurry Taylor Armstrong and a messy, sloppy Liz and Jon Gosselin are talking. Kelsey drops the bomb that she's never masturbated. 

Liz and Taylor are shocked. "That's part of my repertoire," announces Taylor. Lovely. "I'm an expert," says Liz who decimated Jon in an earlier episode for "beating off". Hypocrite much? 

The next day Liz and Jon have a little gift for Kelsey – it's her very first vibrator! Surprisingly it did not come from Farrah Abraham's line of sex toys. She wasn't passing out goody bags?! Oh but wait – she was forced to make those vaj-molds and videotape herself doing it! Cause we all want a keek of Farrah's crotchal region covered in plaster! I don't know what's a grosser vibrator association: Jon or Farrah

Moving on, Taylor is struggling with parenting. "I don't parent," she slurs at the camera before course correcting to explain she doesn't set boundaries. #FreudianSlip Kennedy comes to the house the next day for some quality time with this woman who people say is her mom. Taylor greets Kennedy with villainous laugh that lasts about 5 minutes. In return, Kennedy shoots Taylor dirty looks that could melt a lip-plant. 

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Teen Mom star Amber Portwood has been out of prison for four months now. Following her release, she said prison saved her life and she wanted to help others in similar situations. First up?  None other than Teen Mom 2 train wreck Jenelle Evans, who is no stranger to county lockup and expecting her second child this summer. 

This won't end well.  Speaking to a gossip magazine about Jenelle is not quite what I had in mind when Amber said she wanted to help others. Amber began, "It's not like you can wake up one day and be like, 'Hey, I'm clean' – it's irresponsible and immature." Addressing Jenelle, Amber added, "You have one child you need to think about before you have another."

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Five years ago today the very first post was published here at Reality Tea.  We weren't sure what to label this as – a birthday? an anniversary? just another Friday?  Anniversary fits well since it feels a little like we're married to the site, but birthdays guarantee a cake and way better presents.  Just don't let Yolanda catch you near the cake table trying to sniff any crumbs. 

Yep, we are FIVE years old already. We are pretty excited, humbled and thankful about this milestone.  We owe it all to our readers and our tiny, but devoted and sleep deprived, team of writers.  The site continues to grow at a mind-boggling rate every single day and it's all because of you. 

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“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” season 4 and “Vanderpump Rules” season 2 Cross-over premiere

I have to say that Carlton Gebbia's Bravo blog is the perfect storm of everything the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star likes to do: down tequila shots, hate on Kyle Richards, make digs at Joyce Giraud, and forge a better friendship with Lisa Vanderpump. I'm not always in Carlton's corner, but I do adore her take on Monday's episode. Besides calling out Mauricio Umansky and Michael Giraud for wanting to be the eighth and ninth housewives (preach!), she seems to have an even-keeled about her opinions…except when it comes to hating on Kyle, and that's pretty entertaining.

She begins, "Back to Puerto Rico…Kyle seems so hell bent on an apology from Lisa — for what? Is she seriously demanding this huge, blown-out-of-proportion apology from Lisa for allegedly saying 'take the tabloid' regarding Kyle's husbands alleged affair? Really, are you joking? Did you also demand that same apology from Brandi [Glanville] too? Just curious? Good God, give it a bloody rest."

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Khloe Kardashian Appears at Kardashian Khaos

So both Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian were the victims of robberies recently. It would only make sense that they find new places to reside so it wouldn't happen again. Not really, of course, but after Khloe discovered more than $200,000 worth of jewelry was missing while moving out of her marital home with Lamar Odom, she's finally found a new place to stash her pricey belongings.

In case you were curious, Khloe is a true Bielieber. After selling her home to the star of The Big Bang Theory, Khloe is set to purchase the douchiest house in Calabasas. That's right! She's buying Justin Bieber's party pad. I am sure his neighbors are overjoyed that the egg-slinging jackhole popstar is moving to Atlanta. Atlanta? Not so much. Speaking of, Kris Jenner's house is on the market as well…at least the exterior, that is! Confused? Keep reading!

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Here's a new blind item for us to ponder this morning.  This one is short and not-so-sweet!  Take a peek and give us your best guess in the comments below. 

"This B list reality star from an A list network reality show has been hospitalized twice while taking a product but continues to keep taking it because they pay her a lot of money to endorse it and she needs the money."

Source

 

Photo Credit: Getty

Leah Remini and Family

Can we go ahead and start jumping on Oprah's couch over this news? That's probably putting the cart ahead of the horse, but TLC has announced a new show which will premiere this summer that will follow famed actress and former Scientologist Leah Remini and her family.

I'm not going to hold my breath that this show will divulge all the secrets of the controversial religion, but a gal can hope, right? 

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Photo Credit: Instagram

 

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