Oh Couples Therapy – Whew! Where does a girl begin breaking down this mess? I mean, I need therapy after watching it, but real therapy not of the Dr. Jenn Berman 'lemme stroke your F-list ego' variety.
Taylor Armstrong rendered me paralyzed by laughter for a full 10 minutes while I watched her epic meltdown over "pea green towels" and the lack of acceptable lattes at the mansion. And that's where we begin. With Taylor and John Bluher exercising their right to tantrum.
Taylor goes Oklahoma on Dr. Jenn's staff until they give her permission to call the doctor herself and complain. Immediately upon getting on the phone Taylor goes from OK to Hawaiian sunset as she calmly but snootily explains that filet mignon is a necessary requirement for her life. "I can't live like this," she whines. "It's like a joke." Yes – it is exactly like a joke except we're all laughing at you, not with you.
Lest Taylor forget about all her financial problems – lady you were hawking fake Birkins to pay for legal bills.
Ready for more Rich People by Bravo? Southern Charm follows six singles – Craig Conover, Cameran Eubanks, Thomas Ravenel, Jenna King, Shepard "Shep" Rose, and Whitney Sudler-Smith – as they live their posh lives in Charleston, South Carolina. Bravo describes:
The cast, some descendants of Vice Presidents and four-term Senators, and others from new money, is comprised of Southern bachelors who suffer from "Peter Pan Syndrome" by refusing to settle down and the women in their lives who challenge them to grow up. Viewers will see them launch political careers, build businesses, break hearts, and chase true love – all while struggling to preserve their family names. Because in Charleston, you're only as good as your last garden party and one social screw-up can taint generations to come.
You have to love Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Lisa Vanderpump. She can throw shade with the best of them and still sound classy to boot. For example, in her Bravo blog this week she touts her extensive charity work while subtly scolding Kim Richards for calling her a liar for saying she couldn't attend her daughter's graduation because she was out of town. She also schools her Emily Post style. As for Brandi Glanville's behavior towards Joyce Giraud? Lisa couldn't be more appalled, but it's so understated, it's like the perfect strand of pearls.
Lisa begins by talking about traveling to St. Louis for her volunteer work–and Giggy's!–to reveal why she wasn't able to make Kimberly's graduation shindig. She writes, "Now Giggy is a personality in his own right, so I needed a charity that would fit his profile — and children with alopecia was a perfect match. Now can I compare Giggy's hair loss with that of a child's? Of course not, but I knew that Giggy could make a difference, bring some levity to what otherwise can be a somber affair. When Giggy appears and we talk with the children and teenagers — many of whom watch him every week, many had just seen him on Dancing With the Stars — the message is clear. Should alopecia stop you being the very best you can be? We asked the children if they thought he would be cuter with his fur. They unanimously answered no he was perfect, so then I gently remind them that is the way people feel about them."
Breaking news! Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor was spotted wearing a sweater! Kristen Doute and Tom Sandoval are in a healthy, thriving relationship! Okay, so maybe one of those statements is true, but really, how shocking is it to see Jax sporting a chunky cardigan?
Stassi Schroeder's ex is doing his best to move on while his former (I'm guessing from the previews of next week's episode) friend and his lady are bucking everyone's advice and opinions by staying in a co-dependent, tension filled relationship built on lies and distrust. Good times at SUR, right?
The ladies of Mob Wives are back on Staten Island, and Drita D'avanzo calls Big Ang to share a her recent disturbing dreams about people breaking into her home and she shoots them repeatedly. She's hoping it's not a premonition, and she's scared that there is actual meaning behind them. Drita believes she can foresee the future through her dreams. She even dreamt that Lee's best friend ratted him out before he actually did. Ang tries to placate her friend to no avail. At Alicia diMichele Garafalo's house, her brother stops in for a visit. She appreciates his support now that her husband's sentencing has been postponed. He hopes that when his sister gets sentenced she'll be under house arrest. He wonders if she's considered what would happen if she actually gets sent to jail. She wants to avoid the subject at all costs.
Natalie Guercio heads to Ang's to rehash her Vegas fight with Renee Graziano. Drita pops in to be part of the conversation. Natalie apologizes to them for being thrown in the middle of the craziness. She shares how Renee "apologized" to her while basically calling her trash. No respect! Drita and Ang are appalled. Natalie doesn't believe Renee's mea culpa was sincere, and Drita warns her that Renee can't get over things. It's not Natalie, it's Renee. Drita questions whether Natalie can be civil around Renee. Natalie believes she can as long as Renee stays in line.
With her acting career um… stalling… NeNe Leakes is moving into the producer role. NeNe started her own production company last year NeNe Leakes Production True Entertainment and served as a producer for her spinoff I Dream Of NeNe.
Now NeNe is continuing with producing as she reportedly has three new shows in the works! A source told Jasmine Brand that while all the shows will be reality TV they will be decidedly different from Real Housewives of Atlanta fare. Meaning they won't show women fighting and socializing!
Joanna Krupa got married last year and now she's moving onto the next big thing: having a baby. Of course before Joanna commits to any pregnancies she wants to see if Real Housewives of Miami is renewed. Hola storyline!
Joannatells Us Weekly she and Romain Zago are still deciding whether or not they're ready to have one of the hottest children in the world, but because they're so busy Joanna wants to freeze her eggs just in case. I take their sex life is back on track then…
Joanna says she "100 percent" wants to have children. "We're talking. We're definitely talking more about having a baby this year than ever in the last seven years we've been together."