Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!
Since Brandi Glanville, Ian Ziering, Kenya Moore and Johnny Damon were in NYC to do interviews on the Today show yesterday morning, Donald Trump threw them a “bloodbath” Celebrity Apprentice party at Trump Tower last night. Is it weird to throw a party for the four people you kicked to the curb? Especially when two of the fired contestants can hardly stand to be in the same room?
At the event last night Kenyaspoke to E! news about the showdown with Vivica A. Fox, “If you know Vivica, you know that’s who she really is. I think she’s proud of it, so it’s not like I’m saying something that isn’t the truth. She really prides herself on being ghetto. You heard her say she’s ghetto fabulous. I think in her generation, it was cool to say those types of things or brag about somebody being physically attacked like they deserved it, it’s embarrassing behavior.” She hopes young viewers of the show know that’s not the way to behave. She also says what we saw on TV was mild and tame. Kenya says “I was just afraid she was going to try to fight someone. I’ve seen her blow up at Kate, just seen her display some really intensive anger.”
CHECK OUT THE PICS AND QUOTES FROM THE PARTY BELOW
Hollywood, baby! Last night on Dance Moms, the ALDC finally arrived in Los Angeles so that Abby Lee Miller can start on the next chapter in her star-making career. Of course, things rarely go as planned in reality television, and Abby is livid to get to her new rented dance studio to find another class rehearsing in her space. Jill and Holly find it funny that Abby is so intimidated to learn that other dancers are also present in the city where everyone comes to be entertainers. Abby is quickly on the phone with her attorney speaking about privileged information. Jessalyn and JoJo are also present, feeling that they were kind of invited. As Abby fumes in the parking lot, the mothers enter and introduce themselves to the interlopers. Even Melissa finds her behavior odd. Jill doesn’t get the temper tantrum…why can’t the girls just dance?
We’re treated to some of the other competitive west coast teams, including one led by a choreographer once hired by the dreaded Candy Apples’ Cathy. As the girls warm up, Abby calls the mothers to say she feels uncomfortable practicing in the studio with the other teams. Melissa is beside herself. Abby tries to temper her news that she won’t be attending rehearsals by sharing that she’s scored all of the girls an audition the following day. While that’s all well and good, the moms want to know who is going to prepare their girls for the competition!
Well, well, well. While I didn’t doubt the truth behind the story (court documents don’t lie, y’all!), I am shocked that the Browns have issued a formal statement in response to that little rumor that Koldilocks had quietly divorced first wife Meri Brown to quickly (and equally quietly) legally marry fourth wife Robyn. It’s a Sister Wives twist for sure!
To be honest, I sort of figured that a family who put so much time and effort into “marriages” would frown upon divorce. I know, I know. Both Robyn and Janelle have had failed marriages pre-Kody, but now Meri has a failed marriage with her actual husband. Come to think of it, Christine is the only one who hasn’t been divorced and has never technically been married. Wrap your head around that one, folks!
While Kelly Hyland’s behavior always left a lot be desired when she appeared on Dance Moms, there is no denying how adorable daughters Brooke and Paige were on the Lifetime reality show. Of course, it wasn’t very entertaining watching the girls belittled by the dance teacher who had been in their lives since they were toddlers. Abby Lee Miller certainly had decades old beef with teenage rival Kelly, and she often took out her frustrations for Kelly on the two girls.
Knowing that, it’s no surprise that Kelly was kicked off the show (and arrested) for assaulting Abby (read: flicking her mile high bangs–Abby totally provoked her in my opinion) which was quickly followed with lawsuits from both Kelly and Paige. Thankfully, Paige isn’t making litigation her eighth grade hobby. She’s now a middle school YouTube sensation.
Andy started off reading a few Tweets that the Beverly Hills cast wrote tonight during the episode, including Brandi Glanville’s hostile huffing off because of the editing of the show. She wrote, “I’m getting off Twitter for tonight! You only see what they show that’s it ! Bye Felicia.”
Just when you think things can’t get any worse between Brandi and Kyle Richards, Brandi threatens to knock Kyle’s teeth out, continues to meddle in Kyle and Kim’s relationship and takes a low blow at Kyle’s marriage to Mauricio Umansky.
Tonight Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd will also face the tough decision whether to divulge to son Max the names of his birth parents.
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