The ladies are in Bali and things were supposed to be rejuvenating. They were if you consider that coconut water is practically on tap there, but the company was just as negative as always! We witnessed a two-pronged dinner fight, that went into several acts last night. Shakespeare would be so proud of our Bravo editors! Dinner Act 1 featured Tamra squaring off against Lizzie Rovsek over fashion backstabbing and birthday ditching. Tamra fled the table, which is a serious sign of weakness in the Housewives kingdom and it let Lizzie know that Tamra is vulnerable so she fortified her mutiny.
The next day there is a clear divide between the Old Guard (Tamra, Heather, and Vicki) and the New Gals (Lizzie, Shannon Beador and that silent one – Mute Wide-Eyed McPout Dumberson). The agenda is playing with monkeys, touring a temple, and shopping in the market. Old Guard is dressed to the tropical nines. Heather’s dress was fabulous; humidity does not exist in the carefully calibrated perfectly controlled world of Heather – is she some sort of Housewives superhero? The New Gals were in workout gear – Lizzie practically wore a bikini as Tamra sneered that booty shorts aren’t appropriate for a temple. Ironic considering Tamra was also wearing booty shorts. Luckily the temple was booty short prepared and forced them to put sarongs over their clothes.
Something in the buttermilk ain’t clean! Once again, the Kardashians claim something awful happened to them. Something that wasn’t caught on camera or leaked to the press as it happened. Call me crazy, but I don’t believe them.
In March, Khloe Kardashian reported $250,000 worth of jewelry missing from her Tarzana home and Kourtney Kardashian claimed $50,000 cash was stolen from her Calabasas home. Both thefts remain unsolved. Now Kourtney wants us to believe $4,000 was stolen from her Southampton home. What a shame nobody stole that jumpsuit before she could wear it in public. Oy.
Kim Zolciak, who has six kids, one hot husband, and a house full of wigs, has 59 security cameras in her home. But the Kardashians, who have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of cash and valuables lying around, have no reliable cameras in their homes? Yeah, OK.
If I were a method blogger, I’d have been smokin’ indo and sippin’ on gin and juice to prepare for this recap. Sadly, I have to settle for a glass of Three Buck Chuck, and the only thing smoking is leftover casserole that I burned for dinner. #Snoopfail
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta begins with Mimi Faust confronting Nikko about an article on Media Take Out that claims he’s married. She knows it can’t be true (it is, after all, Media Take Out), but she wants to be sure. Nikko doesn’t miss a beat when telling her that his marriage was a secret he planned to take to his grave. Um, what? He just wants to be honest. Mimi is too exhausted to cuss him every which way to Sunday. Nikko admits that he never planned to tell her, but he blames her for never asking him outright if he had a wife. Yeah, that’s totally Mimi’s oversight. As she storms out, he asks her to dinner. The man has some balllzzz.
Stevie J., Kirk Frost, and Tony are helping Benzino celebrate his last few moments as a single man. Going against the norm, the gentlemen decide to hit up a strip club for his bachelor party. As pole dancers make-out in Zino’s face for his amusement, he explains that he doesn’t need a pre-nup because he and The-The (I HATE that nickname) will be together forever. Benzino then announces that Stevie will be his best man. The following day, a very hungover Stevie is being yelled into consciousness by the Puerto Rican alarm clock. Joseline Hernandez can’t imagine why her husband would want to be in a wedding where he’s smashed the bride. When he tells her that he is heading to L.A. to record with Snoop Dogg, Joseline smells trouble.
In other words, Courtney, 19, and Doug, 54, never finalized their divorce, and now they have rekindled their relationship and plan to renew their vows later this year. If this news does not give you the warm fuzzies, I don’t know what will.
The couple headed over to The Abbey with friends to party and celebrate the launch of “Dance Like You Don’t Give A …. Greatest Hits Remixes.” LeAnn got a little wild at the DJ booth and then danced at her table with her friends while the DJ played some of the remixes from her Album. She even got even got up on the dancer stage, tipping the go-go boys and danced with them.
Are you a fan of LeAnn’s music? Did you buy the new album? It’s apparently only available at Walmart through an exclusive deal. When I think about LeAnn’s music, I can’t help but hear Brandi Glanville calling LeAnn “Angelfish”, because she sings like an angel and drinks like fish. Something like that, if I recall it correctly….
Bali – a place of reincarnation, peace, zen, and reconnection. WRONG! Bali – a place of bitches, shrieking fits, drunken antics, and whining – if you’re a member of Real Housewives of Orange County, that is!
This week the ladies remain in Bali where the drama becomes off the chain. At the center of it all is Tamra Barney! Unfortunately Tamra even managed to get in a spat with bestie Heather Dubrow when Heather called her out for making fun of Lizzie Rovsek‘s dress.
Claudia Jordan was spotted filming with Kenya Moore and Cynthia Bailey at the opening of Sports One in Charlotte, NC last week. “Bravo crew came out, Kenya, new girl Claudia, my wife, Kordell [Stewart]. We shot at the bar last night until 2 in the morning,” Peterrevealed. “The two new girls are extremely beautiful, so there was a lot of chemistry in the house.”
The other potential newbie is Demetria McKinney, a singer and philanthropist and serious fashion-lover of the Marlo-vein (meaning over-the-top glam and big labels). Claudia, a former Miss Rhode Island, also competed in the Miss USA pageant and presently is a DJ for DishNetwork’s Rickey Smiley Show, where coincidentally Porsha Stewart also works.