On episode two of Mob Wives, which aired last night, it was all about loyalty and betrayal. Renee Graziano feels betrayed by her friends, she also feels betrayed by her ex-husband Junior – who barely has any involvement in their son AJ’s life. Carla Facciolo and Drita D’avanzo feel betrayed by their husbands for going to prison and leaving them to fend for themselves and raise their children while waiting for them to come home. And Karen Gravano feels betrayed by all the friends who ditched her when her dad ratted out all of their husbands and fathers to feds so he could go hang out poolside in AZ even though he killed 22+ people. So you know, that makes perfect sense!

So here’s what happened: “Bleep, bleepety, bleep, bleep, bl-ble-bleeep, bleep! Yeah?! Well, bleep, bleepin, bleepety bleep, ble – bleeeeeeeeep you!” Oh you couldn’t figure out what happened either? Yeah – this show needs to be on HBO or something – I can barely understand what’s being said because they have to bleep out every other word! My husband said I should start a “bleep tally” for each episode, but too much counting! Anyways, deciphering through the bleeps, this is what went on. Things picked up where they left off with Renee and Karen squabbling at Carla’s birthday party over who owns Staten Island – the state of NY or Renee? Renee seems to think it might be her, but you know – technicalities! Then her and Drita get into it when Drita tries to make peace with Renee, but ends up almost becoming The Hulk and punching her in the face and Carla had to intervene by grabbing Renee’s neck. Drita sums it up by saying: “If I hit you an ambulance is gonna come.” What a super classy party! So sad I missed it.


Then Carla and Drita practice their boxing – uhhh seriously girls, maybe practice your effective communication skills instead – and they discuss how to deal with Renee. Carla decides she’s going to call Renee to try and smooth things over, since Carla needs to apologize for inviting her friend Karen to her own birthday party because Renee doesn’t like Karen. Meanwhile Renee, after attending the Danielle Staub school of parenting, totally appropriately tells her SIXTEEN YEAR OLD son AJ about how bleepin drunk she bleepin got and how bleepin Drita with her “man muscles” was bleeping gonna hit her! Then she and Carla decide to get together for dinner and to talk. And just like that – heeey! food – Renee is over it and they are friends again. It turns out she was really mad because Karen made a good point and Renee couldn’t admit that maybe it made sense. I kind of like Carla – she definitely seems the most normal.

Drita gives some background information about her husband Lee, basically telling us he knocked her up, went to prison, came home, knocked her up again and then went back to prison so the only relationship he has with his children is via the telephone. Then Renee pretty much tells us the same thing about her ex-husband Junior. She married him like five minutes after he got out of prison and then like 10 minutes later he went back in!

Then Carla tells us about her husband Joe who is getting out in a couple months and is anxious to get back to his life at home. She talks about their pending divorce since they had problems before he went to the pen but then after he went to jail she was definitely over it (even though he thought his going to prison would make them closer?! Um… what??) and then he phone parents for their kids for a few seconds. I guess the lesson here ladies is this: Jail cells do not a marriage make.

Karen basically didn’t do anything this episode except talk about gangster stuff and complained about how Renee won’t be her friend anymore. Then she went dancing with Drita, who married her ex-boyfriend Lee and this is apparently a big problem for Karen. They spent the whole night talking about Lee, and Karen who complains about everyone else being “a fake” and “phony” lets us know she is still pissed at Drita for marrying Lee but hasn’t told her that this is STILL affecting their friendship 10 years later. Um… I hate to state the obvious here, but LEE IS A LOSER, LADIES – why would you waste two seconds on him?? HE IS IN PRISON – AGAIN – for ROBBING BANKS and after decoding some of the bleeps, I determined that he called his WIFE a Cee U Next Tuesday (think about it!) on national television, because she wants to know when he is expected to get out of prison! Yeahaaaaaa….

Speaking of Drita – she seems to love her husband Lee; which is really sweet, I guess – I hope he recognizes this (can they watch Mob Wives in prison? Probably if they buy somebody off). She talks about how much she misses him and is willing to wait and cannot wait until he gets home and then he drops the bomb on her that he doesn’t KNOW when he will be getting out and it could be two to four more years! One possible theory is that he is afraid of her and scared to come home… When she tried to get information about what was going on he got really defensive. She had a couple of conversations with him that went like this: “Bleep, Lee! I bleeping, bleep – oh – bleep you!” “You bleeping, bleep, bleep – bleepety, bleep!” You get the picture, I think he basically called her a B* and told her to Eff off and she called him a douche told him he doesn’t need to eat and she ate his pears and that’s why he didn’t get a package from her. So ha! It was all very confusing.

I have to say, watching this show made me a little sad – all the kids not knowing their dads, the part when Drita admitted that her nine year old daughter feels bad for her because she is always alone and then AJ, Renee’s son’s father stood them up at the gym and AJ said he was over getting disappointed anymore. Then Renee went to her therapist –didn’t The Sopranos already use this, oh I guess they stole it from Renee since she owns everything gangster – and she admitted she worries her son will also end up being a gangster like his father. So, yeah this episode was a tough one. It definitely cut through the glamorous image of the mafia life by giving us a glimpse of what really happens. Ending on a positive note – how much do you love the intro to this show? It’s amazing!

Anyways, next week – here comes the Feds! Somebody’s going down.


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