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Ramona Singer

Somewhere a satanic cult is using Ramona Singer as their icon. The recap highlighting Ramona’s season full of atrocious behavior and excuses, followed by the flashback of SEASONS worth of Ramona shrugging that she can’t help what comes out of her mouth because that’s the way she is, finally cutting to the present day Real Housewives Of New York reunion stage where, with all the sincerity of a robot, Ramona admits that shes horrible… It’s all literally a study of the human brain without emotional intelligence.

I could literally spend this entire recap talking about nothing but Ramona. When have we ever come across a Housewife so comfortably tactless, callous, and clueless that she offered up DEMENTIA as an excuse for being a shitty friend. DEMENTIA people! DE-MEN-TIA. This from a woman who subsequently bragged that it was OK to be obsessed with her appearance because she works “really hard” to remain ageless. Ramona’s attitude (aka the brain of a 14-year-old social media addict) is the most ageless thing of all!

Real Housewives Of New York Reunion Part 2

Tonight the Real Housewives Of New York reunion returns! In Part 2 Luann de Lesseps is called out over her arrogant and demanding behavior in the Berkshires – especially her infamous meltdown over the Fish Room (RIP).

Dorinda Medley is ready to move forward with Luann, but not before one last showdown over a taxidermied shark. 

Camille Grammer - Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1

I’m just gonna be honest: I was bored watching the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion. Maybe it’s because this season has been so overblown. All the revelations about Lisa Vanderpump not showing were already out and it was just a big old meh. It was big old gushy fake love fest about how Kyle Richards is queen… And Erika Jayne needs one of Dorit Kemsley‘s CLIPs to be put over her mouth.

Speaking of clips, the ones in Dorit’s hair should have read, “Fake” “Broke” “Grifter” “Dog Dumper” “Liar” “Bad Designer” And worst of all, “PK’s Wife.” The rest of Dorit’s outfit looked like a disco ball blew up. Hey, they’re broke so reduce, reuse, recycle to make the most of life on limited means.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion Denise Richards

Tonight the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills reunion we’ve all been waiting for begins! To be clear we’ve been waiting for this reunion because that means this ridiculous non-season is officially over!

All the ladies and Andy Cohen arrive on set expecting to finally get their long-awaited confrontation with Lisa Vanderpump to demand answers about PuppyGate, only to learn that Lisa isn’t showing up!

Of course this just means the women get to stick to their schtick of talking about Lisa instead of being real and honest about their own lives. That is until new scapegoat Camille Grammer shows up!

Hannah Ferrier & Jackie Siegel on Below Deck Mediterranean

Last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean was a delight, let me tell you! When the Queen of Versailles comes on board everything must be top notch. Let the commoners eat leftover cake. Literally.

Sirocco is a ship of change and fools. The number one fool being Joao Franco who could only keep his dark side hidden for so long. All those tears he cried to Captain Sandy Yawn about being a changed man were swiftly undone by a few errant shots of vodka. Jezabob returns and comes out swinging! YUCK.

First Joao starts with Anastasia Surmava. In Joao’s esteemed opinion beacuse Anastasia is not a 7-star chef she had no business accepting the promotion. OK, exactly what is a 7-star chef and what type of professional of this caliber would be working on a reality TV charter yacht for people like Jackie Siegel? [Crickets] 

June Foster joins Below Deck Mediterranean

Lots of exciting happenings tonight on Below Deck Mediterranean – from the infamous charter guests to a new stewardess joining the crew of the Sirocco!

With Anastasia Surmava promoted to chef Captain Sandy Yawn has scoured the world (or Monster.com) for a new third stew who’s available to start mid-season. Sandy hires June Foster sight unseen – and lets hope the globe-trotter originally from Arizona doesn’t make too many waves because Hannah Ferrier is not happy to have changes to her interior crew!

Luann de Lesseps - Real Housewives Of New York Reunion Feelin' Jovani

I am going to open this Real Housewives Of New York recap with a controversial confession: I LOVE Feelin’ Jovani! Stone me with sequins and rhinestones; I don’t care I will wear Jovani anywhere — and it feels so right!

How righteous was it for Andy Cohen to play the track during the reunion. While Luann de Lesseps mouthed the words to her own anthem. The other women avoided her eyes out of sheer second-hand embarrassment. I guess you could say they were feelin’ embarrassed, and it felt so wrong.

Anyway, now the outfits! Bethenny Frankel wore a dress that looks like a Tetris game. Which is appropriate considering how many puzzle pieces there are to Bethenny’s life and it’s near impossible to see how all the wonky angles fit together. Luann looked like she was wearing Jovani to her own funeral. Again, apropos.

Dorinda Medley - Real Housewives Of New York Reunion

The rawness of Real Housewives Of New York is just the palate cleanser we need after the drudgery of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. We all know this is a show where the ladies have no problem airing their dirty laundry. After washing it in the broken bidet of their crumbling mansion, of course.

Emotions run high throughout the day. Tears are cried as much as possible through Botoxed faces and accusations are made. I mean it wouldn’t be Real Housewives Of New York without cabaret a meltdown (or 16)