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On last night’s Real Housewives Of Dallas, the ladies smashed each other, bashed each other, and then walked on broken glass with each other’s feelings.

I don’t know what kind of therapist LeeAnne Locken is seeing, but apparently, anything to avoid actual therapy. She’s gone from massaging her amygdala and zapping it with zen, to slamming a sledgehammer into a mirror while fake crying about how she will not let anger destroy very real friendships with very fake friends.

The only misconception that got smashed real good though t’was the idea that LeeAnne is truly friends with D’Andra Simmons. Lord – these two are more wrecked than a dressing room after a debutante ball!

Last night the Real Housewives Of Dallas left Beaver Creek to return to their roots: the rodeo! D’Andra Simmons celebrated her 49th birthday and some of her friends treated her like a little girl who was gonna eat too much cake and make herself sick!

Cary Deuber is still in Jackson Hole Wyoming, and Stephanie Hollman is in Italy pasta-scarfing all her feelings about Kameron Westcott away. Much better than therapy if you ask me! This means Brandi Redmond‘s left to be the one-woman fun machine. She did not disappoint, although poor old LeeAnne Locken was trying to nip at her heels.

LeeAnne loves a competition over nothing, doesn’t she? Is she in therapy for this or does she not recognize that it’s a problem? Last week she argued with D’Andra over who was queen of nothing, which resulted in sexual assault on a K-Cup; this week she’s competing with Brandi for the title of D’Andra’s BFF. LeeAnne one-upped D’Andra’s K-Cup with an audition for a Def Leopard video – except MTV stop making music videos about 300 years ago, about the time LeeAnne should’ve handled her insecurities.