The Rachel Zoe Project Recap: No Babies Were Harmed In The Styling Of This Oscars Ceremony

On last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project, Mama-to-be Rachel faced the harsh realities that having a child and being uber pregnant means you can’t do it all, as the Oscars descended upon the ill and exhausted Rachel!

Things open with a super-pregnant Rachel having a melt down about clothes – among her zillions and zillions of items she simply has NO maternity clothes and can find nothing to wear. I’m not sure why she is trying to stuff herself into regular people clothes in her third trimester, but that appears to be the case! It’s Rodger and Rachel’s anniversary, so instead of spending it together she has accepted a consulting job. According to Rachel, since she is so busy and so pregnant, this doesn’t feel like their anniversary, so she doesn’t feel like celebrating. She has way too many famous people to attend to!

A Page Six gossip piece emerges announcing former-assistant Brad is styling former Zoe client Demi Moore and everyone is in a tailspin. Rachel announces he only worked with Demi ONE TIME and people need to fact check. I guess we should pay no credence to the rumor that Brad did all the work either.


Joey and Jeremiah, who are friends now, talk the Brad drama and Joey gives a very articulate (eye roll) rendition of what went down. Joey wonders if Rachel will wear heels in the delivery room. Of course, that’s a given!

Joey stops by the studio to review Anne Hathaway’s Oscar wardrobe and ohhhh…. The Tom Ford is AMAZING! Rachel cannot wait to get this baby thing over with so she can wear it. Rachel softly strokes Joey’s arm and gets misty eyed as she gently informs him styling is his calling. He clutches his Starbucks to his chest and breathily declares: “I know.” So moving a scene has never before occurred, speaking of Oscars! BTW: they need to stop trying to make gilver happen.

Rachel is consulting for Lindex, but she is tired and cranky and wants to go home. Being super prego and running around in heels all day has caught up to her. She is also extremely annoyed about the Brad story. Rachel goes home and immediately stomps into her room screaming she wants to be alone.

After a long nap sleeping in all her clothes and her hideous beanie hat, a 34-weeks pregnant Rachel admits she is over-doing things. Rodger encourages her to slow down for her health and the health of their son. He reminds Rachel when that little baby appears she’s not going to care about fashion week. Rachel immediately looks perturbed – has Rodger lost his mind?! This baby is tagging along with her to Fashion Week, ’cause its like the most important thing EVER. Rodger thinks they need to redefine happiness, but Rachel is perfectly fine defining happy as Vintage Chanel.

Rodger calls Pamela for a Rachel-vention. After inundating her with all the info and begging her to come, he finally gets around to inquiring about how things going in Pam’s life? How much do they pay her to pretend she cares? Pamela agrees to drop her life and fly out for a last minute Save Rachel mission.

On her way to pick out jewelry from the Tiffany’s Archival Collection for the Oscars, Rachel is ill with a cold. She finds it ironic that the sickest week of her pregnancy happens to be on Oscar week. She muses that she is excited to be sharing such an enormous Oscar moment with Annie. She is also excited her Chanel jackets fit or else she’d be running around naked.

Pamela arrives and reveals she had to stuff her kids with some distant relative in order to come deal with Rachel. Pamela looks annoyed that Mandana is blabbering on and on all about Rachel; telling her all the things to be worried about, like Pammie hasn’t been putting up with this for years. Seriously – it’s PREGNANCY PEOPLE, not some horrid incurable disease no one has heard of! Why are they act so dire about everything?!

Rachel phones in a last-minute Versace couture for Anne as a just in case dress, but it looks like bad flamenco and is the color of Jolly Green Giant. Rachel loves it though! Anne, obviously had the good sense to not love it since it wasn’t seen on the Red Carpet.

Flouncing into her office, Rachel barley acknowledges Pamela and immediately starts talking about herself. Eventually she seems to recognize that something odd is going on, like her sister who lives in NY is sitting at the table staring at her and Rachel gets that feeling of dread that she is trouble for something. Pamela gives Rachel a heart-to-heart about slowing it down and putting things in perspective, like her baby comes first. Rachel just stares at her blankly and repeats “Oscars” over and over. The look on Pam’s face, was like: ‘Bitch I am over you. You think I want to sit here and pretend to care about your stupid fashion crap when I have my own life and far better hair? Get over yourself!’

I wonder if Rachel is scared that during her maternity leave, her team will steal clients and bail out on her. She has a pathological fear of not being in control of everything.

Rachel is going to the Tom Ford opening. And even though she is sick and super pregnant, Rodger knows he is not going to stop her from going to anything Tom Ford. While getting ready for the party, Rachel receives a call from The Hollywood Reporter, who is doing an issue on the 25 most influential stylists in Hollywood and they want to feature Rachel on the cover. Rodger keeps bringing up the little detail of her being 9-months pregnant and needing to take it easy, but Rachel is doing this anyway, dammit! Rachel and Joey decide the reason Rodger is so bitchy is that he is pregnant too.

Rachel has another freakout about getting dressed, because instead of something fabulous she is stuck with leggings. She eventually settles on some sequined tunic, which looks really cute with tights, that she dubs a “hooker pregnant dress.” Rodger thinks she looks very pretty and wants to stay at the event an hour, max.

Seven hours later they are home. Just kidding!

It’s Oscar day and Rodger is looking forward to spending the day alone since Rachel and her people are all busy running around hysterically. Rachel is off to The Kodak Theater to finalize the wardrobe lineup and help get Annie ready.

Rachel is wearing super high heels and a mini-dress and Joey makes her nervous when he asks if she has a plan for going into labor at the Oscars. Rachel gives him a look that says: “die” because she has NO plan for something that is NOT going to happen. Dressing hostess Anne Hathaway for this event is the biggest moment of her life and nothing – NOTHING – is going to ruin. But what if her water breaks on a couture dress, Joey wants to know? Rachel informs him that she saw Diane Von Furstenberg, who said the baby hasn’t dropped, so she isn’t going into labor. Oh, is DVF an OBGYN, now? I hadn’t heard…

On her way home, Rachel and Rodger discuss celebrating their anniversary that evening and ordering dinner to watch the Oscars. Of course, Rachel’s team starts barging in the door, annoying an already frustrated Rodger.

Rachel orders dinner and dispatches “corporate bitch” Jerewhinah to pick it up. He is miffed because why does he always have to be the one to do annoying menial tasks?! Can’t Rodger do it – no one likes him anyways! Then Rachel and Rodger give each other their anniversary gifts. Rachel gets a brand new SUV since she never drives. And Rodger gets a bike for some odd reason. Seriously – it was like the most staged Price is Right crap I’ve ever seen in my life.

As the team settles in to watch Annie on the Red Carpet, Rachel decides she is happy. Maybe because she ate something.

Next Week: Jeremiah messes up on a photoshoot, leaving Rodger wondering what his future is with the company. Rachel does a final photoshoot before maternity leave.

Thoughts on the episode and Anne’s Oscars looks? Do you think Rachel is over-doing it for her condition? Do you think Brad really stole clients from Rachel or is he just a better stylist?