Survivor Recap: It’s All About the Benjamin

Last night’s Survivor gave us a peek into a changing, slightly crazier Coach, who we are sure to see more of in upcoming episodes. The duel pitted friend against friend, and the immunity challenge was just a whole lot of gross, gagging nastiness.

Stacey joins her biffle Christine on Redemption Island. Stacey relays to Christine all the lying and drama that has been going on with the Upolu. She tells Christine that Coach is the ring-leader (and the pot stirrer), and that all the people in the blue tribe are heading to hell wearing gasoline drawers. If Stacey ever gets tired of being a mortician, she can take her one-liners on the road.


Brandon wakes up the rest of his tribe to read some tree-mail. He believes that Mikayla is classless and prejudiced for being wary that he is a Hantz. He’ll find anything to throw that harlot under the bus so she’ll stop blatantly trying to seduce him with her sultry ways. And apparently in Brandon’s mind, the longer she’s starved and showerless in the jungle, the more sultry she becomes. Albert and Mikayla are chosen to watch the duel. Coach is sweating bullets that one of the ousted Upolu will spill details about just how disjointed their former tribe is to the witnesses from Savaii who turn out to be Dawn and Whitney.

Benjamin Coach has reason to be worried. Stacey can’t relay fast enough to Dawn and Whitney what liars the Upolu are, led by the Survivor veteran. Stacey refuses to call Coach by his nickname…she is going to call him by his grown-up name. The duel reminds me of that gumball machine where a ball is dropped down a chute to spiral through slides and tunnels before popping out at the end. Christine and Stacey must catch each ball as it exits the maze and put them quickly back in the top to make its way down again. More balls are added as time goes on, and the first person to miss (not catch) a ball that comes out at the bottom of the chute is headed home.

Christine wishes her only Upolu ally good luck, and I kind of hate that they have to be up against one another. Stacey doesn’t seem to be using any sort of strategy when it comes to adding balls. Christine has a few near misses, however, Stacey misses a ball. It’s once again the Christine Show…she is certainly the one to beat from Redemption Island. Mikayla convinces Albert not to speak to Stacey as she leaves (like she cares), but it once again shows the cattiness of the Upolu. Albert is worried how Dawn and Whitney will perceive Stacey’s outburst.

Back at Upolu, Albert fills in his tribe mates regarding what went down at the duel. Coach goes a bit loony and threatens to go crazy on anyone who calls him “Benjamin” to his face. Even his parents call him “Coach.” Duh. I think that the other tribe members may have gotten a glimpse that ol’ Benjamin Coach may not be as easy-going as he seems. On the Savaii side of the island, Elyse and Ozzy are getting closer. Elyse is living in a dream world believing that Team Pretty is untouchable. Cochran has realized that Ozzy may actually be kind of lazy while he’s busting his butt around the camp.

Dawn and Whitney return with the news that Upolu is far from unified and that Coach is running the show. Ozzy off-handedly muses that if he were Coach, he’d have his right-hand man Albert next on the chopping block. This only solidifies Marijuana Jim’s notion that he can’t trust Ozzy, as he is Ozzy’s go-to guy. He sees this as his opportunity to scare Keith (Ozzy’s other main man) into voting off Elyse. I love to see MJ figure out different ways to stir the pot…literally and figuratively. Get it? Pot? He peddles medicinal marijuana? Sorry…it’s never a good joke if it needs explaining, but I still couldn’t resist. 🙂

Albert is searching high and low for the immunity idol. He feels that when the tribes merge, he’ll have a target on his back for being associated so strongly with Coach. He is actually able to find the clue which is mildly impressive. It seems that I have gotten my wish to see more of Albert, although I didn’t quite need for it to be in a snorkeling mask. Albert decides that the idol is too hard for him to find on his own, so he wants to enlist Sophie and Coach in an effort to garner more trust from them. He is either the dumbest person to play this game or the most brilliant. I’m reserving judgment for now. Coach starts praying that he’ll be the one to find it on his own. Ask and ye shall receive…Coach finds the immunity idol, and he shares the news with Albert and Sophie while annoyingly constantly referring to himself in the third person.

Cochran and Ozzy are heading out to fish, and it’s Cochran’s first time on the boat. He wants to prove himself as someone who is able to provide for the tribe. Ozzy admits that fishing is pretty difficult, dubbing it ‘underwater yoga.’ He believes that that more fish he can catch, the more the Savaii becomes ‘his’ tribe. Again, Cochran is not buying it. Catching a few fish doesn’t make up for the other twenty-three hours in the day when he’s a lazy, albeit hot, hippie.

Ew, ew, ew. The immunity challenge involves a roasted pig…face on. With hands tied behind their backs, each team must pull off as much meat as they can to spit into a basket. After ten minutes, the team that spits the most pork in the basket wins. This is absolutely disgusting. Keith gets a giant hunk of meat stuck in his teeth which Dawn grabs with her mouth like a baby bird taking a worm from its mother. Jeff Probst’s voice tells me that Albert almost knocks over the Upolu basket. Marijuana Jim apparently gags into the Savaii basket. According to the commentary, a lot of people are getting meat stuck in their teeth, forcing their tribe mates to pull it out for them. Someone dropped a mouthful on the ground which Mikayla quickly retrieved. If you can’t tell, I stopped watching very early into this challenge because I didn’t want to lose my dinner.

The Savaii tribe managed to pull off over twenty-two pounds of pork using only their mouths. However, Upolu wins immunity by two ounces of meat. As a reward, they get some veggies and bread to eat with all the meat the collected. Gag and gag. The Upolu celebrates at their barbeque, and Coach’s victory chew makes him seem a tad more unhinged. Back at Savaii, Cochran is waxing poetic about the fact they’ve probably all gotten cold sores from the mouth contact they shared earlier.

Ozzy finds it super cute that Cochran is working so hard around the camp to seem needed, but it’s too little too late. As far as Ozzy’s concerned, everyone knows Cochran is the weakest link and needs to go. Dawn agrees with Ozzy to his face, but she’s all about dismantling Team Pretty. Marijuana Jim starts on his plan to get Keith on his side, and Keith seems to be on board…until he says he wants to tell Ozzy the plan so he won’t lose his trust. Keith approaches Whitney about voting off Elyse. The two struggle with turning against Ozzy.

At tribal council, Ozzy says it’s too early in the game to be worried about trust. Is this scripted? Jeff Probst is shocked to find out that so many people were injured in the pig chomping challenge. Cochran is pretty much in the hot seat, being dubbed as the guy who is often picked last. I’m starting to think that perhaps Keith and Whitney decided to stick with Ozzy on this one. It seems that Keith and Whitney have decided to throw the vote…both choosing Dawn, so as not to vote off one of their own Team Pretty members, but also wanting the Cochran/Dawn/MJ trifecta’s vote to be the deciding one. Good-bye, Elyse! Both she and Ozzy are shocked.

Next week, Ozzy declares himself a “free agent” as his team has clearly hurt his feelings by voting off his lady love, and Coach is starting to see more Russell than Brandon in this season’s Hantz.