It’s the season finale of television’s most vapid series: The Rachel Zoe Project and Rachel sums it up thusly as: Holy Life Change! After welcoming her baby into the world (no, not the Rachel Zoe collection – Skyler) and expanding her brand to include a designer clothing line; Rachel’s company and personal life has grown, grown, grown!

Rachel marvels that complete bliss and vintage Chanel are not mutually exclusive as she reflects upon the birth of her child and how he has become her everything – not clothes! The Zoes have fallen completely in love with their beautiful son – he is SO adorable – and Rachel does not want to leave him for a minute, so he will be accompanying her to the office! Yeah, maternity leave? Not happening – Company Zoe waits for no baby!


Rachel looks spectacular! Did she seriously lose ALL the baby weight in 3 minutes? Also how come she looks so well-rested for someone who had a baby yesterday? I still look a wreck and I had a baby last year! Maybe it’s her insistence on glamour and her adamant high heel wearing…

Mandana is overseeing a look book photoshoot for the RZ Resort Collection in Rachel’s absence. Mandana is, of course, freaking out and worrying something mahj that Rachel will be disappointed by her choices. Why is she acting so helpless as the VP of a company? I hope it is just an act for drama’s sake. Luckily Rachel arrives to help Mandana pull it together, but unfortunately her attention is divided between her two loves: Joey clothes and Skyler.

Rachel is unable to focus on the shoot and keeps rushing off to attend to the needs of her son. Good mommying, Rach! While she is distracted by infants, I am distracted by her push present. Holy Diamond! Color me jealous much! What do you think weighs more: the baby or the ring? Mandana is exhilarated to take over in Rachel’s absence; she is all business and no baby. Joey explains that having child has made Rachel feel like a human being for once. Instead of a robot fashion monster? Shoe designer, Brian Atwood shows up to the shoot to discuss Rachel’s push present, her aching boobs, and her new baby. Mandana is relieved that Rachel was indisposed and she got to enact her heroine complex and save the shoot. Do you want a cookie, Mandana?

Jeremiah meets with Mandana and discovers Rachel & Co. want him to design a store within a store to display their collection in Bloomingdales. He has been re-hired on as a “freelance decorator” and is to develop a concept for the location. Mandana’s instructions: Don’t f**k it up!

Jeremiah decides he wants the concept to be a Parisian Woman’s Dressing Room or something to that effect. Basically Rachel’s master bedroom. He’s thinking white, upholstery similar to Chanel, and, like, mirrors. He’s so freaked out by the three week deadline he tells us he has no time to poop his pants. Um… yeah, no poop on the collection, Miah!

While everyone else is doing, like, important stuff. Rachel and Rodger are at home cooing and singing to their gorgeous babe. They seem completely devoted to him and I love this human side of them. Rachel tells a bedtime story to Skyler and it is all about the clothes he will someday don. The Three Little Dresses: Gucci, and Pucci, and Prada, Oh My!

Jeremiah is hard at work on the design space. Even though he has never done anything like this before, he is gung-ho but afraid of firing 2.0. He meets with Mandana to go over his concept and map out a more concrete plan, but road block! Mandana pretty much hates everything and complains that the layout will encourage, of all hideous sights, two fat husbands plopped on chairs distracting from the beauty that is this collection. Basically his ideas aren’t really functional for what they need the space to convey and he needs to change, like, all of it. I love how they keep hiring this boy to do jobs he has no previous experience with – at the last minute – and then expecting miracles.

Back at home Rachel is faced with the impossible task of styling her son. And he has options, options, options galore! Rodger doesn’t care what Skyler wears (blasphemy!) and doesn’t want Rachel dressing him like a little girl. Rachel insists it’s “French” and goes on naming all the designers in this infant’s wardrobe. Rodger informs Rachel that some day Skyler might want to wear things like Metallica t-shirts. Rachel covers her ears and begins to rock slowly back and forth, keening: “nooooo”. She is like Mommy, Dearest – can’t you hear her now bellowing: “NO BAND T-SHIRTS!!!!!!!!!!!”

It’s the day of the store within a store install (say “Store within a Store” five times fast!) and Jeremiah is stressed to the max. He has a zillion things to do and the chairs haven’t been delivered yet. Mandana calls while he is painting the backdrop to inform him Rachel is coming that afternoon to investigate the space. Interesting how Mandana keeps calling it “our” clothing. Is she designing the collection now? This girl is too presumptuous. Rachel should watch her back.

Luckily the interns show up with last minute accessories to help Jeremiah put the space together. It looks really great – nice job Jeremiah!

Rachel, Mandana, and Skyler board the Zoeship Enterprise and zoom off into the sun to inspect the showroom. I love how Rachel is driving herself now that she has a new Range Rover she needs to pimp whereas previously she was always driven around so she could talk about herself in the backseat.

Mandana decides to tell Rachel about all the snafus with the project moments before Rachel gets to view it, psyching Rachel up for disliking the space. Is she Jeremiah’s friend or saboteur? Rachel is nervous about the reveal and going into it with a negative attitude, warning that if she hates it she is totes saying something! Immediately Rachel is unhappy because there is only one chair, but luckily there is a second one hiding behind the partition and once he places it in the space Rachel loves everything!

Bloomingdale’s Regional Visual Manager arrives to critique the space and he loves it too so it’s off to call the EVP of Creative Services for the final say if they store within a store can stay. And, of course, he is thrilled too! Immediately he decides to install a Rachel Zoe Store within a store in eight other Bloomingdale’s locations nationwide. Gee, do you think that wasn’t completely staged?

Jeremiah is so proud of himself he tears up and right he should. This company has put this poor desperate famehoochie through hell and now they are finally appreciative of something he accomplished. Rachel calls Jeremiah her “everything” as a reward. Watch out, Joey!

Back at Casa de Zoe, Rodger is complaining about the lack of wifely service he receives now that a baby is in the picture. Like, who is going to make him a sandwich while he sits around sulking and styling his Aging Beiber hair? Rachel makes him a PBJ and tells him to shut the eff up.

After pissing Rachel off with his food demands, like Rachel touches food – hell to the no; Rodger complains about Jeremiah returning to haunt him. Of course, after firing the bugger NOW they need a home authority!. So they decide to rehire him; I mean he’s cute, he does everything they want him to do without complaint, and he’s like a home authority. Whatever that means.

The Zoes are hosting a post-baby BBQ for Team Zoe. Rachel commemorates the occasion by touching meat and making her famous salami recipe. It does look yucky – I’ll take her word for it that’s its delicious. Everyone shows up and goes ga-ga for the salami. If Rachel pooped on pile of cashmere and called it couture these sycophants would squeal and cheer and yell ‘That’s so mahj!’. In other important details: I hate all of Rachel’s hats. Always!

While everyone is salami scarfing, Rodger discovers he can’t work the grill, despite the fact that it looks used many a times. I love Rodger’s attempts to be manly by insisting he loves BBQ-ing and it’s very important to him. Yeah, right. Luckily Jeremiah is on hand to help. Another save by the J-ster! He’s a home authority, all right!

The Zoes are very grateful to their team for their help and support. Rodger gives a “thank-you” toast and Jeremiah receives special recognition. And Rodger asks him to re-join the team. Nothing like putting the kid on the spot! Of course, Jeremiah accepts. Good job Jerrs. You’re back on Team Zoe!

Rodger reveals he has never been happier and Rachel adds: Unless we do it again! Cue baby 2.0! Oh, no – another season of baby, baby, baby coupled with the development of RZ home!

Rachel hops up and gives a toast of her own, echoing that they are so happy and have everything they ever wanted. Good for them. I love that they are so thrilled with their family – fashion and otherwise – and all they have worked for. Rachel cries (really!) and it’s sooo nice to see her express gratitude and be real and down to earth. I love that motherhood has truly changed her. Rachel calls this the biggest year of her life. Congratulations! And see you next season, Fashion-Bots!

PS Did anyone catch the preview for “It’s a Brad-Brad World”? Looks mighty fun!