Top Chef Texas Recap: The Chefs Big Adventure With Pee Wee Herman!

Previously: Chris gets eliminated for the crime of not making his tofu-emulsion chicken salad sandwiches to order.

We return to the Top Chef house with Grayson missing Chris, and the reveal that Ed sleeps in a button down shirt and boxers. Business up top, party underneath! There’s no time to ponder this because it’s time to head back to the kitchen, where Padma awaits them with my dream: a table of 80,000 pancakes. The chefs wonder who the guest judge will be, with Grayson guessing Miley Cyrus, which is incorrect because if it were Miley, the pancakes would be replaced with a giant bong.

Instead, the guest judge is Pee Wee Herman, who non-zygotes may remember from his TV show, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. They have 20 minutes to make pancakes for Pee Wee. Paul has inherited the liquid nitrogen throne from Chris and is making some kind of champagne concoction with it.


When it’s time to taste, Pee Wee makes many weird faces and messes with the chefs by telling all of them theirs is the best pancake he’s ever had, which they seem genuinely confused by. When it’s over, Ed wins the challenge with his “Crispy Pancake Tidbits with Brulee’d Marshmallows, Strawberries, Blueberries, & Bacon.” Can I just say I’d order the hell out of that at brunch? Because I would.

The elimination challenge is to make a family-style lunch for Pee Wee at the Alamo. The chefs have $100, a bike, two turntables, and a microphone. The hard part is they must find a restaurant to cook their food in. Pee Wee tells the chefs his preferences, which amount to : spicy, he loves chicken and he likes to eat healthy to keep that physique.

The chefs get their bikes, backpacks, and maps and are off to the farmer’s market, where they begin their shopping. The chefs all find restaurants to cook in, which conveniently seem to already have camera crews set up at them and employees who are willing to act as sous chefs for our cheftestants! They are so lucky. Lindsay finds a place to cook in, Mad Hatter’s, but instead of beginning to cook, she starts to scavenge some more, even running into Grayson at Rosario’s.

While Lindsay is out, Sara swoops in and takes her space at mad hatter’s. Eventually, the producers find Lindsay finds a place to cook, Frank’s Hot Dog Stand, where their staff conveniently all have time to help her out. The 2 hour cooking time is over and the chefs bike over to the Alamo. Grayson decides it’s a great idea to bike with a hot pan of chicken in her hand.

At the Alamo, it’s our lucky day, because flawless queen Gail Simmons, looking like she’s had an incredible vacation is BACK, but with a bit less cleavage than she is usually rocking. The sweaty chefs come out with all their dishes. Their menu can best be described as chicken five ways.

Pee Wee is a great guest judge, much like Charlize Theron was a few weeks ago and charms the judges. He even suggests a weekly lunch with Tom Collicchio, which would be the MOST AWESOME THING IN THE UNIVERSE.

At judge’s table, Grayson gets criticized for her messy stuffed chicken, with Gail pointing out that while it was supposed to be healthy, she filled it with cheese and bacon. Sarah’s underseasoned eggs also get called out. Sarah acts surprised but she KNOWS WHAT SHE DID.

Lindsay’s beef cheek stuffed zucchini wins the challenge, which is great because she looks like she’s on the verge of a breakdown the entire judge’s table, even though Pee Wee loved her zucchini boats!

During deliberations, Pee Wee says all the food needed ketchup, bringing some much needed levity into the usual pretentious downer that is these discussions. Padma calls Grayson‘s dish out for having the “biggest chicken breast she’s ever seen in her life.” Clearly she’s never been to a Claim Jumper.

Grayson gets sent home, and says she doesn’t regret anything. Well, except maybe that dish she cooked tonight. And that time her choice of a dish got her team mate sent home.

The final four head back to judges’ table, where they are told about the Last Chance Kitchen web show, and that one of the eliminated chefs will be back. I want it to be Beverly, if only because it will annoy Sarah, and when Sarah is annoyed, I laugh.