Jersey Shore Recap: Inside, Outside, Upside Down

Oh, Jersey Shore, how I love you…let me count the ways. I love you when you’re camping, when you incite food fights, and when you bring home grenades. I love you when you wear furry Ewok boots and need to blur out your private area because you forgot to put on underwear. I love it all.

Mike failed to execute his master plan on the last episode, so he takes an opportunity to take Jionni aside. He tells Snooki’s boyfriend that Snooks has totally seen the Sitch’s P while Ryder was hooking up with the Helium. Mike hopes that Jionni can respect his admission, man-to-man. Jionni shakes Mike’s hand and then crawls back in bed with Snooki to relay the Situation’s most recent situation. Snooks looks worried in the night vision cam, but seem legitimately concerned when the producers switch to full-on regular lighting. Jionni asks Nicole if Mike is being honest, but he continues to spoon Snooki as she laughingly declares Mike a liar.


Mike is serving as an international spy, listening to the breakfast chatter while hovering on the stairs. He tells Rawn of his conversation with Jionni. Sam is concerned that Jionni doesn’t care about Nicole since he won’t react to Mike’s confession. Mike knows that Snooki will one day thank him for his honesty with Jionni. Nicole takes this opportunity to throw a bunch of crap in the Situation’s direction. Nicole is relieved not surprised that Jionni couldn’t care less about Mike’s declaration. Mike tells Pauly and Vinny about the Jionni confession and hand shake, and the VP believes that the only reason Jionni took the news so lightly is because he has girls on the side.

Snooki hopes that Jionni will propose “sometime…within the future.” The couple exchange an intricate handshake/high-five/fist pump that they will hopefully bestow on their unborn child. At Sunday dinner, the group decides to rough it on a camping trip, while Snooki continues to laughingly throw food at Mike. According to Vin, it’s no longer a fun food fight…this shiz is personal. Pauly does everything in his power to protect his tennis shoe collection from stray leftovers, while Snooki calls Mike onto the patio where the food fight gets real…real fast.

Both Snooki and Mike are laughing (?) while launching curdled milk and spicy mustard at one another. Vinny hates to hear his name brought into the argument. Snooki takes the food fight one step further and goes to flail around in Mike’s bed, making sure that mustard, icing, and hot dogs get embedded in his twin bed sleeping quarters. It turns from a food fight to a full on screaming match, with the roommates watching. All of the shore mates are thinking what Vinny says…Snooki is clearly lying, and as much as he hates to say it, Mike is telling the truth. Snooki is protesting too much to be innocent.

Rawn and the meatballs are working at the Shore Store for the last time of the summer and discussing the gangs’ upcoming camping trip. The MVP is all about the GTL. Deena invites a hesitant Joey to hang out for the evening. The girls in the house are still wary of Joey and think he’s using Deena. Deena is worried she’s forcing a relationship, but what else can one do when you’re the only single person in the shore house? Um, you hang with MVP. That’s what you do.

Pauly and Vinny try to talk some sense into Deena regarding Joey. Pauly and Vin are the quintessential big brothers who think that Deena is settling for less than what she deserves. Deena didn’t believe the girl roommate hate, but if VP says it, Joey must be a douche. Pauly intercepts a Joey-call on the duck phone, telling Joey that Deena is sick. The roommates think if Joey really cared, he’d offer to bring her soup. J-Woww answers the next Joey-call and basically breaks up with him (were they really even dating?) for Deena.

MVP is going to Aztec in all their skinny-jeaned glory. Rawn is joining the ladies at a different bar, sans Nicole, who wants to cuddle with Jionni. Deena isn’t happy…her meatball has abandoned her for sex. At Aztec, Mike is trying really hard to land a grenade groupie. Rawn and his harem go out, and he should be worried about how many furry boots he’s with this evening. Deena and Jenni remember a simpler time, a Jionni-free time, a time when Nicole was always willing to be a bigger dumbass then they were at the bar. That’s quite a feat, y’all. It brings Deena to tears.

Pauly is bringing an extra girl home for Vinny. Will Vin choose the cute girl or the thick girl? Thick. Cute girls are boring. The scene pans to one of the guys desperately trying to grab a condom out of the box by the light of the night vision camera. This show is nothing, if not classy. After the “ladies” leave the following morning, the gang heads out to go camping. Really? Pauly D is upset he won’t get to tend to his blowout in the wilderness, so he decides to stay home with Vinny. It’s prank time! The boys recruit Shore Store boss Danny to help execute the most ridiculous prank ever.

After shopping for camping supplies, the remaining roommates head into the forest. Mike–duh–makes inappropriate jokes about pitching tents. Rawn is impressed with both Mike and Jenni’s tent pitching abilities. He’s not as good. Back at the house, Vin and Pauly are executing the prank to end all pranks. They are moving the indoor furniture outside, and bringing the outside in. The boys are trying their best to replicate the den on the patio. Since they can’t move the hot tub indoors, the pair blows up a baby pool to make their vision happen. As Pauly says, “It takes team work to make a dream work.” So true, Pauly, so true. Danny brings manpower and Astroturf to make the indoors look like the porch. Even the rooftop hammock is sitting by the duck phone. Priceless.

At the campsite, Mike is trying to burn a giant Ficus tree in the name of a campfire. Deena calls him a hermaphrodite. I’d correct her with pyromaniac, but she was probably right the first time. Mike begins pacing and Jenni calls him out for being paranoid. He’s not paranoid he’s coked out vulnerable. The girls think he’s weird. They are right. A drunk and single Deena gets sad that she can’t hang with her coupled up girlfriends like they used to do. Snooki thinks that Deena is jealous, but she is sad that her friend his hurt. Jenni just doesn’t want anyone to think she’s a different person now that she’s happily dating Roger. The following day, Mike yells at Jenni for not helping pack up the campsite. Jenni yells at Mike because he won’t kill a spider for her. What have we learned folks? Guidos shouldn’t camp.

Vin and Pauly are waiting with bated breath for the roommates to return and revel in their inside is outside/outside is inside mega-prank. Might I mention they are also wearing snorkels and sunscreen while drinking in the baby pool. I so heart them. It is a pretty amazing prank. The campers return. Cue the screams.

Next week, on the season finale (already?), Mike is less than impressed by the prank to end all pranks. Vinny tries his hand at converting lesbians, and Sam is actually going to miss the shore house for once.