X Factor Contestant Rules Revealed; Plus Video Footage Of Why Simon Cowell Is The Best Mentor!

As if Khloe Kardashian having to share the stage with sister Kim's ex-husband Damon Thomas wasn't enough (I'm still crossing my fingers they'll end up biffles–how hilarious would that be?), now we have a list of the X Factor's contestants' house rules.  Admittedly, while I love a singing competition, much of my viewing of them comes from YouTube clips.  You all have to remember Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent audition, right?  I get teary just thinking about it.  Simon Cowell, the hardazz, chewing on his pen while falling in love?  Priceless!

That said, I've been lukewarm on the X Factor thus far this season.  I was actually glad that Britney Spears didn't turn into the train wreck that seemed to be expected of her, and after getting Demi Lovato's newest song stuck in my head 24/7 and knowing her struggles, I like her as well.  Who is there for me to snark on if I like everyone involved?  Thankfully, knowing what the contestants are and aren't allowed to do, I have a new outlet, and it's awesome.  Let's face it, the rules I'm about to share with you are less about compliance and more about human decency and common sense.  Thankfully, peeps who are trying to make their name on reality television have neither!


TMZ has garnered a list of what contestants are forbidden from doing when co-habitating in the X Factor mansion (which, if you look closely enough, you'll recognize from American Idol...way to be different!  Perhaps Simon got a discount having rented the house before…) and it's a doozy.

While contestants are forbidden from biting and showing others their genitalia (um, I thought this was good television!?!?), here is a list of other things they aren't allowed to do:

No intermingling in bedrooms

Coasters must be used WITH ALL DRINKS

No loud music

No physical altercations of any kind (not just biting)

No guests

"Be sensitive to others"

No drinking or drugs

No diving into the pool

No use of fireplaces 

Make your own bed

Well duh!  No one should be diving if there is no lifeguard on duty!  This isn't some willy-nilly adventure reality show like Amazing Race.  Gracious!  And who wouldn't use coasters?  People who shouldn't win singing contests, that's who!  I am shuddering thinking that there are people who listen to blaring music sans coasters.  Gah!!  I really don't even know what to do with this information that is clearly for imbeciles.  Thank you, X Factor, for making some super serious rules!
Speaking of, Fox is cashing in on the election craziness that is going on these days with a hilarious promo touting Simon Cowell for…[Insert Barney Stinson here saying it's a legend but he can't have…wait for it…dairy!] best mentor.  While we all know that's not technically "a thing" the video is hilarious.  Watch it below.
[Photo Credit: Nikki Nelson and Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com]