Sister Wives Recap: Meet the Dargers!

Oh, Sister Wives!  Thank you so much for introducing me to the Dargers.  TLC, what do you say about a Darger spin-off?  Kody Brown would be livid!

We started last night with Kody going over plans for each of the four homes.  How are these people affording these homes?  The wives, except Janelle, are all getting totally greedy with their need for extra bedrooms and wet bars and offices.  I am predicting this season doesn't end well for the Browns.

After squaring away the blueprints, the family can look forward to their family vacation with some polygamist friends…because that's normal!  The Dargers aren't the same faith as the Browns.  Instead they are "independent polygamists" which must be some kind of code for dude who wanted to marry more than one lady.  Joe Darger married two women, Alina and Vicki, on the same day, one of whom looked to be about fourteen at the time, and then ten years later married Val who is Vicki's twin sister.  Talk about sharing everything!  I'm more than a tad skeezed out because not only will they actually be SISTER wives, the kids will be sibling-cousin hybrids…and among the three of them, there are twenty-three children.  The double marriage was arranged by Joe's mom.  Lovely.


The Dargers and the Browns are a bit opposite.  For example, Joe is totally bald while we all know the unfortunateness that is Kody's hair.  Also, the Darger women seem to take a little better care of themselves than the Brown ladies, although they are all totally shopping at Chicos.  We learn a lot about the Dargers, including that Val was previously in another plural marriage which she left for the sake of her children.  When she went to seek her sister's support, she also found a new husband.  Vicki couldn't have been happier that her sister and her husband had a spark.  Whoa.

The Browns are not anywhere near as organized as the Dargers.  Watching Kody try to pack a van is highly hilarious.  All of the Brown women seem to be crushing on big, bad Joe Darger.  The fleet of vans heads to southern California.  Once they get to their rental homes, Joe once again takes charge, and Christine and Meri are visibly swooning.  All fifty of the family members head to a lagoon to partake in fun water activities such a jet skiing and paddle boarding.  Christine is practically foaming at the mouth to arrange courtships between some of the Brown kids and some of the Darger kids. 

That evening, all of the adults get together to discuss the trials and tribulations of polygamy.  Alina lost a baby at five months old due to a heart defect, and she was so worried she was going to lose her kids when the state investigation questioned their polygamous lifestyle.  Alina remembers her grandfather being in prison for being a polygamist.  Kody believes that his family being public is helping other families like the Dargers.

Once again Christine is in awe of the Dargers and how trim they all are.  The Dargers seem to be the perfect plural family.  They don't get jealous of affection shared towards one of their sister wives.  In theory, the Browns want to be the same.  Of course in practice, it doesn't work out as well. 

Meanwhile, all of the teenaged kids are meeting up for shakes, and the Brown girls are totally crushing on Caleb Darger…and I can't say I blame them.  He's such a cutie, and he doesn't want to be in a plural marriage.  Sorry MariahSamuel Matthews (Val's son from her first marriage) is starting to consider taking in a couple ladies though.  Logan tries to compete, but it's clear that the Browns are just one big ball of chaos.  The girls are in awe that the Darger moms are able to share a kitchen.

Over dinner, Joe Darger wonders if the Browns will be happy living in such separate quarters.  Vicki (or Val?) suggests that the entire family shares a kitchen and all the meal times.  Kody knows that would never work because they've tried it before.  He calls it "abusive."  Apparently his wives' personalities are far too diverse to share anything, and Meri takes the comment personally because she knows that Janelle has had issues with her boorish kitchen behavior in the past when Janelle first joined the family.

The Darger family has a mission statement.  Okay, now they are just showing off, don't you think?  Everyone but Janelle wants one for the Browns.  If she makes it through another season, I'll be shocked!

Next week, the teens head back to Utah to help families in abusive polygamist relationships are dealt with a dose of reality.


[Photo Credit: TLC]