Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami in New York

Apparently while many of us struggle to pay rent, some of us struggle to find ways to spend our money. Oh to be a Real Housewife of Miami

Lisa Hochstein found true love when she received her first Birkin and she's been on a path to reclaim that feeling ever since. In her embarrassingly gushing sollioquy espousing the glory that is Hermes last night she bounced up and down like a five-year-old in a candy store at the thought of amassing more of these glorious $20,000 creatures. They are, after all, so rare that every Housewife in every city owns like 9 of them. #Firkin

In a new blog, Fembot continues her Birkin lovefest. Does she think Hermes will pony up a free bag if she praises them enough? "Lea [Black] and I both love Birkins. She is a seasoned collector," Lisa begins, wishing upon wishes that she were Lea Black instead of upstart Lisa Hochstein. 

"I know it sounds ridiculous to spend that kind of money on a handbag, but I like to look at them as an investment. They hold their value forever if you take good care of them," Lisa explains. How about looking at a college degree as an investment? "Although I have no intention of ever selling my Birkins, many times they are resold for a much higher price." Oh – well good to know. In fact, that's how she can get more. Screw the waiting list and offer to pay off some of the other Housewives debt in exchange for one of their old Birkins! 


Lisa insists this isn't a passing fancy, she like luuuuuuves these bags! "I'm not into buying trendy bags that will eventually go out of style and be worthless if you ever decide you don't want them anymore."

"I guess you could say these Birkin bags are my very guilty pleasure," Fembot adds. "There is nothing wrong with appreciating beautiful material things as long as you give back, which my husband and I do. I just don't announce my donations to the world every chance I can. We just do it." Um… yeah, I don't know if you can call something a "guilty pleasure" when it costs more than most people's cars, but clearly I'm in a different league than Fembot! 

Outside of Birkin talk, Lisa also gives her take on the Bridesmaid wars. 

"Joanna [Krupa] and Adriana [de Moura]'s issues have nothing to do with me. For her to give me an ultimatum of whose wedding to be in is childish. I don't engage in conversations behind Joanna or Adriana’s back," Lisa says in her own defense. "I'm not a double agent. I'm a Fembot! I'm a grown woman and no one's going to tell me who to be friends with, let alone whose wedding to be in puh-leasse!"

"The fact is if Joanna does not want me to be in her wedding, I simply don't need to be and I could be perfectly happy with just attending as a guest," Lisa says. "Whatever her choice I’ll support it, but I won’t be given ultimatums. Period."

Lisa also takes Joanna to task for insinuating the obvious – that her Miami friends don't work! "Joanna’s birthday dinner scene started with an outright insult towards her 'friends in Miami' in her interview. She said that her friends in LA are very hardworking and accomplished as opposed to her friends in Miami. I did take offense to that."

"The reason being that Joanna said, 'Lisa needs to go get a job and go have a baby,' a few times in the press and in her previous interviews. Now this. It’s getting really old and making her sound bitter, because she constantly repeats it," Lisa complains. "In this case it clearly is an insult/dig towards me. Very passive aggressive."

Lisa says she has always worked and landed her first job at Dairy Queen at 14. Since marrying Lenny and moving to Miami, things changed and she switched her pursuits to helping various charities. "My whole live I have worked," Lisa states. "I had to struggle and prove myself my whole life. I would sometimes work 3 jobs a day. Since meeting my husband 6 years ago, I felt very lost in Miami as there really wasn't much work for me here."

She adds that she's soon launching a skin care line (OH HEAVENS NO – NOT ANOTHER ONE!) and dedicating herself to her dreams of becoming a mother. "I think Joanna should get the facts straight before she says these things that sound so ignorant."

Here's my two cents on Lisa: I feel like she's trying to be someone she's not this season. Last season I think she felt she came across as cheesy and a little silly next to established society gals like Lea and clearly that's what she envisions for her life. She's gotta ditch the plastic surgery first!  This season she's trying to come across as witty, whimsical, and well Lea-ish! It's not working, she seems fake. 

There's moments when 'the real Lisa' (how's that for an oxymoron!) emerges and she's fun and silly. I also think she's pretty unhappy and lonely. She married a rich man, who's never home. She doesn't appear to have many hobbies or friends, her family is far away, she really wants children, and she doesn't have a career, yet she is surrounded by women who do. 

Hopefully she'll find her passion! 

[Photo Credit: TNYF/]


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