Shahs Of Sunset Recap: Fresh Off The Boat


Last night's episode of Shahs of Sunset was intense – but extremely producer driven. That was beyond transparent. Basically, Adam Neely found a skinnier, cuter, nicer gay Persian to hang out with, and Reza Farahan felt insecure and jealous. Think Mercedes "MJ" Javid meeting Lilly Ghalichi for the first time.

I believe Reza had issues with Sasha,  but I definitely do not believe this was their first ever encounter. I think Reza is a very mean-spirited and disrespectful person, and the producers used it to their advantage this week. 

First up, Mike Shouhed visits a dermatology and hair restoration clinic to find out if his hair needs professional help, as his asshat of a friend Reza has suggested.  Then Mike bring Reza for moral support – Mike doesn't need hair help, he needs brain help.  Reza never stops making fun of Mike.  Mike puffs out his chest and says he's going to shave Reza's head and mustache ("that Burt Reynolds looking mother f–ker") while he's sleeping. Yeah, sure.

So, a doctor examines Mike's full head of thick black hair, then determines he's not balding.  What. A. Nail. Biter.  But the scene wasn't all for naught – we learn Mike suffers from ear dandruff. As well as poor taste in best friends.


MJ and Vida share a golf lesson this week. MJ wears booty short and wedges. Vida wears – dare I say it? – a smile. They actually have fun together. 

Asa Soltan Rahmati decides it's time to formally introduce her parents to Diamond Water. She needed to wait until the project was ready enough for her parents to fully understand water and her vision for water in a bottle. I mean, artists cannot spring brilliantly artsy ideas such as this on regular folk all willy nilly, or minds will blow. 

Asa leads her parents through the bottling factory which will someday fill ten – give or take eight – bottles of Diamond Water. "Mom doesn't understand what I do," says Asa. "But she sees this big factory that's working on my vision, and I think she's beginning to understand that the priestess is working. all. the. time." Asa's parents are impressed, but I definitely think they're under the impression that Asa built the entire factory and all the equipment from the ground up. You take that away – and it's just water. In a bottle.


Reza comes home from work to Adam hanging out with Sasha, their gay Persian neighbor. Reza clearly feels threatened by Sasha's presence, and I think if he thought he'd get away with it, he'd pee on Adam to mark his territory. He hisses insults at Sasha instead. Reza asks what they've been chatting about, and Sasha says, "Adam heard some bad stuff about Iran, and I'm trying to change his mind." Reza tells Sasha that he doesn't know what he's talking about since he was born after the Iranian Revolution of 1979. 

Reza disses Sasha for being on the "far end of the gay spectrum" and for being "very out loud" gay. He even chastises him for wearing short shorts and tanks tops in West Hollywood. Sasha stands his ground against the almighty Reza, but in an attempt to get more comfortable, he makes the mistake of putting his bare foot on Reza's chair. Reza looses his mind, slams Sasha for being (FOB) fresh off the boat, and tells him to get out of his house. Sasha says calling him FOB is rude and uncalled for, Reza dismisses Sasha's feelings because it's a true statement. Sasha counters, you're fat, but it'd still be rude to say it to your face. "Get the f–k out of my house," yells Reza. "Get to steppin'."

Adam walks Sasha out, telling him that one must always walk on eggshells and watch what they say around Reza. Whatever. This show is due for someone to give Reza a taste of his own medicine. Sasha for the win. 

MJ meets up with Leila Gharache to paint walls, eat lunch, and drink wine. MJ mostly drinks.  Not so much paints.  Meanwhile, Lilly's on the hunt for bikini fabric, and she takes the opportunity to tell us how exceptionally gifted she is at finding the perfect fabrics, designing bikinis, being a hot girl, negotiating prices, and taking selfies. Not so much picking bangs. 

Asa's working on her visual art, which is supposed to tell the three chapters of her life, from Iran to Germany to America, and explain how she came to be who she is today. And she shows us how she'll project images of herself onto her body. "The act of projecting something onto your body is such a violent thing." I'm not even going to pretend I understand what she's talking about. 

Reza, Adam, Mike, Jessica, and MJ go to a Middle Eastern gay club on the East Side. This is Mike's idea, and he think it'll be great for Reza. It's not. Reza turns up his nose at the "low end" club, as well as the armpits inside. He judges a guy simply because he thinks he's too old and too fat to be wearing jewelry in his ear. Says the guy who is a walking billboard for immature antics. 


Reza spots Sasha at the club. (Thanks, Bravo.  Couldn't have done it without you.) Reza can't take his eyes off of Sasha, and I'll never understand why people go out of their way to interact with people they do not like. Rather than ignore, Reza stares him down and points him out to everyone as the Persian queen who disrespected his chair and called him fat. Boohoo, Reza. Don't you know you have to have thick skin to run with this crowd? 

MJ approaches Sasha, then passive aggressively pretends to care about his take on the apartment showdown. Reza slithers up to tell Sasha that he's out of line to be talking to his friends. To the camera, Reza admits, "Seeing him brings up every negative emotion inside of me, and I want to attack." Mike implores Sasha to apologize to Reza for what went down at the apartment. Sasha insists he didn't do anything wrong and refuses to apologize. Reza turns what could have been a mature, civil conversation into a side show by sceaming "Check yourself, bitch!" and "Bounce!" at Sasha, as well as calling Sasha's brother a "f-g".  Reza storms out of the club, with MJ and Adam obediently following behind, while completely ignoring an appalled Mike.

Mike stays behind and talks to the brothers. For reasons I'll never understand, Mike still wants Sasha to apologize to Reza. "No thanks," says Sasha. "I'm flamboyant. I own it. I love it. This is who I am." Sasha's brother shares that he left a lucrative life in Iran to get away from the kind of hate Reza just spewed at him. He's terribly upset, as is Sasha. Mike makes no excuses for Reza.


Photo credit: Bravo

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