sister wives

It's finally arrived…that dagnabbit commitment ceremony on the finale of Sister Wives.. It certainly took long enough, didn't it? The celebration of Kody Brown and his women is in full force. This party is much bigger than it needs to be I anticipated with 200 guests and multiple items from the rental company…not to mention 7000 individual servings of food. Yes, you read that correctly. Meri's sister is at the helm of the kitchen with her mom is in charge of determining the portion sizes. She loves math. The kitchen looks like a Pinterest nightmare. 

The event planner pretends to be excited about the inauguration of the mission statement. The wind is whipping through the cul-de-sac compound, and canvas displays and strings of lights are swirling around like Dorothy's house. Thankfully, fashion designer Sam has enlisted her mother to help with the dresses. I am concerned that Sam is going to snap. Janelle is missing a sleeve and Robyn is missing a dress. Sam has totally given up on the Meri's colossal nightmare. Can you blame her? 


Meri's is excited about shopping with her best friend Andrea and Christine gives her sister wife a hard time…aren't the wives supposed to be her besties? Did Andrea help raise her daughter? Is Andrea married to her husband? Christine is insulted that Meri has friends outside their family unit…except it means she's spared from shopping with the ever-picky Meri. She's let Meri have Andrea. Andrea is helping Meri find a dress since her original upholstery nightmare isn't going forward. In fifty-nine minutes, the duo is able to find Meri a green dress on sale for $59. Robyn is still super worried about her gown. Dress making is a pain, she whines. Perhaps they shouldn't have asked one recent design school grad to sew four dresses from scratch in less than three weeks.  Just a thought…

The teens are planning a special surprise for their parents, but they are worried the younger siblings won't be able to keep a secret. The young ones are insulted…they won't spill the beans. Eh, I'm not sure I'm convinced, but it's a sweet sentiment. Robyn and Meri are freaking out about the upcoming ceremony. They are in desperate need of another rehearsal. Kody finds this to be unnecessary, and he doesn't want to deal with any control freaks when he's got a lighting disaster on his hands. Meri doesn't listen and commands an impromptu rehearsal for anyone who is available. This is certainly the most organized shindig I've every witnessed. Um, sure…

The rehearsal actually goes smoothly save for Kody because the kids are actually behaving. I guess they were scared of being kicked out of the family. Later Kody laments about how he shouldn't have embarked on this great lighting escapade at the last minute. Of course, they do everything at the last minute, so I don't know why he's so surprised. Speaking of last minute, none of the dresses are finished. Janelle is happy that hers is flattering, and she certainly has more patience than the rest of them. Honestly, I think she's just given up.  Robyn is trying not to let her face show how disappointed she is in her ensemble which reminds me of the bad guy from Strawberry Shortcake. What was his name? Sour Grapes? Sam shoots it to her straight…she needs to chuck this design and find something in her closet.

The morning of the ceremony, the wives are having their hair and make-up professionally done. Meri's family has taken over the kitchen and is cooking up a storm, while Kody has enlisted his brother to finish the mess he started with the Christmas lights. Kody hops in the hairdresser's chair for a quick beard trim, and Robyn cannot believe how sexy he looks. Gag. The tree cake is phenomenal, and the professional photographer is taking pictures of Kody and each wife and their kids. All of the sons are sporting new suits. Seriously, how much did they flipping spend on all of this? In the eleventh hour, Janelle's dress is finished and she is thrilled with how it fits her.  She does look great. 

The guests are arriving as the family tries to take a group photo. The youngest kids are having meltdown, as is Kody. He's screaming and smiling at the same time. Unlike his wives and children, he's had to be in every last picture…well, dumbass, that's because you married four women! After almost losing it, he decides to take a moment to compliment each of his children. The family marches into the backyard where Kody hogs the mic and bores the crowd with the history of the mission statement. He then reads it. You won't be surprised to learn the mission statement is soothing to Christine. You also won't be shocked to know that Robyn cries when reading her portion. Next, everyone signs it, like a yearbook. Then there is the ceremonial pouring of the colored sand (Christine is seriously giddy) before Robyn passes out her tree jewelry. I feel badly those boys have to pretend to like those cuffs. The family then plants a tree as a symbol of their family. I hope the guests had booze. Madison announces the kids' surprise, and each child shares what they are grateful for in their family. It's actually very sweet. What's left? Dancing the night away, of course!  And it is quite some dancing…


[Photo Credit: TLC]

Click here to read our Comment Policy