Last night was the season premiere of Married To Medicine and things kicked off with a bang! Dr. Heavenly Kimes, dentist, not doctor, definitely brought her a-game in the drama department and wants it known she is not to be trifled with.
But let's begin with last season's drama! Mariah Huq and Quad Webb-Lunceford are not friends. There are varying accounts of why said friendship broke up, but one account is clearly rooted in the same deep-seated delusion that allows one to think lime green eyeshadow smeared up to your eyebrows looks hot. Yaaaaaas, I'm talking about Mariah!
While Quad is worrying about how to thwart Dr. Gregory's babymaking attempts now that she's quit her job to flounce around in lingerie, design dog clothes, and do photo shoots with designers to prove her divatude, Gregory has baby fever. Quad worries that since they've only been married a year she's not ready. Gregory points out that she's on the "backend of 30" and he is 13-years-older so no time like the present to ditch the condoms and get at it!
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While Quad seems to have moved on, Mariah hosts a dinner party where the topic of conversation is Quad's envy and bullying. Mariah explains last season was a "wakeup call" and she needs to spend more time with her family. So, even people contractually obligated to play her friends on TV don't want to hang out with her? Got it!
Mariah's mother Lucy looks younger than she does, which is a mess, but Mariah's parenting advice is an even bigger mess! Upon hearing that her son Ian is being bullied by a girl, Mariah advises him to, "Hit it and quit it!" Meaning knock said girl out and then walk away. Now we know that's how Mariah rolls, but is she serious advising her son to hit a girl and deal with negative situations with violence? #RhetoricalQuestion
Mariah lets her mom and sister trash Quad while she pretends she has no idea why their friendship fell apart. And also why is Quad doing photo shoots with her designer? Mariah believes she made Quad. Made Quad? A human being? Mariah does know that her friends are not fembots she can control and deploy. Oh wait, no, Mariah doesn't know that.
Lucy, who has 16 pounds of bang-weave hanging over her eye like a cougar Jessica Rabbit, sneers, "She envy" about Quad. But Mariah is the one wearing the lime green eyeshadow…
Dr. Jackie Walters spent the morning yanking out a 20-year-old IUD (YUCK!) and the afternoon wondering if she and Curtis should try to expand their family. After battling cancer twice Dr. Jackie was left unable to conceive and thinks they should consider egg donors to have a son. Dr. Simone Whitmore thinks Dr. Jackie is too busy being fabulous to start the baby game. Then she races off to deliver a baby.
When Simone comes home, her husband and sons are eating dinner and she has missed another sporting event. Simone is under far more stress than usual because as she explains, there's "something funny" with her money! After switching to a new electronic billing system she is owed 6-8 months worth of pay and hasn't exactly filled her hubby in on the drama. All the stress is apparently making Dr. Simone act a little wackadoodle, because it turns out she was freaking on Dr. Eugene during Toya Bush-Harris' bowling charity event! Uh-oh!
Which brings me to Dr. Heavenly. Oh Lord save me! She is good friends with Toya and pays her a visit to talk ish on how badly all of her other friends behaved at Toya's charity. She also reminds us that Toya, who has now quit her job to focus on mothering, is not too bright. While yes, that may be true who says that about a good friend?!
The same person who immediately launches in to telling Toya that Dr. Jackie was fat shaming Miss Georgia Plus at her bowling party. Dr. Jackie was unable to stop herself from reminding Miss Plus that being overweight is not healthy and should not be celebrated. "Dr. Jackie has a God complex!" says Heavenly, who is one to talk.
Heavenly will be hosting her own charity event, a black tie gala of some sort that is all doctors and their wives. She hopes it will be a success, but umm… then she does everything in her power to make it unsuccessful by picking fights with her guests and getting into a tit-for-tat with Dr. Simone.
Yes, Dr. Simone and Dr. Heavenly do not get along. Dr. Heavenly explains in a patronizing manner that she is submissive to her husband
a trollish looking man named Dr. Damon, whom she refers to as "Daddy". She ironed his tux (bitch please), she works part-time by choice (her prerogative) and then she leans over to Dr. Simone and whispers in a threatening voice "Don't start s–t with me," so Dr. Damon orders her not to cuss. Dr. Heavenly does her weird laugh and Dr. Simone wonders why they're playing the pimps and hos game while wearing ballgowns? Did I mention Dr. Heavenly credits Mariah for being her fashion inspiration. Just no. Simone classifies Heavenly as just a "doctor's wife".
Speaking of Mariah she has a giant pointy bun on top of her head and is wearing a feathered capelet. When Quad arrives she makes the rounds saying hello, tepidly kisses Mariah last while Mariah bristles about "shadiness" and then stalks off to socialize with people she likes. Luckily there is plenty of drama for Mariah to intervene in and meddle with. Dr. Heavenly decides it's the perfect time to confront Dr. Jackie about how she lectured Miss Georgia Plus about weight at the bowling party and how that was inappropriate.
Jackie requests that they continue the conversation privately because this is supposed to be a classy event. Simone comes along as moral support and is aghast at Heavenly's overall rudeness. Mariah's hairbun must be serving as an antenna because she gets a alert on the signal and races over on her drama wings to intrude, literally sitting on Dr. Jackie's lap. Dr. Jackie gave her a wicked side-eye, did not move even one inch, and turned her back toward her the entire time.
Heavenly feels Jackie insulted all overweight women and she herself used to be overweight. Jackie explains that heart disease is the leading cause of death in African American women and it is her duty to educate – at all times. She reminds Heavenly that she's not a doctor, she's a dentist, so she wouldn't know. Heavenly's heckles are raised, her halo is off, and the devil horns flare. She is too a doctor! She's a submissive wife and a doctor of teeth. Dr. Jackie explains that she might call her about an abscess but she certainly wouldn't seek her advice about a medical issue. Rude, absolutely but this is Jackie we're talking about. Eventually Jackie and Heavenly reach peace by realizing they both are over-sensitive because of their own struggles – Jackie with breast cancer, which obesity contributes to and Heavenly with losing 70lbs.
Dr. Simone and Heavenly do not reach peace. Heavenly threatens to escort her out with security and they resort to silently glare at each other and Heavenly accuses Simone of being Jackie's guard dog. After that debacle, Simone wanders over to Toya where she is fuming over Simone's freaking on Eugene. "I wasn't touching your man," Simone snaps. It seems SImone is mighty stressed this season and maybe acting a bit out of order.
I also think Toya, as usual, lets herself get influenced by others (like Heavenly!) and made the situation bigger than it was. "Heavenly and Toya came for blood," Simone states. "These bitches came for me." Dr. Heavenly certainly throws a hellacious party!
[Photo Credits: BravoTV]
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF DR. HEAVENLY? WAS SIMONE OUT OF LINE WITH EUGENE? WAS JACKIE OUT OF LINE CONFRONTING MISS GEORGIA PLUS?