I don't know why TLC and ABC didn't think to make last night's episode of Sister Wives as a crossover with Shark Tank. Can you imagine Daymond John or Mark Cuban reacting to Kody Brown's hair and Robyn's whining as they pitched My Sister Wives' Closet? Christine could model the jewelry wearing her finest medieval garb! What a missed opportunity!

The wives are working on a business plan because apparently showing up and just asking for money doesn't work with venture capitalists…they like presentations. It's crazy that rich people won't just give out money to tacky online jewelry boutiques!? Robyn and Kodi are rocking denim tuxedos and whining about goals and differences and hopes and dreams and teamwork. Meri complains, and Janelle is the only one with any sense of vision, organization, and focus. Shocking. Why is she still here? Run, Janelle, run! We'd all support you! Kody decides the family should take a day to figure out where to go from here, which is a great idea considering they have to pitch themselves and their business in twenty days. I love that the two people who claim to be the most invested in this company are the two biggest procrastinators in the Brown bunch. 


As you recall, Robyn didn't take the news very well that Meri is going back to college. Meri wants to take her to lunch to discuss "feelings." Robyn is freaked out that college will take Meri away from the family and My Sister Wives' Closet. Robyn claims to be supportive of Meri who is in tears. Meri is still going to be around to hock their family wares. Robyn's biggest issue is that Meri clearly has a void she needs to fill and that's why she's chosen to go back to school. Clearly, that wet bar didn't fulfill her as much she'd hoped!

The crew heads to see their marriage counselor, and she needs to be paid a lot more. Robyn fills in their therapist that they are trying to build their business, but it seems that they are approaching it much like they did that damn mission statement. Because none of the wives would feel comfortable having one of their peers as CEO, Kody has grand plans to be the boss. He labels Robyn as the CFO, and Janelle is on the verge of tears, as she's been working her arse off preparing the financial statements. Kody doesn't even know the actual role of the Chief Financial Officer, which makes him the best choice to be boss. He gets very heated because he's never been in charge of the family. They are used to making choices as a group. He emotionally pukes on everyone in the session, bitching that he's never allowed to run the household. Did he just become the fifth wife? 

The family is a week away from their big pitch to their friends and investors. Kody reminds his wives that they will want to know how much money the family will need for the business, and how they will be paid back through profits. Yeah, good luck with that! Christine gives a very professional sounding blurb about how the company's core demographic does more online shopping. That's it? They are really going to have to step up their game! Christine worries that Robyn is going to have a hard time trusting the other women in their roles given that she's been so hands on in all aspects of My Sister Wives' Closet up until now. Not surprisingly, Meri had no plans to help with presentation, and she's in tears again. They want her to participate? You've got to be kidding me! She hates public speaking, y'all! Good luck in college. Geez. 

The day before their big presentation, the wives are meeting with their business consultant to do a practice run. Kody is about as convincing as I would be trying to pitch these heart shaped pieces of crap. Robyn rambles on about courage and bread-winning. Meri is clueless. Christine is the only one who is even partly prepared. Their consultant urges Robyn to speak from the heart, but she's worried she'll start crying and she's got such an ugly cry. Hey, at least she recognizes it! The consultant hopes the Browns are able to get out of their own way, and Kody is convinced that success is just 24 hours away. After all, he has the Midas touch, and everything he does turns to gold…that would explain why it was such a breeze mortgaging that cul-de-sac compound! That evening, Robyn is perfecting her ugly cry over writer's block. I am perfecting my ugly cry over Kody's ponytail. 

For their pitch, the wives are all sporting the jewelry and various tiny blazers in bold colors. I guess they don't realize that jackets should be able to button. Kody actually steps up to the plate with a semi-decent speech. He labels the brand as "fashion forward" and shares that the company sold over $180,000 last year. Who is buying this stuff? After blanking for a quick second, Christine makes her point before passing the buck to a sort of weepy Robyn. Meri does fine (what was she so worried about?), and Janelle ties up the presentation with a neat little bow. Kody then asks for over $2 million. One of the investors wonders how a site that gets 15 million hits a month only garners 500 sales. Robyn assures the investors that the family is just as hungry to grow the business, and Janelle worries that the group may not feel like the family can be as professional as needed. In their meeting, the investors are concerned about how slack and lacking their presentation is. Ouch.


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