My Five Wives Recap – Bullies and Bake Sales

 my five wives

On last night’s My Five Wives, Rhonda pursues adoption, Robyn attempts writing a children’s book, all of the women get mammograms, and Brady Williams does absolutely nothing.

Rhonda talks to Rosemary about waiting for the results of her mammogram, which she’s nervous about. Since she quit her job, Rhonda wants to pursue adopting a child again, although she’s faced obstacles in the past trying to adopt as a polygamist. 1: I can only imagine what the adoption agency’s reaction is when Rhonda calls them up. And 2: Why? Just…WHY?  

Robyn is interested in writing and illustrating a children’s book. She shows Brady the illustrations she painted, which are based on the experience her son, Trey, went through when he was bullied at school in the past. Robyn says Trey was targeted because he was smart and from a polygamist family. Robyn went to counseling to learn how to help Trey work through his struggles, while Brady says he wanted to go to school and “start pummeling” people.

Breaking news: Rhonda gets a call that her mammogram results are all good. She and Brady are relieved.

Family meeting time. Brady’s 30-person tribe is planning a trip to Washington State to see Brady’s family. Brady’s mother, Stella, is 5 years cancer free so the wives want to make a gift for her. Brady suggests a quilt…because quilts, in his tiny mind, are so easy to just “throw together.”

Rosemary’s daughter, Taylor, is leaving for a service trip to Peru, so the wives plan a bake sale to raise money. Robyn is getting her first mammogram, after which Rhonda will take everyone out to breakfast (all of the wives got mammograms after Rhonda’s scare last year). Brady stupidly comments that he hopes everyone’s boobs are ok. So, the deliverables from this family meeting all involve tons of tasks and grunt work for the 5 wives, and zero for Brady. Good meeting.

Robyn talks to Trey about his bullying experience and he gives her permission – super reluctantly – to write his story in her children’s book. Robyn feels like this story will empower Trey, but he looks like he’d rather do long division for a week than let this story see the light of day. Too late, Trey. Your family signed up for a reality show.

Taylor’s bake sale prep is in full swing. Rosemary supervises the baking while the kids and a few other wives man the stand. They sell a lot and even get a few donations to boot. Grand total: $351. Taylor still needs $600 more, so a car wash is next on the docket.

It’s Brady’s night at Robyn’s and they discuss the children’s book again. Robyn worries that Trey might be upset that she’s writing the book (um, yes, he is). She was also bullied in school because she grew up in a polygamist family, which she admits took a long term hit on her self esteem. Oh, Robyn, we definitely see that. Brady suggests that Robyn talk to his dad, who also wrote and – cough, cough – “self published” his own book. It dealt with his life, including his apparent stint in the secret service. No joke. Joke? I can’t keep up.

The wives all go out to breakfast for their post-mammogram party. Paulie is glad that Rhonda encouraged all of the wives to get checked because she was raised in a family that didn’t talk about “body parts.” Rhonda shares her good news about being cancer free. She also brings up her adoption goals, which Nonie admits will be a tough, if not impossible, task given their polygamist lifestyle. The ladies laugh a lot and seem much more comfortable as a group sans Brady.

The wives then head to the fabric store to get materials for Brady’s genius idea: making his mom a quilt. The whole family will trace their hands and each decorate a square for the quilt, which is a very sweet idea and involves minimal effort from Brady. Perfect. In the fabric store, Rosemary is reminded of the MATCHING dresses the wives used to make & wear together back in the day. We are treated to an actual old photo of this matchy-matchy-homemade-dress moment, and I’ve just got to say: thank you, TLC. Thank. You.

Rhonda calls up an adoption agency outside of Utah, admits she’s a polygamist, and is promptly hung up on. Ouch. Legally, Rhonda is not married so she’s basically trying to adopt as a single mother, but also reporting she’s a polygamist to every Tom Dick and Harry who answers her calls. She calls another agency and breaks down in tears as they immediately reject her as well. She calls a third agency who agrees to send her some paperwork. She’s overjoyed at the prospect of…filling out paperwork? I like Rhonda, but she is living in an alternate reality if she thinks adoption is either a feasible idea or even, frankly, possible.

Taylor throws a car wash, which only yields $64, so Brady has another bright idea: a Talent Show. Is this a Shirley Temple movie from 1943? Who throws a talent show to raise funds for anything? Brady says he’s grateful that his company is doing well so he can provide for his family during this time of great opportunity. For Brady’s portion of the Talent Show, he will be revealing the contents of his checking account in three months: two dolla bills. #youarebankrupt #talentshowsdontpaytherent

Robyn’s publisher calls to reject Robyn’s book. The market for children’s books about bullying is completely saturated at the moment, according to the publisher. Brady encourages Robyn to finish it anyway, but she looks like someone just punched her in the gut. Meanwhile, Rhonda tells Rosemary how many adoption agencies rejected her today. It’s all about rejection right now for these ladies. Robyn, Nonie and Rosemary seem to understand the fight Rhonda’s up against with the adoption fiasco even if she doesn’t.

Rhonda later asks her kids what they think of adoption and they all say “yay.” So with that ringing endorsement of a non-adult audience, Rhonda feels reassured. She fills out the adoption paperwork later, seals it, and sends it to the same circular file my daughter sends her letter to Santa every year.

Talent Show Time. Donations are encouraged from all of the other kids. Rosemary, Rhonda, and Brady do some creepy/funny little skit. Taylor raises about 50 bucks and Brady promises to pay for the remaining $300 or so. All I have to say is: get that in cash, Taylor!


 Recap Author: Erin M.

Photo Credit: TLC