Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons Recap – Episodes 1 and 2


I’m going to summarize the past two episodes of Kourtney & Khloe Take The Hamptons because they share the same storylines: Khloe Kardashian is trying to juggle recent guy issues, Kourtney Kardashian’s bitching about Scott Disick’s partying ways and Scott wants Kourt to stop bitching at him. There. I could really stop typing now. However, I’m willing to dig a bit deeper into the Kardashian psyche and all the drama they have to offer. Bear with me people, it’s about to get real (not really). 

We begin with KhloeKourtney, Scott and the kids pulling up to their gorgeous Hamptons summer house.  They’re racing to get into the front door and bam – they are denied by a house lock and no one knowing the code.  Can someone say foreshadowing?? They should probs pack up and head back to LA. This is a bad omen.  Alas, Scott crawls through an open window to gain entrance.  

Summering in the Hamptons is Kourtney’s dream come true while Scott is struggling a bit to come to terms with the recent death of his parents this past year.  The Hamptons is where he grew up and he just doesn’t know how to cope with life without this parents. I am a huge fan of Scott lately and I can completely understand that people just handle grief differently.  Some are drawn to substance abuse, others close up and recluse, while others move on like life hasn’t changed but really those suppressed feelings will resurface later and haunt them.  I could go on and on about all the different ways people grieve.  Given Scott’s past drinking issues – he will most definitely chose the substance abuse path to grieve.  I haven’t seen an episode of KUWTK in like 4 years and I can predict this – but idiot Kourt seemed perplexed with how to deal with Scott during this trying time in his life. Get Scott to a shrink. Agree to no nightclub gigs for at least a year (cannot believe people pay Scott to appear at clubs these days) and talk to each other about your feelings… Like a lot. Done, I’m sending Kourt an invoice for my stellar advice for $25k.  I just solved all her problems in like 4 sentences.  But no, this would not a Kardashian reality show make. We must watch on repeat each week the same drawn out storylines!! Ugh. 
Khloe seems excited to be in the Hamptons but she’s got a new man, rapper French Montana in her life and damn she wants to hang with him.  Side note – is French giving anyone else a major David Blaine vibe?  Like wouldn’t it be hilarious if in like 2 months we all find it out French was just another David Blaine dupe show? Like his ultimate illusion to become someone else and pull it off??? Anyway, she’s still in the lovey-dovey phase of a relationship so Kourt is crazy to think she’s gonna stay put in the Hamptons all summer long. In fact, about 8 seconds after they arrive, Khloe announces she’s heading to South Africa on Saturday to hang with French and present at the MTV awards there.  Kourt is all “What the????” whining about how this is NOT what she envisioned her Hamptons summer vacay to be like.  Then Scott drops the bomb that he’s gonna be in NYC that weekend to host a few parties.  He might as well have run Kourtney over with their car and told Mason he murdered Santa because this is the worst news. Ever. Kourtney can’t believe Khloe and Scott don’t want to have silent staring contests on the couch all day with Kourt and would rather go have “fun” elsewhere. The nerve. 
Khloe goes to South Africa – we sit through subtitles of her conversations with French.  I’m just not sure he puts his lips together when he talks which is making it quite difficult to decifer ANYTHING he says. Scott bails for NYC for the night to host a club gig and man it couldn’t be more painfully obvious he should not be there.  Although I’m understanding of Scott’s emotional state, he needs to address the issue of his drinking and his role as a dad and partner for Kourt. Kourt calls Kim for advice and she suggests she do something drastic to let everyone know Kourt ain’t putting up with Scott’s antics anymore. Oh lord, here we go.
Across the globe, Khloe wraps up her South Africa trip with French on a safari and she is on cloud nine.
The next morning Scott drives back to the Hamptons and security denies him entrance into the house.  He is banned from the premises and Kourtney is not backing down, all the while, her poor little peanut kids are witnessing these shenanigans. Recurring theme – they need therapy!!! She also kicks out Khloe (this makes no sense whatsoever) and both Khloe and Scott camp out at a local hotel to let Kourt cool off.  The next morning, Kourt has chilled out a bit and let’s them back in the house and the 3 of them have a mini pow-wow about what is going on.  Just when I think they might be taking steps to moving forward – it the SAME discussion they’ve had for the last 7 years. Ugh – Khloe is not a licensed therapist, they are talking in circles and getting nowhere. I think Kourtney  kind of enjoys this misery because who would put themselves through this repetitive craziness?
After this chit chat, it’s awkward and quiet around the house with people avoiding each other. Khloe takes Kourtney out of the house to workout and maybe sweat out some frustrations but Kourt is in a permanent state of hating Scott.  It can’t be shaken off! Khloe trying her best to play Switzerland and takes Scott to lunch.  Scott invites her to be his tennis partner after Kourtney rejects the offer and Khloe thinks this is a step in the right direction for him (agreed!).
Later that evening, Kourtney concedes to allow Scott in her bed for the night and she kicks him out of the bed halfway through and he retreats to sleeping on the bathroom floor.  This is no Bueno and becoming difficult to watch. They treat their relationship like they are still in high school with their petty drama. I mean Khloe’s last marriage was riddled with hard-core drug use and sleeping with prostitutes (allegedly) and she could see the writing on the wall and get the F out. Kourt might want to listen to her advice.  I also can’t help but think Kourt needs a hobby or friends. Not that her issues with Scott aren’t majorly important but it appears she derives a large bulk of her happiness from her relationship with Scott.  Like 75% of her joy comes from Scott and like 25% from being a mom.  That’s a very large bucket of happiness not being filled. Perhaps she should make her bucket of happiness from Scott be more like 25% and find the other 50% in other things/friendships. 75% of her life is spent in misery. Change it, gurrrlll!!! This is exhausting.  I’m going to be able to get a PhD in psychiatry after this season. 
After Khloe and Scott’s tennis lesson and all their bro time together – Kourtney kicks Scott out of the guest room too.  So Scott literally has nowhere to sleep and decides to bunk with Khloe. This could not piss Kourt off more and she is at her wits end. 
The next morning Scott tries to extend the old olive branch to Kourt and drags her to their tennis game so she can join in on the fun.  Kourtney’s version of fun is beaming tennis balls 100 mph from the machine at Khloe and  Scott and Jesus, she needs a Xanax asap. To add fuel to the fire, Kourt peels out of the tennis club parking lot sans the other two leaving them to fend a ride home for themselves.  This has pushed Scott to his limits and he is pisssssed.  Once they get home, Kourt finally admits that their bro time is making things worse and Khloe expresses that she’d lay off hanging with Scott but Kourt doesn’t communicate well with other people of what’s going on in her crazo head.  
We close the second episode with a final convo between Kourt and Scott and essentially they sweep their issues under the rug (yeah, because that always works out well) and decide to try and get along and have a fun summer.  Previews show next week’s episode is cray-cray as Scott might have overdosed on drugs and booze.  This should go over well with Kourt.  Looking forward to Sunday people!!!!
Recap Author: Bonnie K.
Photo Credit: E!