Mob Wives Recap: Three Hour Tour

mob wives boat

Who knew Big Ang had it in her? I’m still reeling over her altercation with friend Renee Graziano on last week’s episode of Mob Wives!

Last night’s show starts where last week’s left off, with Ang preparing to snap Renee’s neck. New Natalie DiDonato can’t believe she’s hanging out with a new and crazy group of women, but she’s kind of intrigued so she’s not going anywhere. Karen Gravano tries to wrangle Renee as she screams at a retreating Ang. Keep in mind that Ang isn’t fleeing because she’s fearful of Renee, but because she’s worried what she’ll do if she stays. It’s always a litmus test for insanity when Karen is the voice of reason. Poor Drita D’avanzo just wanted to have a nice party to promote her store.


It’s the first time I’ve been lucky enough to pause my television at the exact moment when VH1 touts Natalie Guercio’s mob ties. Her cousin, as I’ve mentioned before, has his or her name redacted, but I love that it says she comes form a “Philly Crime Family (Allegedly).” She’s got the same about of mobster ties as Kermit the Frog. It has to be questionable if her own network is doubting her, right? She is training London at the funeral home, and he’s taking the lead on this afternoon’s funeral. Back in New York, Karen is checking on Renee after the incident. Renee is still in shock over Ang’s behavior, and she was ready to drag Ang out of the club by her hair. She doesn’t believe that she should be held responsible for Junior’s actions. Karen doesn’t think that Ang knows the definition of a rat given that she’s still friends with Ratalie. Karen wants to hear Ang’s side, but Renee declares their friendship dead. 

Drita arrives at the Drunken Monkey to rehash the evening with Ang. Like Renee, Ang is still livid, but she’s apologetic for ruining Drita’s party. Ang warns that Karen better not intervene on Renee’s behalf, but Drita vows to have Ang’s back if that happens. Like Karen, Drita suggests a sit-down for the four of them, and like Renee, Ang immediately shuts her down. In Philly, Natalie G. and London are packing up their place, and Natalie is filling in London on other Natalie calling her a cop calling rat. She reveals that she’s learned that Natalie 2.0 is actually a rat whore douchebag (she’s such a poet laureate), and she can’t wait to call her out on it. Speaking of new Natalie, Karen has initiated a happy hour so she can get to know the newbie better. She is probably planning to form an “I Hate Ratalie” club. She’s totes President, unless Renee has already called that position. Karen wants to vet the new girl and learn her agenda before she’s willing to believe what Natalie has to say about Natalie. According to Natalie, Ratalie is a whore rat slumbag skank slut dumpser. Wordsmith. Why aren’t they friends? They are the same person! Karen respects New Natalie’s ability to speak her mind, and she’d love to see a Natalie vs. Natalie face-off. 

mob wives ang

At Lady Boss, Drita is having her once-an-episode phone call with husband Lee who refuses to be on the show in the physical form. Drita is wearing her finest Shore Store attire (I love you, Drita, but those shredded t-shirts are out of style) and filling in Lee about Junior’s involvement in Ang’s cousin going to jail. You won’t be shocked to learn that Lee hates rats almost as much as Drita does and even more so than he hates the Feds. That’s a lot of hate, y’all. At home, Renee is tending to AJ after his Achilles tendon surgery. She guilts him for making her worry while fixing him a grilled cheese. She applauds him for stepping up to the plate and not whining about his injury. She then serves him the weakest “grilled” cheese I’ve ever seen.

mob wives natalie d

Karen is meeting with Drita and Ang to get their take on the Renee drama. She’s hopeful the two women can work through their differences, and she quickly reveals that she’s met with new Natalie. Drita isn’t shocked by this confession given they have something in common–their hatred for Ratalie. Karen transcribes her conversation with Natalie, including the part where Natalie shares that Ratalie called Natalies’ boyfriend to get dirt on Natalie that Ratalie could use against Natalie. Got it? Drita is shocked. Who does that? She and Ang agree with Karen…a Philly vs. Philly smack down wouldn’t be the least entertaining thing to watch. Who’s got the popcorn? When Karen brings up Renee, Ang goes on the defensive. Karen suggests a meeting on a boat because that way no one can leave…um, unless they go overboard??

Ang is renovating a house, and she’s hoping to have it finished before her son AJ is released from Rikers. She wants to invite him and his young family to come live with her. Drita is impressed with the progress, but Ang is worried it’s turned into a money pit. Drita takes a tour, and I must say that her view is incredible. The women bond over spending ridiculous amounts of money on faucets and sofas. Neil is pretty much worthless according to his wife, but he’s trying to help. I hope Ang won’t find it odd when she finds me living in her master bath. Meanwhile, Natalie and London are having a date night, but she’s not having fun since he refuses to drink. He’s such a buzz kill…and kind of a saint to put up with her.

mob wives karen

Wow. Karen was able to get these women on a boat. They’re on a boat and, they’re goin’ fast and, they’ve got a nautical themed pashmina afghan…sorry, I love that song. It’s Drita and Ang against Karen and Renee, although Drita and Karen are both hoping for a positive resolution. Ang arrives with a bandaged hand sporting several stitches after an accident and home, and Drita believes it’s for the best…she can’t hit Renee when she’s wearing a splint! Renee begins by saying that the rat comments were unforgivable. Ang retorts that Renee started the entire thing. Karen and Drita try to referee and rehash the women’s issues with a bit of what actually happened. Karen believes that Renee shouldn’t have challenged Ang’s friendship with Natalie by making her swear on a Bible she didn’t do something, and Drita reminds the ladies that Junior is the rat. Renee is screaming that she hates being the fall guy for Junior’s behavior. Renee then tries to explain her comments about Natalie’s DNA being on the dollar bill, and both ladies apologize for the huge misunderstanding. They bring out actually bring out a Bible to swear that they are over the drama in their friendship. Once all is resolved, Karen wants to get to heart of the issue…Ratalie. Karen tells her friends that Natalie has been attacking her on social media for being a deadbeat mother. Ang and Drita agree that family should be left out of it, and Drita promises that if she learns that Natalie has really said these things, she’ll punch her teeth out for Karen. Thankfully, everyone remains dry.


[Photo Credit: VH1]