The Real Housewives of Melbourne Recap – The Ladies Tea Off

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We open this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Melbourne with Janet Roach meeting Gina Liano for lunch to discuss the whole deal that went down between Janet, Chyka Keebaugh and Gamble Breaux. Both come wearing fighting colors – orange for Gina and black for Janet. Gina coordinates her outfits down to the eyeshadow. It must take her like 2 hours to get ready before she leaves the house.

Gina wants some clarity on who said what and Janet is in for it. You can just tell Janet gets caught up in the moment with spreading rumors and gossip as Gina is hammering her about what was exactly said, Janet essentially starts stuttering. Janet’s talking in circles and it’s not looking good for her. Gina scolds her and is just like “Shut your trap sometimes because it gets you into trouble!”. I think Janet needed to hear this – but she hated hearing it and walked out of the lunch. This is unfortunate that she took it so poorly from Gina. Janet probably felt pretty bad about the whole ordeal and is now regretting what she said which caused her to get up and leave. I don’t like that Gina inserted herself into the middle of this, but Janet did need a good talking to. Let’s hope this is laid to rest!

Next up we get to see Chyka and Bruce at work at their events company, The Big Group. I love seeing housewives at work. And I have say – I would love Chyka’s job! IMO, part of the reason why Chyka is so down to earth is because she deals with clients and the “real world” while keeping her ego and attitude in check. Her husband Bruce is just a delight to watch – so charming and warm.

Across town, Janet’s golf game get together is approaching and she decided to head out shopping with Jackie Gillies for some new golf attire. While browsing in Brooks Brothers, they hilariously review the dress code required on the links. No jeans, most likely long shorts and high socks and I have a feeling their get-ups will be cute, but also not functional (like most housewives sporting outings). Jackie inquires about who is invited and Janet cuts to the chase. She mentions that she’s invited everyone and starts holding back tears telling Jackie about how crappy her lunch with Gina was and that she hasn’t heard from Gamble. I think Janet just feels bad about the whole thing. She’s feeling some major remorse and now is actually concerned that people might start not liking her big mouth. Jackie rallies Janet back to reality and tells her to toughen up and not worry about Gina and Gamble which puts her at ease.

Gina is apparently in high demand for events and would like to update her headshots for PR reasons. Her photographer is a dear friend of hers who happen to also be a Playboy photographer. This whole segment is quite entertaining as Gina shows up in full Gina make-up, dress, hair and jewelry and starts posing away! I’m just watching these scenes with my mouth open as the nutty photog is a caricature of himself. He’s shouting at Gina about how sexy she is and saying, “More, Gina More”! Whaaatttt? Her shots are awkward as she is leaning onto a table that is a little too short for her and then moves to laying on the hood of a red Camaro in his studio. For some reason, Gina laying on a car in a red dress is such a strange option for a lawyer’s PR head shot. The shoot seemed very Playboy-ish/Glamour Shots which Gina sounded like in her interviews is what her intent was. Um, okay. Any sense of self-awareness that I thought Gina might have possessed just went out the window after this scene. How can you not make fun of this entire montage of Gina? But she is dead serious about how wonderful it went and how the pictures are going to look great. Who the heck is she going to book after she sends these photos out to people?!?

That evening, Jackie and Chyka have dinner with their spouses at Chyka’s pop-up Whiskey bar/restaurant (what doesn’t Chyka do?!). They update the situation with the ladies with the guys and are anticipating an interesting outing for Golf the next day.

Janet and Jackie jump in a helicopter to the course to meet the ladies. Chyka is the first to arrive and Gamble meets her shortly after. Chyka immediately apologizes for the lunch debacle. It was a sincere and mature apology from Chyka and Gamble happily accepts. I must discuss Gamble’s outfit for golf. While most of the women look like they walked out of a Ralph Lauren ad, Gamble has a mohair newsboy cap, baby blue knew high socks with white bows and short white shorts. Then Gina strolls in a pink floral lace spandex spaghetti strap dress.  Janet and Jackie cruise up to meet everyone in the golf carts and it seems to be fake-friendly as they greet each other. Gina changes into golf shoes and she walks out of the locker room struggling to walk. She is walking on her tip toes mimicking her stride as if she was wearing stilettos. She has no clue how to walk in flats and I couldn’t believe it!   Who wears heels THAT much that they can’t seem to figure out to walk in flats???

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Janet is the only one that knows how to play golf and gives the ladies a quick lesson about teeing off. Gamble is up next and despite her terrible outfit, she managing to get a pretty decent swing. Gina follows, and Jackie mumbles under her breath that she has a feeling Gina’s club is going to go flying and 2 seconds later, exactly that happens. Damn, Jackie knows her psychic stuff. Watching Jackie attempt to tee off after about 30 misses was the highlight of this episode. Chyka is rolling on the ground laughing and it is hysterical watching Jackie hit the ball. So far, no drama on the course! Of course that lasts for about 8 minutes when Chyka brings up how everyone is getting along andJackie chimes in that it seems pretty BS. She wants Chyka, Gamble and Janet to resolve their issues and tells Gina to butt out. Gina reluctantly agrees and the three of them hash out it. Janet apologizes, Gamble apologizes and there are hugs all around for the whole crew. This makes me happy.

Post golf game, champs await for toasts and laughs (until another riff is bound to start up) – they are enjoying the rest of the day together!

Next week, the ladies and lads have a dinner out and Janet is on the cougar chase for a younger man!

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 Photo Credit: Bravo TV