90-Day Fiance Finale Recap: This Is It

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My, how far we’ve come in just two months – or for these couples, ninety days! Unexpected twists and turns, with a little sketchy behavior thrown in for good measure, have followed each couple since their K-1 Visa clocks began ticking. From roach infested hovels, true love has bloomed. Bank accounts were drained dry, and evil prenups were signed. Dancers turned Mormon, and Mark turned our stomachs. But poor, brow-beaten Alexei did not turn into a model! So, all is not lost! This week marks the end of our 90-Day Fiance journey, where we find out if the remaining couples will indeed make it to the altar. (Post-show, the cast gathered for a “Couples Tell All” reunion, which we aren’t recapping. But sound off below about your thoughts on the whole shebang! It’s been quite a ride.)

Mark is preparing a dinner for Nikki’s 20th birthday. So, no longer a teen bride! They’re leaving for Hawaii the next day to get married, so Mark wants to make sure Nikki eats food laced with plenty of Benadryl is in good spirits before their big day. Mark’s daughter, Elise, comes over to wish Nikki happy birthday, and to be skeeved out about Nikki only being one year younger than her. Still reeling from the forced prenup, Nikki is in no mood for Make Party Time, but she rallies for dinner. Elise asks if they’re excited for the wedding? Marks answer is: “Whelp, for all practical purposes, Nikki and I have enjoyed each other’s company, and it feels like a marriage.” #RomeoInMomJeans 

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Elise seems skeptical of Nikki’s readiness for marriage. Which, yup! She should be. In a hail mary move, Mark busts out a birthday present for Nikki, a replacement for the plastic zip-tie ring she’s been sporting all season. It’s a honkin’ diamond, er, diamond-looking rock freshly yanked from the interred remains of wife #1 and Nikki seems pleased with the effort Mark is finally making. Literally a day before their wedding trip. 

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It’s wedding day for Loren and Alexei! Alexei’s mom and brother have flown in from Israel, which is lovely. While they prep for the ceremony, Alexei reflects on the rough road they’ve traveled to the altar. Alexei’s friend, Schuyler, and his brother sit down for a pre-ceremony chat, plus some much needed booze. A worn-down Alexei admits that it’s been touch and go these past three months, and that 90 days is just not enough time to decide whether you want to marry someone for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Alas, he’s determined to do it. 

Meanwhile, Loren is micromanaging her hair and makeup because this day (much like the remaining days of Alexei’s natural life) is all about her. She’s buried the hatchet with her mom who, last seen, was telling a petulant Loren to “eff off!” (teehee!) Today is not about effing off, however! Today is about dreams. And Loren’s dreams stop for no one! 

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In another part of Florida, Carolina has been granted a 10-minute unionized break from her scum-scrubbing duties to Skype with her family back in Colombia, who she misses dearly. She tears up while talking to them, admitting that fitting in with Fernando’s family (read: his overbearing mom) is tougher than she expected. Carolina’s parents remind her that she is on enemy turf now, so she’ll have to navigate accordingly. Not feeling accepted is one thing, but Carolina is flat-out being emotionally tortured by Fernando’s mother. She’s not sure if she’s making the right decision to marry Fernando after all, but she’s still willing to try, even though she’s scared.

On a wedding day north of the Mason-Dixon line, Melanie and Devar are mere moments away from the altar. Despite her sister Bev’s skepticism, Melanie is ready to pledge her troth to the man who will also be her son’s stepdad. Out of the six couples, Melanie seems to have the most on the line here, given the bond Hunter has forged with Devar thus far. The wedding ceremony seems to be happening in some sort of metal storage unit, but who cares when it’s true love? Whether it’s true love on Devar’s part has yet to be determined, though.

Having crossed an ocean together for love, Mark and Nikki arrive in Hawaii for their big day. Nikki is excited to see something other than the stagnant waters of Mark’s pond-front shack, and as they frolic in the warm waters of Hawaii, the couple seems to be happier than they’ve been in…89 days.

Mark, however, still wants assurances from Nikki about her commitment. Because an ironclad prenup which guarantees your wife gets NOTHING in a divorce doesn’t offer enough proof? He sits her down for a talk. Does she really want to marry him, despite his wishes to never have children? Come on, he doesn’t want to be nagged about kids in 10 years when Nikki is feeling the pull of motherhood! Ah, Mark. Always the poet! A resigned Nikki says she accepts his terms. She knows she has to give up something for love, but “it’s okay,” she sighs. #GreekTragedy

Back in Miami, Fernando and Carolina have also fast-forwarded to their wedding day. Fernando’s friend, Louis, is officiating the ceremony. And trying to talk Fernando out of actually pulling the trigger on this thing. “I’ve given her a bunch of reasons not to marry me, and yet she still wants to,” says Fernando of Carolina. He hopes she’s right. That he is a decent human being? Yes, we all hope she’s right. But wishin’ and hopin’ don’t make it so. 

Behind the scenes, Carolina is chugging wine (well, she should be!) as Fernando’s mother snipes that she “looks nervous.” (Seriously, can you imagine a WORSE confidante to spend the moments before your wedding with than Fernando’s Colombian-hatin’ mama!?) She does concede that Carolina looks beautiful. Which Carolina truly does. Then she forces Victoria Secret panties on her, because it’s tradition, yo! In a near-human moment, Fernando’s mom tells Carolina that she will be her daughter from now on. Carolina tears up over the unexpectedly tender words, and seems relieved to feel a little less alone on this important day. 

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Back in PA, Melanie is escorted down the aisle by her father. Devar says he’s overwhelmed with emotion at seeing his beautiful bride. His mother is in attendance as well, which makes him happy. Hunter stands with them as they exchange vows that sound like a Girl Scout Pledge. Devar sheds a few tears, but Melanie holds it together. In the end, they make it to the kiss in tact!

Melanie says she would do the K-1 Visa process all over again and has no regrets. For his part, Devar says he’s fallen in love “so deep, there is no way out.” While this sounds vaguely threatening, I think he’s being sincere! At the reception, Hunter gives a sweet speech for his mom and Devar, which charms the crowd. And by the end of the night’s dancing and boozing, even crusty ole’ Bev has been won over. Crossing my fingers for them, if only for the sake of Melanie’s little boy.

Down south, as Alexei sees Loren escorted down the aisle by her parents, he beams. He knows he’s made the right decision in marrying her, despite his hesitations. And let’s face it: Loren and Alexei make a gorgeous bride and groom! They trade vows, then rings, then Alexei hands over his balls. (I kid!) And with that, they’re officially husband and wife.

“Oh my god, we’re married!” chirps Loren. Now they get to dance the night away, then (as Loren eloquently puts it), finally have sex. Huh? Don’t tell me they were waiting? Hmmm. Like a metaphor for their entire courtship, the cake topper is prominently displayed throughout the evening’s festivities: a bride dragging an unwilling groom by the collar. #YouCan’tMakeThisSh*tUp

It’s the moment of truth for Carolina and Fernando. She looks beautiful as she walks down the aisle, and her parents are even propped up on a laptop via Skype to see her! Awww. Carolina tears up as she trades vows with Fernando, and soldiers through as much English as she can before kissing her groom. Good for her! Warning to Fernando: don’t do her dirty, you dog! Those Colombian parents can turn from virtual to real in one plane ride, so check yo’self homie.

To Debbie Downer the good vibe, Fernando’s mom interviews that she still thinks Carolina is basically lazy and worthless. So she muses that it’s a good thing that the couple are still living with her, so she can do all of the work. Fernando tears up in an interview about Carolina making him a better man. Let’s hope that’s true.

Oh, TLC! You’ve saved the best for last, you teases! We’re back in Hawaii to see just how far Nikki will go to ensure a secure future for herself. As she gets her makeup and hair done before the ceremony, she chats with her makeup artist about the K-1 Visa process which, coincidentally, the makeup artist also went through. They discuss having children, and Nikki admits her fiance is not interested in the idea. She’s still “kinda confused” about her true feelings on this issue. Does she really want to give up the prospect of kids for this geezer man?

Waiting on the beach is Mark, who is getting nervous about his bride showing up. Nikki’s already 40 minutes late. Mark was feeling secure about today, but is now getting a little anxious as he stares out into the sea pondering whether Nikki’s back in at the hotel placing hand prints all over his rented convertible

Oh snap! Nikki SHOWS UP! (I’m not new to this reality TV game, but I really did think this one could actually go either way. It’s just too damn Gothic Novel meets Unsolved Mysteries to feel totally authentic. Plus, with the rumors of Nikki falsifying who she actually is swirling around the internet this past week, one has to wonder how much of their story is for the cameras versus real life messiness?) Nevertheless, Nikki appears on the horizon looking lovely in her (hopefully more than $10) wedding dress and crown of flowers. She’s ready to take the plunge. 

With not one person in attendance besides the two of them and the officiant, Mark and Nikki say their “I Do’s.” Marks says Nikki is his destiny. He thinks he’s the luckiest man on the planet. Nikki tells Mark she promises to love him “til the end,” which is, give or take, 30+ odd years. 

“We’re married!” Nikki cheers, and they both look happy in this moment. In their interview afterward, Nikki reminds Mark to remember she’s young. And Mark brags that he’s still got all of his teeth. For now, those are the facts that will have to sustain them.

As for Mark and Nikki’s future or the questions about just how real their love story is, only time will tell. For now, let’s end on a quote that seems fitting: “For every mystery, there is someone, somewhere, who knows the truth. Perhaps that someone is watching. Perhaps…it’s you.”  

TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS SEASON’S 90-DAY FIANCE? WHO’S GONNA LAST? AND WHO’S DOOMED FROM THE START?  

Photo Credit: TLC

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