Is ninety-minutes of Dance Moms really necessary, Lifetime? How much footage could you possibly have? The season is already going to be at least a hundred episodes long, so do we need to be subjected to super-sized episodes each week? Oh well. More air time for Abby Lee Miller at least!
As last night’s episode begins, the mini moms are excited to enter a quiet studio. However, they are quickly bombarded by the veteran mothers who tease them about fighting over a plastic crown during last week’s episode. Jill condescendingly compliments the mini team as “cute.” After some strong duets, the veteran moms are feeling confident in the pyramid. Of course, they are confused when they see so many pictures as part of the weekly round up. Are the minis part of the pyramid as well? Say it isn’t so!
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Celeste is banished to the last spot on the pyramid due to her mother’s big mouth, followed by another mini for being off on her choreography. A sick Nia is next for not being able to perform her duet with Kendall due to strep throat. JoJo‘s picture pops up after Nia, with Brynn rounding out the bottom tier. Both Jessalyn and Ashlee look shocked as Abby critiques their mirrored performance.
On the third rung, Liliana follows Ariana (why am I even trying with these mini names?) but places before another -iana. JoJo is almost in tears, and Jessalyn rips JoJo’s picture off of the pyramid. The minis just shook their butts in a bathing suit…they should not be higher than her daughter. Abby admits that she’s still slightly peeved at Jessalyn for taking over her job when she was out with knee surgery. Kendall and Kalani share the top spot, but Kira complains the elite team shouldn’t have to share their pyramid with the minis. Abby concedes to separating the minis out of the pyramid.
Kalani and Brynn are the hometown heroes as the ALDC heads to Phoenix to compete. They will be performing a solo together. Nia and Kendall will have one more attempt at their defunct Beyonce/Gaga duet from last week.
Abby reveals that this week will be a difficult week for her given that Mothers’ Day is on the horizon, and she gets teary discussing the group numbers. The minis will be learning a lyrical routine to pay homage to their bond with their mothers. Meanwhile, the elite team will be portraying their moms in a retirement home, complete with walkers. Jill is beside herself. A cheesy prop piece? Please! In the viewing room, the mini moms chat about how the minis must really be winning over Abby since their daughters are dancing a number much dearer to the dance teacher’s heart. As the veteran moms listen with disgust, they snipe about how the mini moms never even met Abby’s mother and couldn’t care less about the history they have at the ALDC.
Not only is Jill totally over the elite’s group routine, she’s less than thrilled with Kendall and Nia‘s duet. Even Holly agrees. It’s cute, sure, but it’s not going to win their division. When they compare the choreography to Brynn and Kalani‘s partner dance, there is no competition. It’s clear which duet Abby wants to take the top spot, explaining she wants her girls to shine in their hometown. In the viewing area, Ashlee shares another possibility for the favoritism. Both she and Kira pulled their daughters from the local dance scene to be taught by Abby. How bad would Abby look if the girls danced in Phoenix and hadn’t improved under her tutelage? The mini moms are still beside themselves that Abby would have their daughters do a lyrical number in honor of Mothers’ Day. Jill can’t fathom why the minis are getting a lyrical and all of Abby’s attention.
As the veteran mothers cringe over their daughters dancing with walkers, Jill decides that there is no way the girls can perform this number. Ashlee and Holly agree. They need to tell Abby exactly how they feel, but they have to present a united front. The mothers interrupt rehearsal to convey to Abby just how offensive the dance appears. As Abby’s mom spent her final days in a nursing home, the last thing she wants to do is poke fun at the elderly. Kira shares Ashlee’s observation: doesn’t Abby want the girls to shine so the people of Phoenix can see what a difference she’s made as their teacher. As the girls glare at their moms for this uprising, each mother pulls her daughter from the number.
The following day, the mini mothers feign shock that the veteran moms pulled the group routine. The mini mom who is a therapist hasn’t seen the dance where the girls boogie down with walkers, but she can’t imagine how it could be offensive. She’s pretty sure that the veteran moms just don’t want to compete against their girls. Basically, Jill and crew are jealous that the minis have a lyrical number. Holly bellows that Nia spent time in a wheelchair, and she’s not about to let her daughter participate in a dance that could be seen as making fun at people with disabilities. The mini moms scoff at this notion…except for one who remains silent.
At the last day of practice, Jill is aghast that Abby is spending so much time with the minis who still aren’t implementing Abby’s corrections. The minis are a lost cause…Abby needs to be focused on the juniors! As Abby runs through the duets with Nia and Kendall, as well as Kalani and Brynn, the mini mothers find it ironic that their daughters idolize the older girls while the veteran moms treat the new moms so terribly. Have none of them ever watched this show before?
In lieu of the walker routine, Abby has decided the junior team will do a hip hop improv. Abby spends ten minutes blocking an imaginary swim meet before dismissing the confused group. Gia steps in to say what everyone else is thinking–thank goodness the duets perform first! That will give them a few extra minutes to figure out exactly what to make of this group routine. In the words of the great Ryan Lochte, “Hell jeah.”
On the day of competition, the mini mothers are bonding over the fact that the veteran moms hate them because they are super jealous. They giggle about what horrible role models those mothers are for their daughters. Um, isn’t this the week to celebrate mothers? The righteous mini mom can’t believe that Abby would condone the veteran moms’ behavior. Again, has she seen the show? The mini mom that looks like a long last Jackson sibling concurs. Those elite mothers are so ridiculous. As the mini mothers complain about segregation, Jill questions whether Abby is infatuated with the idea of the minis. Not really…she can’t even remember their names. Something “iana” right? In an effort to show solidarity as part of the ALDC, the mini moms bust into the juniors’ dressing room to wish them good luck. The older girls compliment the minis on their flashy make-up and costumes before quickly getting in one last run through on their routines. Once again, the mini moms are astounded. Rude!
Kalani and Brynn are the first to dance, and they are feeling the pressure of performing in their home state. The girls are confident after their routine, but they seek confirmation from JoJo, who is waiting in the wings. They were in sync with beautiful lines. Nia and Kendall dance next, and while the choreography isn’t nearly as challenging, the girls make the most of it. Nia’s strap breaks, which could have been a MAJOR wardrobe malfunction, but she continues like a champ, never missing a beat.
After the pairs are finished, therapist mini mom reminds the other mini moms how important it is to share feelings. They have just supported the junior team even after the teens were dismissive of their little girls. She encourages her counterparts to speak up, and the women decide to confront the elite mothers. Why are the teens so mean to the minis? Kira loses it. Their girls aren’t mean, they are just focused on practice. Who interrupts a last minute run through? She screams in the faces of the mini moms, questioning the therapist’s ability to do her job. I’m with her on that one! As the mini moms form a Red Rover-esque wall of teamwork in the face of Kira’s, um, face, she physically pushes past them. One mini mom is overcome in the moment and starts screeching after Kira about being a horrible role model. I’m going to quit mentioning it, but this show has been on for no less than fifty-eight seasons, right? How are they shocked by what is happening?
Before the group number, Kalani feels badly that the minis feel slighted. Holly warns the girls not to engage in any negativity with the mini moms. Thankfully, the teens worked with Gia to choreograph a lyrical piece instead of the hip hop improv. They’ve even put together their own costumes. Abby pretends to be passive about this change, but secretly, she’s upset that she won’t get credit when the number does an amazing job.
Before the minis take the stage, therapist mom and whiny crown mom alert Abby to the Great Kira Shove of 2016. Abby doesn’t give two poops about Kira pushing these women. They can come talk to her when they’ve been flicked in the forehead by someone sporting a busted Kate Gosselin hairdo. There is no sympathy for the mini moms. The minis have no choice but to rock their lyrical routine to honor Abby’s mother in hopes of gaining a tiny bit of respect from these loons. Mission accomplished. Those kiddos did a fabulous job!
Of course, the routine choreographed by the junior team is beyond phenomenal, and Abby has nothing to do with it. Stunning. At the awards ceremony, Kendall and Nia‘s duet places third, while Kalani and Brynn place second. Kalani allows herself to feel down for about three seconds. Who care that much about first place? Has she met Abby? The minis win their division in the group routine, and it’s a special win for Abby.
When it’s time to announce the junior group routine, Abby seems disinterested while playing on her phone. However, she’s crossing her fingers as he ticks off the runners up routines. Not surprisingly, the ALDC juniors take the top spot, and it’s well deserved. What a coincidence! The commentator asks who choreographed the routine!
Backstage, the minis barge into the elite dressing room to gift Abby with a giant picture of Abby and her mom. Jill finds it laughable, given the minis have no clue who Abby’s mom is. Holly decides to intervene. The mini moms accused their daughters of treating their girls badly. Has Abby EVER had anyone complain about the elite team’s behavior? No…they are always angels. The veteran moms pose an ultimatum…it’s the newbies or them! Be careful what you wish for, Abby warns.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHICH MINI MOM IS THE WORST?
Photo Credit: Lifetime